We performed this as a monologue at school. Swapped a few words around to suit and added a silly verse of two of our own.....
There Are No Lights on Our Christmas Tree
by Cyril Tawney
The time has come for festivity
For Christmas pudding and revelry
But as I passed a house the other night
I heard a little voice so clear and bright:
Chorus (repeated after each verse):
There are no lights on our Christmas tree
We must not spoil the televee (we said teeeeveee)
No party games, no mistletoe
Just whistle “Wenceslas” and out you go
Just once a year I become a square
I love to feel the tinsel in my hair
I love to sing the songs of days gone by
But dad and me we don't see eye to eye
The box of crackers from Uncle Alf
It lies unopened upon the shelf
Dad has forbid them but we're hoping he
Won't notice one more bang in “Laramie”
Some carol singers came to the door
I've never seen Dad so mad before
He grabbed the leader by the coat
And tried to ram his lantern down his throat.
The latest boy-friend of sister Bet
Was simply gasping for a cigarette
He looked a proper case I do declare
A-stringing matches down behind a chair.
When I grow up and become a man
There'll be no television in my plan
With laughter gay my house will ring
I never want to hear my children sing..........
