To think I am kidding myself about moving while working

Didn't want to read and run, but not sure what advice to give except maybe show your husband what you have written here? I hope writing it down has been cathartic for you, and I hope wiser people than me will be along soon.

It will all be fine once you settle into your new routine. I was a single mum for years (widowed), and managed it, with two children at different schools, I worked full time, an hour from home. My son went to pre and after school club and I dropped him off, then picked him up on the way home. My daughter caught a school bus. It’s tiring, but you’ll manage I’m sure, just get your back up plans in place for if your child is ill, and for holidays from school.

I used to work in a similar situation to you, with a forty-five minute journey to work in heavy traffic on the outskirts of Birmingham. Once I had got used to the journey I actually enjoyed it; having two young children it was forty-five minutes to myself, able to listen to the radio, plan my day, think about whatever without interruption. It provided a barrier between home and work, and I left each behind when I arrived at my destination. I didn't realise quite how much until I worked in a school which was literally at the bottom of my garden, and I felt I never left work behind.
I am not sure if you have already started your commute; if not, practise driving the route so you are prepared for delays hold-ups, and alternative routes, and allow yourself sufficient time to get there. It does seem unfair to make you go in on your day off for covid testing, and I think you should ask to fit it round your working hours, but I know that is not always possible.
I hope you enjoy your move, and cope with the journey; I am sure you will.

You must have seen benefits in the move so try to enjoy that aspect.
I moved further away from my place of work once - which doubled my travel time. Eventually I did get a new job but it wasn’t because of the distance as I found the “unwinding” and “thinking” time that the journey allowed became a sort-of “me time”. I missed this period which separated my home life from my work life when I got a job in my own town.

I think you are feeling worse because of the extra trip into work just for testing. Is it possible to arrange to do this yourself? Or maybe they would trust a local GP surgery to do it by arrangement?

Whilst you are keeping an eye open for something new, try not to compare your old life with this new one. Try to find positives in the new life and you will feel happier.

Remember your reasons for moving!
Good luck!

Similar thoughts eazybee - cross posted. Apologies.

I’ve done it, working full time, 30 minute journey, I left pearlier so children went to a friends for half an hour either end of the school day. I agree with trying to change Covid testing to so where more local, or if it’s a twice a week test, changing your day off. That you enjoy your job is important, good luck.

Is it possible for your husband to take over the school run at least a couple of days a week?
You might just be projecting all your anxieties and stress of this new lifestyle onto the drive. Once you have settled into the new routine it wont be so scary. Use it as a 'me time' as suggested.
The idea of getting your test local if possible is a good one too.

I think it's early days. Welsh Thing - take it day by day, it's only because it's all so new. Do some dry runs on your day off, slowly. Pity your husband doesn't understand. However, what have you told him. Don't say you're panicking, just say can he help you with collecting your son for a while until you get used to the new regime. You seem to have a lot to fit into the day. Don't change your job, it's a must do job. What does your husband do? Slow down, try to do down time when you're driving, instead of working yourself up. All changes are difficult so changing jobs etc will make it harder. Good luck. Take it slowly.

I used to have a 50 minute journey each way between home and work, and as others have said this time is very useful. Time to plan, wind down or just listen to the radio. For a number of years I also car shared with a colleague who I picked up on my way, the time spent talking things through about our jobs, problem pupils was very cathartic. Admittedly I didn’t have to take children to school as they were old enough to walk themselves but perhaps your husband or another parent could take your son. As for the COVID testing, I am sure it could be done at a centre near your home if you ask. Hope all goes well in your new job.

Yes the suggestion of local testing is worth looking up- or would they allow you to do the lateral flow tests, which can be done at home, even get them posted out to you? (Am surprised you aren't doing those anyway as we all have to as my sons in college- they tell all the household to do these twice a week.Not sure if schools have sent this info out though, as my DinL wasn't aware you can request them online, nor whole household needs to do them! ?

Maybe you can change your day off so you work on the covid test day? Hopefully frequent covid testing wont last forever

It may help you to relax about the journey and errands if you get a sat nav, programme in all the pickup/drop off points and put it on the voice mode that calms you the most i.e. male or female.

The voice feels like its your friend helping you to get to your destination safely. I find that it can be a great help even though I know the way. Hope this might help you.

And yes maybe your hubby could help with school run.

I agree with others that your Covid test should fit around your working hours. If it is mandatory and you are going in just for the test (and are not otherwise working that day) then I would expect both my time and mileage to be paid. I have done 40 minute to an hour commutes and it quickly becomes part of your day. I listened to the radio and that would help.

Could your husband do one of the school runs? Hopefully the covid testing wont go on forever could you do that closer to home?

Agree with other posters. See if your employer can change Covid test day.
Ask your DH whether he can do school run some days. Maybe you could even pay someone to drop off or collect your son in the short term to give you some time to adjust.
Investigate public transport or a quieter route if the driving itself is stressful.
Try to explain to your DH that, at the moment,"I told you so" is hurtful/ not helping and that if he could help you investigate ways to change things that could reduce your stress that would be really supportive. It might be a change of job in the future - but only something that you really want to do, including staying in health care if that's what you want.
As others have said, a longer commute can give you thinking time to yourself if you can see the positive side of it.
I did have a long commute for a while and got used to it reasonably quickly.

Always use satnav as this will help take pressure of drive off your mind. Even if parts are short uses it. I find satnav helps a lot.

If a job move ok otherwise add on to house existing

Maybe you have just become anxious about driving itself? I sympathise with you. It can be very stressful, and not at all enjoyable. I agree with the idea of trying out the route beforehand, maybe with someone else alongside?

Wow! Stop! You are getting yourself into an awful tizz. Firstly 40 mins is not that long. Is it an easy drive and can you park at work for free? Secondly don’t ask your husband it’s your life and if you don’t want to work with him don’t. How old is your son ., can he come home on his own? You don’t have to do errands every day and finally do you have to go in for a COVID test on your day off. Change day? Do one at home, write all this down... think about it and it could all work out!

I hope you're claiming travelling time and mileage for going in to work to undertake a Covid test on your day off?

I did a an hours commute for many years and you just get used to it. I used to get talking books from the library to listen to and I even got a set of language CD's - you can learn a lot in an hour to yourself! The only real downside was that much of my journey was on the M25 so if there was a traffic jam, it could be really bad and take ages to get through ! Hopefully you will not have that to contend with!

Whilst you are keeping an eye open for something new, try not to compare your old life with this new one. Try to find positives in the new life and you will feel happier.

thank you for this NotSpaghetti.. applies to me certainly, not job move, or move... just adjusting to change in circs.

Surely you can do your COVID testing at home now you certainly shouldn’t have to go into work on yr day off. My friend tests herself twice a week from home and she works for the NHS.