Christmas present for dil

Gifts for adults at Christmas? I couldn't care much for gifts but to have a huge family lunch with all the trimmings mixed with laughter, that's a priceless Christmas day spent!

Ask your son for his favourite picture of the two of them together. Get it put onto a canvas and gift it as a combined gift. When she hears that it was a photo he picked, she'll love it even more!!

Most have all they need for their home these days, and we have all got it wrong before buying clothes for others. I think the charity donation is the best idea, let others be spoilt as DIL has all she needs and dosnt even bother with your gift.

I think something like a voucher for afternoon tea or a meal or a spa treatment is the best bet. If you go for the tea/meal option the present will be for both of them anyway.

One of my children got me a Latrine in Nepal last Christmas www.toilettwinning.org/latrine/1/ a present of which I heartily approved.
My son didn’t want a birthday present this year, determined not to get any older, so I sent a cheque in his name to a charity which helps children with my grandson’s health problem. Everybody happy.

I would never buy something to wear for my daughter or SIL. Their tastes are so much different from mine. I think the theatre voucher is excellent as it gives them time out together.

Why do you think that the present is just from your son? I don't think joint presents from couples is unusual.
I think there are times when a generic gift, like a box of nice toiletries is acceptable. Most people like them and they will probably get used.

I’m not surprised most people give up. It is VERY difficult. For every bullseye there are dozens of ones. Yet I can’t give up. I too have v. Diff DIL. It’s part of the heaven and hell that is xmas. Good luck

I have bought Pub Tokens for people when I never know what to buy them....
The tokens come with a personalised message in the card, can be purchased in various denominations and are valid at hundreds of pubs/restaurants across the country from the simple pub meal to the posher venues.
If you are giving to a couple with children they could come with an offer to babysit so they can enjoy an evening out in the new year.
Often on the site they have discount offers which means you get more for your money.

I haven't bought for adults for years, there is no po int simply exchanging gifts for the sake of it. If people don't want or need anything just say that you have decided no gifts now. The world is in too much of a state for pointless consumerism.

She may be relieved.

Faced with the same dilemma I announced I was no longer buying material possessions for people. I give memberships for the Zoo or local organisations related to the recipients interests. Faced with someone who has everything I make a charity donation again related to their interests this year that includes a donkey and a beehive!!!!

We haven't exchanged Xmas presents for the adults in the family for a number of years. None of us needs anything and we appreciate how lucky we are to be able to say that. Children still get presents although at their request that is increasingly money so they can save up and put the money towards a larger item they want such as bike or scooter etc instead of ending up with a lot of things they don't want. Charities are drowning with unwanted toys after Xmas every year. Most of it ends up as landfill. A long way from the old jocks and socks at Xmas.

A friend is part of a very large family who all contribute money to a designated charity at Xmas. Each year the older members of the family take turns to nominate the charity for that year. Gift cards from Oxfam (or similar organisations ) for a designated benefit (you choose the amount) are also a great way to give a gift that benefits those who are less fortunate. I think a "voucher" for a service such as babysitting, gardening etc is also a great personal gift idea.
In Australia gift cards for a particular retailer or business are becoming less popular due to tight expiry dates and businesses closing down.

I do a token gesture gift with an IOU attached. This can be for a meal, an outing a course or anything of their choosing with a rough budget stated. The important inclusion is an EXPIRY date. This prompts usage which I like. They know for sure I would scrap the offer on expiry. Worked a treat so far and I think some of them now start planning in advance 'just in case'. Suits me very well and some interesting and impressive outings have taken place.

I bought my DIL a subscription to a magazine last year - a jewellery making one as she enjoys crafts but there are lots of different ones out there. My son and DIL bought me a subscription to The Spicery - it was great and kept us in anticipation every month. I lve making all the meals.

If she has everything why not get her a "virtual" gift from Oxfam? There are lots of things you can get with prices from inder £10.00 It benefits those who need it. We often buy these for my bil as he has loads of money and never appreciates what we buy him
Or get her a jigsaw!

Secret Santa (a very small amount of money makes it more of a fun challenge) and a charity gift matched to the recipient. For example a swarm of bees, a pair of goats, a cess pit .... then the recipient can make of that what they will. It's the thought that counts!

