Christmas present for dil

I'm in the same position. I'm going to give my son and DIL a voucher for their favourite restaurant and a " babysitting" voucher ( I'll babysit) for a night of their choice.

I do agree with your last sentence. However, if it’s usual to give her a present how about a massage, aromatherapy treatment, or similar at somewhere like Neals Yard, or a health club local to her, or similar type establishment. People who have everything often appreciate treats. You could also offer a special afternoon tea somewhere for both of them. Good luck with a decision.

Definitely go for something that involves time and not money - the babysitting while they go out is a great idea (unless that's something that you do regularly anyway). You get to spend time with the grandchildren and they get some adult time together. Win-win.

Offer to cook a meal for them, or to take their car through the car wash once a month.

Or (tongue in cheek here) offer to de-clutter her wardrobe, if she has so much!

Although, having read your post again, perhaps you're right - don't do anything. She obviously doesn't care.

Depending on your relationship, perhaps you could join her on one of her shopping sprees - tell her you want to buy yourself some shoes/a coat or dress and would like her advice. You could then pick up the bill for one of her purchases on the way, or pay for a coffee.

Could always try Secret Santa presents for the adults. Something silly that doesn’t cost much, could even set a price limit.

I have the same problem x 2 and one is even worse as they she will be here from NZ so can't carry much back. Does your DIL go to the hairdressers regularly or have her nails done? You could pay for the next visit (or 2 depending on budget). A spa day for her and a friend, afternoon tea in a nice restaurant perhaps? It's such a minefield. The last 4 years we've just sent money over to NZ so I've only had one to worry about and have asked for a list off my son for them all which helps. I have bought all the girls (DIL's and Gds) nice pj's - love new pjs for Christmas but doubt anyone will get them for me. There is one thing I've just discovered which is genius for tablet/phone users - it's a beanie bag for them. They're online so ordered 3 but loved mine so much I've ordered another 2 for other family members. If your DIL uses a tablet a lot that might be another idea.

We now do secret Santa and it works out well . We set a maximum amount of cash . ask everyone to suggest up to six things they may like on family what's ap. and then the person buying can choose something within thier budget . We keep it light hearted and fun ?

Why don't you ask her if there is anything she would like.

I think the idea of giving your son and DiL a joint present is a great one.

We also do adults secret santa set a price and all meet up to exchange gifts it turns into a lovely family afternoon.

Time or give them a joint gift, theatre tickets last year doesn't mean they can't be given again, or one of those passes to their local cinema or similar.
Most people I know split the gift buying. The men buy for their family and friends, the women for their family and friends. We choose gifts for our children/their children and partners together so we (try) not to over buy. It seems a bit unfair to accuse your dil of not buying you anything when the gift is chosen by your son and has a label saying its from both of them.

Christmas and our expectations of the season, don't let your feelings about your daughter in law spoil things. Has she got a favourite charity you could donate to for her then just give a token present. The secret Santa is a good idea and can be a lot of fun as tanith said.

I do not buy gifts for adults just the GC. We take the whole family out for Christmas lunch which gives everyone a day off from the kitchen.
I think a gift of babysitting or even dog walking are practical gifts which are helpful for busy families.

If there is someone you feel you need to find a gift for , but who has too much stuff already , do as I do : buy them a charity gift . Last year I bought my friend a donation to bat conservation which included a small furry bat to keep or put on the Xmas tree ! I honestly think it was the present she has enjoyed the most , and the bat is still there a year later !!

Agree with charity gift - buy something nominal like a box of Quality Street, and tape a card to the lid saying you have made a charity donation

how about a case of wine for both her and your son.you can get a case at a reasonable price from some of the wine clubs.Virgin,Giordano,Laithwaites ..and great deals at this time of the year

My DIL can be a really difficult person to get a gift for. At her 50th birthday I was hurt to hear her eldest daughter tell a group that her mom always just re-gifts gift cards.

My DDiL is hard to buy for too, not because she has everything, but more because she doesn't really go in for the "usual things".

I think she would be happier with a bale of hay for her beloved horse than a gold bracelet or perfume.

I would suggest the secret Santa idea with a set price. Makes things so much easier & fun.

In our family we stopped giving presents to adults last year. We all have everything we need. It has lifted a lot of stress and prevented the waste of unwanted gifts. Someone just has to be brave enough to suggest it - in our case it was one of my sons. Sighs of relief all round.

We still give presents to the children, of course.

Well done, Grandma70s - we stopped adult presents over 20 years ago and never regretted it. Gives us extra money to donate to charities. Around this time of year friends start worrying and stressing about presents but, as you say, it only needs someone to suggest it and it's a done deal! As a result we look forward to Christmas which consists of church service and then "eat, drink and be merry"!

We buy slippers for all the adult children, otherwise they would go without, as they deem it to be something they don't need. But they always have them on and DD1 is already dropping hints this year that she needs them.

We also buy each couple something from poundland that is funny , e.g DS was thinking of upgrading his car, so bought him a cardboard make your own car kit.

We also buy one thing for each of the DGC (6) and the cost for all of this has never been above £100 in total.

Christmas for us is a bit of fun, as we like to see them smile but it does not need to cost a lot.

Did they use the theatre tokens? If so, just make that your 'thing' that you give them every year. Who cares if you gave them that last year? Better to give something they will use. You can always give them a very small extra with the theatre tokens like a couple of Christmas scratch cards. Who knows? One of them could be a winner

My DIL and DS have repeatedly complained that they have "too much stuff" and wanted no more. DIL's mother and I offered to club together and join up both of their birthday and Christmas presents and pay for them to have a long weekend or short break in the Spring. We've done that for the past 2 years and it's worked very well for everyone. Easier to wrap too!