Gransnet forums

Chat

Do you like yourself?

(72 Posts)
polomint Thu 15-Apr-21 15:12:10

I sometimes do and sometimes don't! I wish I had a different nature. I was an only child and I'm basically quite a shy person and don't push myself forward to speak to people. I wish I was more out going and confident. I like my own company and yet I like to be out but basically in the background. I like some bits about me but some bits I'd like to change. So would I like myself as a friend?
This lockdown certainly makes me more introspective. Hope fully when restrictions are lifted, I won't dwell on thses odd thoughts. It's not really a question I have asked my friends if they like me or not but we still meet up so I suppose they must. Either that, they just put up with me!

rite Thu 15-Apr-21 15:24:02

I'm sure your friends like you Polomint they wouldn't meet up with you if they didn't! and I'm sure you make a lovely friend. Most people have days when they think odd thoughts especially in the middle of a pandemic! Have a cup of tea and a biscuit, think nice thoughts and look forward to when we can get back to some sort of normality. And yes, I do like myself most of the time!!!

polomint Thu 15-Apr-21 15:31:32

Thanks rite, I do like myself if that doesn't sound too big headed! I'm sitting with cup of coffee in back garden just letting my thoughts wandering and enjoying the sunshine

GrannyTracey Thu 15-Apr-21 15:37:29

Wow I could be writing this, not you . I have asked a couple of friends separately & they both said they would never have known that I felt like that about myself & they always thought I was just as out going as them . I decided it is all in my head , my insecurities I deal with & now I am trying to be more positive. Yes I do like myself but I wish I was more out going by maybe I should just enjoy being me 💡be auto have friends that like me for whom I am .

Katyj Thu 15-Apr-21 15:41:28

You sound very like me polomint. I think being an only child has a lot to answer for. I was painfully shy as a child, I have become more confident as I gotten older but still not great. I wish I could laugh more easily.
To answer your question. I think I’m okay mostly ,I try to be a good friend, and have a few. Everyone is different and nobody is perfect. It would be very boring indeed. I’m sure your lovely.

Daisend1 Thu 15-Apr-21 15:59:46

Katyj
I too an 'only' with a mother who I learned in later life didn't want children and certainly not a girl. Tough'.
I worked hard to get on in my life, for my satisfaction, no other and the biggest kick in the teeth when having won an award she confronted me with 'your father would have been proud of you'
I with held my comment on that. I did my best for her in her later years, she wanted for nothing but know it was for duty and compassion but never love.

Grandmabatty Thu 15-Apr-21 16:01:04

I'm also sitting in the sunshine and having a cuppa. I am comfortable with who I am, most of the time. I know I have flaws and I do my best to deal with them and don't let them take over. So yes, I like me. I've brought up two great children,almost singlehanded. I've had a challenging and rewarding career. I have really good friends and family. I try to give them what they give me.

Kate1949 Thu 15-Apr-21 16:08:43

On the 'Are you a confident person' thread, I posted that I have no confidence or self esteem, which is true. I do however believe that I am a nice and decent person.

Blossoming Thu 15-Apr-21 16:09:46

Most of the time 😊

AGAA4 Thu 15-Apr-21 16:11:01

I have become comfortable with myself. I like myself most of the time and have accepted the things I am not so happy with like being a bit lazy.

Artaylar Thu 15-Apr-21 16:16:59

I went through a hideous period of self hatred in my early adulthood. Fortunately it didnt last.

I know now that I'm the usual human rag bag of strengths and weaknesses, virtues and vices, and that is ok.

Acceptance is the key thing, and a bit of self compassion helps as well.

Try not to beat yourself up Polomint. And I'm sure your friends think the world of you flowers

Aveline Thu 15-Apr-21 16:19:15

I am confident but also suspect that I must be pretty annoying. I know I'm lucky with my friends and family who put up with me.

Redhead56 Thu 15-Apr-21 16:21:18

My family and friends think I am kind generous considerate and loyal and I like that. I don't judge a book by it's cover I treat people as I find them. I am rather impatient can be bad tempered and opinionated. People know were they stand with me sometimes it's not well received. I don't suffer fools and if someone upsets me they know by my reaction.
I can be quite loud but I blame my hearing for that. I do not like being told what to do. I have been described as a leader not one that is led that suits me fine. Do I like myself? it all depends on what mood I am in! Polomint you sound like a nice placid easy going person.

