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Hug or not to hug

(55 Posts)
overthehill Sun 09-May-21 10:05:44

One thing the pandemic has freed me from, is having to hug odd people from, friends, neighbours even strangers who happen to be friends of friends.
We can't do it now, but a hand shake was always good enough for me.
Hugging for me is reserved for hubs, children and grandchildren, no one else.

Galaxy Sun 09-May-21 10:09:13

Dont do anything you arent comfortable with.

silverlining48 Sun 09-May-21 10:18:29

I havnt missed the hugging habit, have never been comfortable with hugging those whom I hardly know, but if my dh hugs one partner first I can’t avoid the inevitable hug with the husband. Would really rather not.
On the other hand good friends and family is quite another matter. I love a good hug, just not with all and sundry and hope things change post Covid.

ExD Sun 09-May-21 10:19:53

I agree 100%

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 10:20:51

I’m so happy that I don’t have to hug or do that kissy, kissy thing anymore. I always hated it but people hug you even when you don’t reciprocate and short of shoving them away it’s hard to know what to do about it.

I stopped going to church when they introduced that awful “exchange a sign of peace”. I might venture in again if I don’t have to grapple with people.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 09-May-21 10:25:13

I have really missed hugging my close friends, especially if they are upset.

timetogo2016 Sun 09-May-21 10:26:55

I was bought up giving hugs,i do it,my family do it,my friends do it,even the family pets come for a hug and we hug them back,and funnily enough we have all missed it.
Theres no right or wrong,it`s up to the individual.

Sara1954 Sun 09-May-21 10:28:18

I too agree 100%
I have an elderly neighbor who always tries to kiss me, WHY? I hardly know him, and if I did, I wouldn’t want to be kissed by him.
It’s been very pleasant.

Lollin Sun 09-May-21 10:31:16

No hug , except for family and close friends who might need a hug at times.
Preferred a handshake and felt hugs had become really meaningless.

Deedaa Sun 09-May-21 10:32:35

Peasblossom some years ago we were in a little village church in Italy on Easter Sunday. When they all turned to shake hands with their neighbours it was lovely to find ourselves included even if they couldn't talk to us.

I've got a couple of old friends that I hug but as a family we've never hugged and kissed. Obviously the grandsons get hugged all the time - especially the 14 year old because it annoys him!

nanaK54 Sun 09-May-21 10:32:36

Oh dear, I am the odd one out, I like a hug.

Gannygangan Sun 09-May-21 10:33:40

I'm not a hugger.

Unless it's my dogs.

Kate1949 Sun 09-May-21 10:40:43

How I agree with you overthehill. I absolutely hate it, apart from family. I find it cringeworthy. I have never felt the need to hug friends or acquaintances but have found myself going along with it. I was never hugged as a child so maybe that's it. It's great for people who like it but it's not for me.

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 10:40:43

I might manage a handshake Deeda 😬

It’s hard to explain why that physical intrusion into a spiritual experience feels so very wrong to me.

Galaxy Sun 09-May-21 10:40:43

It's interesting isnt it. A lot of us are obviously used to being hugged when we dont want to. That's not great really.

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 10:43:25

No the trouble with huggers is that they can’t believe that you don’t really, truly want a hug deep down. And that if they give you one you’ll see how enjoyable it is.

Like the friend who said to me “I know you don’t like hugs but I’m going to give you one anyway.”

And did 🙄

Sara1954 Sun 09-May-21 10:45:43

We’re so awkward about it aren’t we, not sure whether to hug or not, it always feels really forced, arms up at the wrong time, face turned the wrong way.
All so embarrassing.

Calendargirl Sun 09-May-21 10:51:27

I hate hugging and kissing people I don’t know well. We never used to do it years ago. As a family growing up, we loved each other but were not demonstrative.

One good thing to come out of Covid is I am definitely not going back to the huggy, kissy, mwah mwah way of greeting others. I shall just hold out my hand, when allowed to do so.

eazybee Sun 09-May-21 10:53:09

Oh, I so agree.
Hugs are for family; as really close friends we never felt the need to hug each other to express our friendship.

ginny Sun 09-May-21 10:57:11

Hugs are lovely with my nearest and dearest friends and family.
Casual friends and acquaintances get a warm smile.
Can’t abide the silly 2 or 3 air kisses.

greenlady102 Sun 09-May-21 10:58:15

Calendargirl

I hate hugging and kissing people I don’t know well. We never used to do it years ago. As a family growing up, we loved each other but were not demonstrative.

One good thing to come out of Covid is I am definitely not going back to the huggy, kissy, mwah mwah way of greeting others. I shall just hold out my hand, when allowed to do so.

yes this absolutely. My worst hug EVER was someone who I barely knew who managed to wipe her armpit over my face when hugging.

Kate1949 Sun 09-May-21 11:01:29

I remember years ago thinking the French, Italians etc were very odd with all their kissing and hugging. Now we're all at it.
Recently I was hugged by a lovely man I know. I left make up all over his very expensive looking jacket. I was mortified. Another reason not to do it.

Gwenisgreat1 Sun 09-May-21 11:06:28

You have also echoed my thoughts Calendargirl. However i am delighted to get a hug from my DGS who has Down Syndrome.

Chestnut Sun 09-May-21 11:06:49

Hugs are wonderful things when it's family and close friends. I'm not keen to hug anyone else. I don't lean or move forward so they hopefully get the message.

nanna8 Sun 09-May-21 11:12:40

I’m a hugger. I love it and I hated that stupid elbow bumping they brought in over the lockdown time. You can’t beat a big hug and kisses on each side of the face. A lot do it here, especially those from continental Europe. You can sense when people don’t want it though and I wouldn’t force it on any of those sort of people.