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Neighbour moving without telling me .

(9 Posts)
Esmay Sat 18-Jul-26 19:04:13

Sorting out my father's house and wondeting about a much needed extension - I sat down and browsed the house prices in my road .
It is as I thought his house must be the cheapest one - apart from the recluse's house next door which is indescribably shabby and depressing .

I don't actually want to move at the moment - I was just interested .

And there it was -
My next door neighbour's house up for sale and has been for several weeks
I had no idea .
I did wonder why the front garden was being weeded-I did it for a party last time .
And a lot of vacuuming ,which never happens occurred over a two day period .
I'm so sad .
We used to have such a great relationship-I know her entire extended family well .
Over the last three years she's distanced herself from me ever since she made a new best friend.
This friend is young ,attractive and well off and gives her lots of money and gifts in exchange for baby sitting and other things.
Since she's known her -she's changed radically .
Her children avoid me .

My father and I never stopped listening to her marital problems.
I bought her so many gifts of flowers and chocolates,bought plants and planted out her garden . I've actually worked hard on it .
There have been signs and I've ignored them. Never mind I thought she'll get over this latest mood .
She is incredibly moody and can be bad tempered .
But -
I thought that we were friends for life .

Now I feel like a gullible and utterly idiotic fool.

beachcomber76 Sat 18-Jul-26 19:33:17

There are always people in life who will use you while you're there and discard you when their interest drifts away. That's not you being a fool, you just trusted someone unreliable, you were conveniently close and useful.

I've done the same. A friend I'd known and visited regularly for 42 years did the same, didn't tell me, I noticed it for ages on line, then 'sold'. The sale fell through. She is still there, I often wonder if she would have told me her new address.

We've now drifted but that's ok. I thought we had a strong friendship, I was totally unaware of any problems between us.

Coincidently I think my neighbour is soon to be selling up too. I know I won't be told as we aren't close, just polite. And that's fine.

Shel1951 Sat 18-Jul-26 20:31:42

Its a good thing she's moving then, you might get nice neighbours to replace her, see it as a positive

Desdemona Sat 18-Jul-26 20:41:09

Neighbours can be an odd entity.

Fine if you get along but awful if things go pear shaped.

I think now that it is good to be on pleasant terms with a neighbour, take in the odd parcel, send a Christmas card etc - but anything more meaningful should be viewed with suspicion!

Esmay Sat 18-Jul-26 21:08:15

Thank you for your kind words.
I cried when I saw the advertisement for her house.It was a shock .

My father and I provided a constant counselling service .
Now he's passed -things have changed .
Maybe the neighbour preferred to talk to him .
I know that she has never been happy with her husband and though my father didn't say so he thought her demanding and unreasonable.
My neighbour had Covid about four years ago and I noticed some changes in her after that .
She lost several office jobs and is erratic at times .
I'm presuming that they are divorcing and that's the reason why she's selling her house.

Plevey08 Sat 18-Jul-26 21:54:03

That is very hurtful when someone you've helped and supported behaves like that. Irrational too. She clearly has some issues that she isn't managing. It shows the problems in her mind and not yours. You were kind and there for her ....sadly she hasn't learnt gratitude.

HeavenLeigh Sat 18-Jul-26 22:04:25

I’m sure you do feel hurt I would too after helping her and listening to her problems. Sadly she’s made a new friend and wants to move on with her life. You sound a lovely person and have a great heart. Hopefully the new neighbours are nice people and you form a friendship with those.

Wyllow3 Sat 18-Jul-26 22:05:34

I avoid close relationships with neighbours, once bitten etc. It's for the best. One side is a woman I knew we would enjoy the odd coffee - but tis for the best. The other side is a gossip so I maintain cordial always pleasant, but well drawn boundaries, she tried talking about the previous people in my house so I just changed the subject. thats the general tone down my road anyway. No one would refuse to help in a real emergency.

mumofmadboys Sat 18-Jul-26 22:09:59

No act of kindness is ever wasted Esmay.