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Conjoined twins

(53 Posts)
Urmstongran Fri 29-Mar-24 21:02:41

I know they are very rare but there’s a story and photographs in the Daily Mail today about a marriage between one twin and a man.

I found myself unable to read the full story. It really unsettled me as I found myself thinking if I were one I’d feel quite panicky. As if I’d like to run away. But they share the rest of one body. Just two heads. They look happy, are 34, smiling for wedding photo fully made up and pretty.

Still, I felt properly panicky thinking how life must be for them. What if they fall out and one irritates the hell out of the other? What if one needs sedation for a dental extraction? What does the other do? You’d have to go along with everything. And then my worst thought - what if one dies? What happens to the other one?

I will ruminate on this it has really bothered me.

Marg75 Fri 29-Mar-24 21:24:42

I saw this article online and like you I couldn't stop thinking about it and it's bothered me too. Also how they can both marry one man. Although they're most probably really lovely people, it's quite disturbing to think about all the different aspects of their lives. So many questions.

Deedaa Fri 29-Mar-24 21:31:14

In the past if one dies the other one dies. I don't think there's much anyone can do about it even now.

Primrose53 Fri 29-Mar-24 21:38:43

It made me feel a bit funny too but as they know nothing different I expect it feels quite usual.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Mar-24 21:51:32

I saw a programme years ago about such twins.
One was a country and western singer, whilst the other had no interest.

The original Siamese twins, Chang and Eng reached married, and they had around 17 children between them!

My "facts" may be a bit wrong, but I read about them as a child and have never forgotten it, as I was intrigued about them.

As it is, they would today be easily separated, but the knowledge wasn't around then

BlueBelle Fri 29-Mar-24 22:13:21

But it’s what they are used to so normal for them you are looking at it through your eyes not theirs and if they re happy whats for you to worry about They ve learnt how to manage their different life

I remember many many years ago reading a book about two Chinese men Siamese twins I think they were called something like Chang and Eng and it was in the 1800 s they married sisters and had 21 children

BlueBelle Fri 29-Mar-24 22:16:30

Haha I think we posted that nearly together missA

MissAdventure Fri 29-Mar-24 22:23:39

smile
Well, cobble both our answers together, and there must be a fact or two.

Yours sounds more like the real deal, though.

Callistemon21 Fri 29-Mar-24 22:30:31

I don't know what to think.

What happens if the other twin meets someone and wants to get married?

MissAdventure Fri 29-Mar-24 22:37:17

Well, presumably, whether the women see it as totally normal, or a pain in the arse, their situation must involve constant cooperation, all day and every day.

So I suppose another wedding will just involve more of the same.

Theexwife Fri 29-Mar-24 23:01:35

There was a series about their lives on BBCiplayer, I dont know if it is still airing ,it was every interesting,they have different personalities and abilities.

Dickens Sat 30-Mar-24 01:39:12

It unsettled me, too, URMS.

I suppose they all know each other very well, but the thought crossed my mind - what if the other twin finds after some time that she doesn't like her sister's husband and can't get on with him? That's when I felt a sense of 'panic' - how will she register her independence for the rest of her life?

I cannot even begin to imagine their lives together, but I've stopped thinking about it now because it feels intrusive and voyeuristic. On which matter, I think he's a very brave man because when they are out in public they will be stared at and comments will be made, judging by he way some people react to a unique disability ordinarily.

I just hope they all get on with each other and are happy. And that others allow them to be so.

grandMattie Sat 30-Mar-24 05:17:09

Very unsettling, urms. Quite agree.
Leave the mechanics of sex, the husband is marrying which one? How do they have privacy? And, should they become pregnant, which woman is the mother?
In Tenterten in Kent, there was a famous set of conjoined twins; the town symbol is of those women. When one died, it took the other several weeks to die, carrying her dead sister with her. Ugh!

BlueBelle Sat 30-Mar-24 06:15:55

But why on earth is anyone on here unsettled by it? It’s not our life. These two ladies have been joined since they were born they know no other way of life so to them this is their normal. They have worked out how to do many things over the years …go to the toilet together , have a bath, wash their hair, even get dressed what if one wants a blue dress and one a red one ? Look at menstruation problems they ve had to deal with. Medical problems and procedures Everything is done differently to how we can imagine but they’ve sorted it, they are 34 years old so have had plenty of time to work it all out

Why do we have to imagine what’s happening in their bed it’s nothing to do with us ( do we need to imagine what’s going on in the sex life of other people) they’re happy why would you feel unsettled about somebody elses happiness , it’s just not our business to imagine the ins and outs They have obviously worked out how to do so many things since birth and this is just another

Be truthful you’re all ‘unsettled’ because it involves SEX 🤣

BlueBelle Sat 30-Mar-24 06:21:52

I ve just had a look on line and they married 3 years ago so I reckon they ve worked it out by now 🤣

Marg75 Sat 30-Mar-24 07:34:45

I think that it's just human nature for us to think about the logistics of this because let's face it, a man has chosen to marry a woman who is conjoined to another with two arms, two legs and from the waist up is two people. Of course we're going to think and imagine how that works, it's not being voyeuristic at all. Maybe this thread has gone as far as it can go now.

