My sister-in-law has suddenly got in touch on my late OH's would-have-been 80th birthday. None of us have heard from her since she came to his funeral 6 years ago.
My OH always had a bit of a distant relationship with his family, although they did keep in touch a bit. I used to try and encourage him to be in touch more but in the end decided it was his choice. We used to see them a couple of times a year maybe.
I have never found this lady easy and there have been things that she has done that we were not happy with, e.g. persuading her father (also my OH's father of course) to go and live with them abroad in one of their holiday lets, then getting him to pay large sums of money from his savings to get their homes renovations done. The whole thing was very weird because the two of them had never got on at all, so when we found out what was happening it felt very much as though he had been invited in order to provide the money they needed. [We only knew about the financial things after he died and I was sorting out his computer] This was further indicated by the fact that a couple of years after he moved there out of the blue one day she rang and said he was dying and she had arranged for him to return to UK and had organised transport for him to return to us!
So - he arrived on our doorstep. He was very definitely NOT dying and lived for many years. After a few months of this arrangement with my OH and he barely speaking, I made arrangements for him to return to his previous home town - found him accommodation and help, settled him in with everything he needed etc. - he lived there happily for many years.
When I last saw her at my OH's funeral she stood next to me at the grave and said, "Well, I don't know why he is being buried; I am going to be burned." I found that unnecessary and unpleasant at such a moment. She went back to her home abroad and I have heard nothing from her till the message today. She now lives in UK.
The better part of me would like to accept this as an olive branch; but mostly I do not feel well enough to open this can of worms and life is easier without having to deal with her.
She has sent this same message to all my children who do not know the whole story as I have not bad-mouthed her to them. But they know I do not have a close relationship with her and have not been in touch.
I feel inclined to just delete the message, but would in some ways feel bad about that. My life is difficult enough with my serious heart and other problems. I do not need her in my life.
What would you do?
British style conquers on this occasion.
