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Humourous reading or poem

(8 Posts)
Gagagran Mon 12-Nov-18 10:18:34

I am looking for a recitation- reading or poem - to perform at my choir Christmas party. I always do one but this year seem to have struck a blank in my search.

It needs to be funny or fairly "aah" but not too much so. (They can get a bit raucous when wine has been taken!)

Last year I did Stanley Holloway's Albert and the Lion and I have done Pam Ayres' poems in the past. I even did one about how the Christmas Tree got its fairy one year.

Any suggestions would be gratefully received especially if they have a seasonal theme.

trisher Mon 12-Nov-18 10:50:24

You could do the other Stamley Holloway one- Sam Small-

I had to Google it. I could only remember the verse that ends "Or it stays where it is on t'floor"
It should be read with a strong Yorkshire accent (sorry it's not Christmassy)

Pirate Mon 12-Nov-18 11:09:32

What about King John's Christmas by AA Milne? I have done it at parties before.

gillybob Mon 12-Nov-18 11:10:29

We performed this as a monologue at school. Swapped a few words around to suit and added a silly verse of two of our own.....

There Are No Lights on Our Christmas Tree

by Cyril Tawney

The time has come for festivity
For Christmas pudding and revelry
But as I passed a house the other night
I heard a little voice so clear and bright:

Chorus (repeated after each verse):
There are no lights on our Christmas tree
We must not spoil the televee (we said teeeeveee)
No party games, no mistletoe
Just whistle “Wenceslas” and out you go

Just once a year I become a square
I love to feel the tinsel in my hair
I love to sing the songs of days gone by
But dad and me we don't see eye to eye

The box of crackers from Uncle Alf
It lies unopened upon the shelf
Dad has forbid them but we're hoping he
Won't notice one more bang in “Laramie”

Some carol singers came to the door
I've never seen Dad so mad before
He grabbed the leader by the coat
And tried to ram his lantern down his throat.

The latest boy-friend of sister Bet
Was simply gasping for a cigarette
He looked a proper case I do declare
A-stringing matches down behind a chair.

When I grow up and become a man
There'll be no television in my plan
With laughter gay my house will ring
I never want to hear my children sing..........

trisher Mon 12-Nov-18 12:08:07

I've just looked at the site with Sam Small on. There are loads of monologues if you put Christmas in the search section there are lots. Some are very funny. I have to stop doing this. It takes up too much time! But it has given me a laugh this morning! So thanks.

Gagagran Mon 12-Nov-18 14:15:54

Thanks folks - I'll keep looking. Any other suggestions anyone?

Ashcombe Tue 13-Nov-18 08:00:34

Do you know this one?

It’s called Christmas Thank Yous by Mick Gowar.
A Google search should find it or follow this link:-
Hope that helps!

Gagagran Tue 13-Nov-18 20:13:28

Thanks Ashcombe - this is a new one to me. I have added it to the "possibles" It did make me smile!