I only have a small family that I buy for, we tend to buy practical presents, this year my DD asked me what I wanted, my reply a toaster, mine has died.

I buy token presents for DD & her OH, chocolates which they especially like & gift of money.

My DM is almost 89, I visited recently & bought her a magnifying glass which she has wanted & left a card with money in it to open on Christmas Day.

DGSs much easier to buy for.

So glad I don't have to enter this minefield of buying.

No you are not Bah Humbug. Commercialism has knocked the joy out of Christmas, because its Christmas every day all year round! My husband I stopped buying gifts for each other years ago, as have most of my friends their partners. My son and his partner, who have everything they could possibly need, were shocked last christmas when my husband and I opened our "gifts" to each other.....there was nothing in the packages.....my point being we didn't need anything!! I give my son and his partner cash to do as they will with. We couldn't be happier.

Sometimes people have more money than time and would be very grateful for a "no xmas gifts" agreement. It would save them both shopping and having the stress of wondering where they are going to put one more item they would never have chosen for themselves. Try the suggestion?

I know you feel totally rejected and can understand why. Your dIL has no idea she is hurting you as in a little lovely bubble of her own. Why shouldn't she be? I'm afraid how much she spends or what she does with gifts you have given her is her business. Spare yourself the agony. Book a post Christmas lunch somewhere at a time suitable for all and pay for everything. That's their Christms presnt sorted and you get some pleasure. Should she be difficult with times ask for a time and date. Stop wasting your time, money and energy and someone unappreciative. You can't keep just giving energy and consideration infinitum.

We do a sort of secret Santa (except it's not secret) for our wider family gathering - my sisters and their DC and DGC We allocate each adult another adult, but make sure it's not parent/child or sibling and each couple are allocated a child, again making sure it's not parent/child. DH and I host a big family get together a week or so before Christmas and we have a riotous time with almost 40 of us packed in.
Although it can be a struggle knowing what to get I love getting presents for my DC and DGC, perhaps because they certainly don't have everything. I try to find a few things I can surprise them with I also like to get or contribute to something they want/need. Lat year we gave DS and almost DDiL money toward a new laptop that was much needed. This year my DD wants a contribution to a sort of chainsaw on a pole to make pruning their almond and olive trees a bit easier. Out youngest DS and his lovely girlfriend are going to Auatralia for 6 months just after Christmas so their presents were work visas - probably my most unusual present yet! They on the other hand really struggle buying for me as like many of us I'm at that stage where I really don't need anything, except having them round me at Christmas. Maybe some wine to cry into when they take off for Oz and my DD and family return to Spain

I would only expect one present from a couple, rather than a separate one from each of them - and this seems to be the norm among my friends & family - so don't be offended, she probably doesn't realise you're expecting two presents!

If there's nothing you think she needs, I'd go with the charity gift - they usually send a certificate saying what you have supported. The money saving expert link below is from last December but should give you some ideas:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/charity-gifts

To add an example to the above, for my 70th my sister & her partner gave me a framed certificate saying, "your toilet has been twinned" with a picture of a latrine & the lat & long of it. The certificate is now on display in my downstairs loo!

www.toilettwinning.org

What about a gift of seasonal flowers? A gift of bright red Cyclamen in a pot which can be put outside to flower in the garden or another pot (they'll come back year after year); supermarket red roses mixed with berries or holly, wrapped in brown paper and red & white string; think hand made - perhaps some Christmas tree decorations, scented soaps, lip balms - look on Folksy for some original gifts.

I think secret santa is a really good idea. As a family we do that for the adults, you only pay for one present for one adult. We used as on line app called Elfster, you do have to have everyone's e mail address to take part in it, then it generates the address of the person you buy for.
Of course we still buy for the children as usual.

Like others, in our family we do Secret Santa with a max spend of £20 for the adults. We open them all together and it's a lot of fun guessing who has bought what for whom. Some of them are jokey presents, some choose something off an amazon gift list. We buy for the children as usual. It makes present buying less stressful and less expensive. It is also a rule that the males myst buy their present on their own and that none of the allocations are from husband to wife or vice versa. If they want to buy an extra present for their spouse it's up to them.