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Who chooses new curtains etc?

(61 Posts)
annep1 Mon 09-Dec-19 00:05:29

Do you choose new things for the home together? I mean smaller items like curtains or lightfittings.
We always have such trouble choosing. Like this week a new light fitting for the living room. By the time OH eliminates possibles its narrowed down so much that in the end I'm left with a very small number like two to choose from. It's not really fun.
I've just gone online and ordered one he "approved".
I would love him just to say if you like it buy it.
Am I being a moan. Please tell me if I am.

M0nica Mon 09-Dec-19 00:14:17

Generally, I take the lead in house decor decisions, but wouldn't buy anything unless DH liked it. At times he really won't like my choice and I will choose something else. Other times he makes decisions and shops as well.

The biggest problem is art, especially maritime art. We have three pictures waiting to be found space and one, I am quietly trying to 'lose'

Hetty58 Mon 09-Dec-19 00:17:16

Oh dear, just realised I've always just bought things without consulting anyone else - all my life - both marriages, kids, friends, lodger have never had any input at all. It's very simple that way!

cornergran Mon 09-Dec-19 00:31:24

Mr C likes to come shopping. We wander, have coffee, wander some more and over yet more coffee discuss what we’ve seen. He says he has no idea which item will work best, I explain my preferences and we agree on one. He will say if he truly dislikes something but is usually happy enough with my short list. He’s the easiest of men - as long as he has coffee smile.

MiniMoon Mon 09-Dec-19 00:58:58

My DH has always enjoyed shopping. I never have.
He has impeccable taste, and I trust his judgement.
When we moved here he chose the colour of the decor and all the curtains. I chose the soft furnishings.
I like it like that.

BradfordLass72 Mon 09-Dec-19 02:50:49

As my grandson says, 'I'm the boss of me.' So no one cajoles or manipulates me into getting anything I don't like.

I've just bought some new curtains as the old ones were literally in ribbons and I felt quite ashamed.

It's taken me a while to save up but I got a half-price bargain at a local shop. Or was it that they were simply charging twice as much until sale time ? grin
Whatever, I like them.

BBbevan Mon 09-Dec-19 04:01:33

We both chose things like furnishings, wallpaper , paint etc together.
However we do need a new computer and at some point a new television. DH is 'researching' all possibilities !! This has been going on for at least six months. I have given up asking when we are actually going to buy something

paintingthetownred Mon 09-Dec-19 05:31:51

Sometimes I consult my DD as she is now 14 and has a good colour sense. Othewise as a single parent which I am - I'm in charge of all budgeting and household decisions like this. I'm so glad I don't need to navigate anyone 'approving'.

I do have a friend who is quite domesticated and enjoy shopping with them though as they are pretty good at hunting our bargains.

Sara65 Mon 09-Dec-19 06:21:11

Same as MOnica really, I choose, but always show him, occasionally he won’t be keen, but I think he trusts my judgment. If he’s really not keen, I won’t buy it.

Beechnut Mon 09-Dec-19 06:50:13

The last two televisions have been down to me. DH would often choose things that took me out of my comfort zone for which I’m glad. He made me brave. The walls are colourful and it’s because he lived in a dark and nicotine stained house as a child.

Sillygrandma5GK Mon 09-Dec-19 06:54:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sara65 Mon 09-Dec-19 06:56:19

Televisions are a different thing!

I tend to hang on to them as long as possible, because I don’t want to have to choose a new one.

We are lucky in having a brilliant family owned business in a neighbouring village, we buy what they advise, and they deliver it and set everything up. But every time it seems more complicated!

kittylester Mon 09-Dec-19 07:01:24

We do it together. Although we often agree that my original choice was the right one.

Brunette10 Mon 09-Dec-19 07:22:26

Exactly the same Kitty smile

SpringyChicken Mon 09-Dec-19 07:43:32

We choose together, luckily our taste is similar.

On the rare occasions where we really can’t agree, we take in turns to choose.

It’s usually me who starts the ball rolling by mentioning it’s time to replace something. If it was down to H, we’d probably be in a 80’s time warp.

Are your husband’s objections to your choices valid? If not, it’s time assert yourself. Give and take on both sides.

Sara65 Mon 09-Dec-19 07:49:48

I’m a lot more daring than he would be, but I think he’s usually happy with the results.

Susan56 Mon 09-Dec-19 08:32:04

We choose together.Pretty much like cornergran,wander,coffee,shop,coffee,decide!

Greyduster Mon 09-Dec-19 08:32:54

We bought new curtains for our bedroom recently and looked at many, many. It’s usually a joint decision, but he defers to the fact that I have a “good eye” for these things. However, he was so very taken with a particular fabric that I didn’t care for that we bought them on the understanding that if we got them home and they didn’t suit the room, as long as they went back into the packaging properly, we could return them for a refund. In fact, they were lovely; a very good match for the paintwork. So much for my “good eye”. If I had said I really didn’t like them, he wouldn’t have argued. He knows how to pick his battles!

ayse Mon 09-Dec-19 08:38:20

I’ve always done most of the decor choosing, the kitchen choosing. Last time I bought a new hoover DH had his say but it hasn’t turned out too well!

I usually defer on car and fishing purchases as I have little interest in either.

I’d really like (in my dreams) someone who enjoyed choosing household stuff together but it is not to be.

sodapop Mon 09-Dec-19 08:43:07

Generally I choose but consult my husband and would not buy something if he really disliked it. I tend to look at the aesthetics of furniture etc but my husband will check it over and decide if its well made and fit for purpose. Works for us.
Our house is in the middle of the village and people pass close by so I have net curtains for privacy. My husband hates them with a vengeance..

janeainsworth Mon 09-Dec-19 08:58:43

Depends what it is. I had to insist on the cooker of my choice last year when we had to replace the previous one.

With things like curtains my technique is to present four or five options which I really like & which I’ve researched online. This is win-win as it means MrA doesn’t have to go shopping which he loathes, and I get something I like.

The killer is paint colour for walls. We go through a rigmarole which can take up to 3 months as we try out about 10 different taster pots in various lighting conditions before finally choosing one.
The last time we did this, after the process was almost exhausted, we happened to go to DD’s & decided we would have the very nice colour she had on her walls blush

dragonfly46 Mon 09-Dec-19 09:07:52

We do it together and sometimes we go with DH’s choice eg new sofas and sometimes mine eg new light fittings. I am very pleased with the result!

Gonegirl Mon 09-Dec-19 09:12:57

Who do you think chooses?! shock I do, of course.

annep1 Mon 09-Dec-19 09:29:57

Thanks everyone. I'll get back after appointment.....

BlueSapphire Mon 09-Dec-19 09:30:33

In my opinion my DH had far too much say at the beginning of our marriage about what we bought; it was never my choice and if DH didn't like it we didn't have it. (This was in things like choice of colours, styles, designs etc for furnishings, paint and so on.) But items like electricals we made joint decisions.

Gradually things changed so that we made more joint decisions about everything, and eventually it became about 75% my choice! I always gave him a few options, but he would then say "if you're happy, I'm happy".