AGAA4 Thu 15-Apr-21 16:23:35

You sound like a great friend to have Redhead.

Nanna58 Thu 15-Apr-21 16:26:07

No , I don’t like myself. I used to , but since dealing with my husbands Alzheimer’s and my mother’s dementia I seem to be just an irritable,miserable and bitter version of the person I used to be .
Hopefully one day I might get the ‘ old me ‘ back.

Berylsgranny Thu 15-Apr-21 16:57:57

Redhead56 - sounds very like me. I try very hard to be nice to all, however if someone upsets me, yes, they know about it. I like to be treated as I treat others. I also like to tell the truth, or what's the point. If you 'pussyfoot' around people and let them think you like/agree with everything you are not being true either to yourself or letting others know the real you. I never hurt anyone intentionally but I do not like being made a fool of taken a loan of either. I am quite shy and quiet in large crowds and do take a step back and sit quietly and this of course can be misconstrued as being 'odd/strange'. I can't help that, it's me. I always try my best. However because I have said what I'm thinking - how I'm feeling I have lost people I thought were friends and do miss them. confused

Redhead56 Thu 15-Apr-21 16:59:56

Nanna58 I have been in a similar position it's soul destroying but you will get your mojo back.💐

sodapop Thu 15-Apr-21 17:06:29

I was an only child as well but I am confident and outgoing but tend to be selfish. My husband says I never had to share anything as he did as one of five children. I share many of the traits Redhead describes but I have mellowed with age my family says.

That's hard Nanna58 I'm sure others don't see you as you see yourself. You sound a caring person who has had a big load to shoulder. Take care of yourself thanks

Redhead56 Thu 15-Apr-21 17:06:51

Berylsgranny yes I have to be truthful I don't go out to upset people the few so called friends I dropped were selfish and I finally saw through them as users. My few best friends know me and have done nearly forty years and more.

Berylsgranny Thu 15-Apr-21 17:17:37

Redhead - I am the same I have really good friends and have done for a long time too. However I find it difficult to understand people who are 'users' as you say as I don't understand why people want to upset others and always trust them, that's when I get hurt. sad

Polarbear2 Thu 15-Apr-21 17:23:48

You sound a bit like me. Maybe it’s being an only child? I was once told by a handwriting expert I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert. A good friend said it was very true. I’m confident on the surface, and in recent years the ‘surface’ has deepened a bit, but inside I’m quite insecure. A typical crab 😉

M0nica Thu 15-Apr-21 17:31:51

I have always been quite content with who I am. It has got nothing to do with whether people like me or not or of counting how many friends I have. I am content with myself.

I realised when I was quite young that I was considered a bit of an oddity, by both adults and other children. As it never occurred to me to try and conform, I never quite understood other children anyway, I decided to be true to myself and let the world go hang.

I have always had friends, not many, but longstanding ones. I have friends through shared interests and I attracetd male attention. I had very few boyfriends because I could not be bothered with men who bored me. I have been happliy married for over 50 years.

DD is a chip off the old block, she thinks I am very odd and I admire and love her singularity.

polomint Thu 15-Apr-21 17:32:14

A typical crab polarbear2. I suspect your star sign is cancer then? Hard shell outside but soft underneath, like my daughter. I'm a libra, can always see two sides of the story and give people the benefit of the doubt. Can't make up my mind on numerous things as I always see the plusses and negatives if anything. So frustrating at times

grandmajet Thu 15-Apr-21 17:34:51

polomint, I feel for you, our minds are strange places and at the moment I think we have way too much time for introspection.
I’m sure your friends like you, why would they see you if they didn’t? We are who we are, and we all make up the fascinating tapestry of human beings. Mostly I think I’m o.k. but sometimes I wonder why anyone would like me! I believe it’s what you do that is ultimately important, rather than what you think.

Kim19 Fri 16-Apr-21 04:12:26

I think I'm okay. I like me but I realise in general that life has been kind to me. Only one major crisis in all these years. I have only a few friends but that is fine because, as I tell them, they're quality rubbish! My sons are currently doing well in their very different spheres and that is a huge source of pride, contentment and relief for me. I'm fiercely loyal to the few and I aspire to be kind and thoughtful in general. I really fall short in any arena of aggression (yes even on here) and simply make myself scare in those circumstances. I've nothing to prove in these golden years of my life and just soldier on in a pretty happy furrow. I'm physically alone but not lonely. Lucky me......