BlueBelle Sat 30-Mar-24 07:49:55

I didn’t say you wouldn’t be curious or interested Marge that’s human nature
My answer was to the posters including yourself who were disturbed or unsettled and bothered by the story it’s not for us to be unsettled by two people having sex in whatever conditions they do it ! that was the part I was answering
Read about it with interest and curiosity but to be upset or bothered by it is not a normal reaction any more than getting hooked up about your own parents having passionate sex to make you !!!
Curious, interested, is normal bothered, upset, unsettled, is not

Galaxy Sat 30-Mar-24 08:12:35

I am not sure that's true. There are many relationships I am unsettled about, 40 year old men and 17 year old women for example. I am not comparing this situation with that but yes there are times when relationships unsettle me. It's not to do with being squeamish about sex.

Urmstongran Sat 30-Mar-24 08:26:25

BlueBelle

But why on earth is anyone on here unsettled by it? It’s not our life. These two ladies have been joined since they were born they know no other way of life so to them this is their normal. They have worked out how to do many things over the years …go to the toilet together , have a bath, wash their hair, even get dressed what if one wants a blue dress and one a red one ? Look at menstruation problems they ve had to deal with. Medical problems and procedures Everything is done differently to how we can imagine but they’ve sorted it, they are 34 years old so have had plenty of time to work it all out

Why do we have to imagine what’s happening in their bed it’s nothing to do with us ( do we need to imagine what’s going on in the sex life of other people) they’re happy why would you feel unsettled about somebody elses happiness , it’s just not our business to imagine the ins and outs They have obviously worked out how to do so many things since birth and this is just another

Be truthful you’re all ‘unsettled’ because it involves SEX 🤣

No. You don’t get it.
Nothing to do with sex. None of my business.
And yes I get all the ‘it’s all they’ve ever known’ etc.

This was about me. Understandably I’m projecting because it’s all ‘I’ve ever known’.

My feeling unsettled was about panic attacks. I had them years ago. Awful frightening things. I just felt looking at the picture if I had one of those heads (independent brain, heart, one arm, stomach but everything further down is shared - including ribs and spine) I’d feel trapped and internally and panicky want to run away and be separate - me - but knowing it would be impossible would induce my panic attack.

I’m not saying THEY don’t look happy. And good luck to them and very best wishes for the future from me.

But my gut feeling would be panic. Sorry.

Iam64 Sat 30-Mar-24 08:28:58

Galaxy

I am not sure that's true. There are many relationships I am unsettled about, 40 year old men and 17 year old women for example. I am not comparing this situation with that but yes there are times when relationships unsettle me. It's not to do with being squeamish about sex.

Thanks urmston for the OP. I felt uneasy reading about this and like Galaxy it’s not to do with being squeamish about sex.

lemsip Sat 30-Mar-24 08:38:06

www.gosh.nhs.uk/news/conjoined-twins-marieme-and-ndeye-feature-in-new-documentary/
A new documentary "Inseparable Sisters" tells the story of GOSH patients, Marieme and Ndeye as they celebrate their seventh birthday.

Marieme and Ndeye were born conjoined in Senegal in 2016 and were seven months old when they first visited Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children.

Their father Ibrahima had spoken to hospitals around the world and had asked the team at GOSH to help. He had originally hoped the girls may be able to separated.

Ibrahima and a huge team of medical experts at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children discussed at length the complex decision of whether or not to separate the girls. After many discussions, and input from a wide range of teams, it was decided their best option would be not to separate them.

At the time, the BBC followed the family and the GOSH clinicians, as they worked through this decision together, to make the documentary "The Conjoined Twins: An Impossible Decision".

Now, almost five years later, BBC Wales has worked with the family to capture their seventh birthday and what life is like for them living in Cardiff and attending mainstream school.

‘They love school – although maths is not their cup of tea’.

to be found now ob BBC iplayer.

sodapop Sat 30-Mar-24 08:42:32

Can't believe some of the comments on here. These ladies have learned to live with the restrictions their condition imposes on them and are having a as full and happy a life as they can. It's not for us to speculate about their life.
grandmattie I find your post quite unpleasant.

Smileless2012 Sat 30-Mar-24 08:44:52

Urmstongtan panic attacks are frightening aren't they and when you've had them in the past, they can be triggered by situations that have nothing to do with whatever caused them in the first place.

Marydoll Sat 30-Mar-24 08:55:46

Apart from this post, I won't be contributing to this thread.

Urmstongran Sat 30-Mar-24 09:19:37

You get it Smileless thank you. Yes, that’s the word I needed.
Triggering.
It’s about me, not them.