Gransnet forums

Christmas

Advent Calendar For Those Who Are Dreading Christmas

(35 Posts)
allsortsofbags Mon 19-Nov-18 13:42:02

On a PM with a GNer I suggested an Advent Calendar for those who find Christmas difficult.

The idea is for us to write out special messages for ourselves either daily or in one go to be opened daily on the lead up to Christmas.

I know so many people who don't give themselves credit for managing life, the big things and the small things.

So if Christmas is difficult having something positive, that's real and personal (not some sugar coated generic fridge magnet) that we can give to ourselves as a daily gift it just might help a little.

The messages could be about anything but I thought along the lines of :

Happy times, things we are proud of ourselves for having managed, the name of a person we like or likes us, a new friend be that on-line or in person, helping someone (however small) how we were helped the list is endless really.

Some times we reflect on the difficulties, the hurt, the sadness and the trials of our lives but we often don't reflect on our achievements.

Sometimes just getting from one day to the next is an achievement.

I don't think this is original but I'm putting it out there anyway.

Who knows we may even be able to give positive peer feedback. I'm sure some of you are familiar with this.

Over to GNers.

allsortsofbags Sat 24-Nov-18 20:58:25

NannyCF wonderful idea.

As you say handwritten "thought" - nothing mind blowing.

I've been thinking about what I've done this year that I'm proud of and so for I'm coming up empty grin.

But I have written down a few "Happy" thoughts about events throughout the year so I'm pleased with the start I've made.

Need to get on with what I'm going with things to fill my Advent Calendar. There will be chocolates and may be a miniature bottles of something to keep the chill away grin

As you may have gathered I don't find the run up to Christmas all that jolly.

Good luck to all you GNers who are going to give yourselves some well deserved happy memories, self recognition, treats and special things. As the Ad says "because you're worth it."

NannyCF Sat 24-Nov-18 15:43:48

A local church is making a Mindfulness Christmas tree, each person visiting it is welcome to take a gift tag with a handwritten "thought" on the reverse - nothing mindblowing, just something like "make time for yourself".

Millie8 Thu 22-Nov-18 08:26:33

Thanks for your lovely idea Lizzy and it would make a great personal present for a loved one too.

GabriellaG Wed 21-Nov-18 20:43:16

1974cookie
What a cheesy prezzie.

MissAdventure Wed 21-Nov-18 20:30:09

And they say romance is dead.. smile

1974cookie Wed 21-Nov-18 20:12:13

My Partner bought me the creme de la creme of advent calendars this Year.....24 days of CHEESE !!!
Oh Yum.
tchsmile

GabriellaG Wed 21-Nov-18 19:23:35

I have a G&T candle (Waitrose last year) which I won in a raffle. Someone else will get it this year. G&T? Yuk.

Barmeyoldbat Wed 21-Nov-18 19:18:58

Quite fancy a gin and tonic with my chocolate

GabriellaG Wed 21-Nov-18 18:32:14

Another idea (for Christmas 2019) would to use an empty advent calendar that you already have, or buy one from eBay (plenty of empty ones being sold right now and after Xmas)
Fill it up during the year with things you like: pretty knickers, small hand cream, nail polish, a garden centre voucher. Fill one drawer with Green & Black miniature choc bars and others with a pair of earrings, a ring or bracelet. Some squares of clotted cream fudge would fit into a drawer, a new shade of lipstick...so many small 'luxuries which you would forget about during the year as you fill up the drawers. No peeking at the ones already filled. Close and forget.
Put the items in random drawers as and when you buy them and make a note of which drawers are filled but not what they contain, so it's more of a surprise when next Dec comes around.
I'm starting in January at the sales. One small item every couple of weeks.
Buying yourself a subscription for your favourite glossy magazine is good value if you look at the offers, which are sometimes around the £26-£29 mark for 12 months. Given that they are usually £3.80-£4.00 per issue, that's quite a saving.

SunnySusie Wed 21-Nov-18 16:47:45

Following on from the comment by allsortsofbags, has anyone done the online course called The Science of Happiness from edX in the US? They recommend keeping a gratitude journal to increase positivity and happiness. I have done it and it actually works! along with their other Three Good Things exercise. Lots more on the Greater Good web site and links below:

ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal#

ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things

greatergood.berkeley.edu/

lizzypopbottle Wed 21-Nov-18 16:12:57

Here's a photo

lizzypopbottle Wed 21-Nov-18 16:10:57

I bought a refillable advent calendar for my son (the one who lives here) a few years ago. It's made of cardboard and was in the January sale. It's in the shape of a house with 24 little drawers. There's loads of them about although some of the wooden ones are quite expensive. It would be easy to put a little message in with the chocolates.

Sheilasue Wed 21-Nov-18 15:55:35

I enjoy Christmas, when my son died 11 years ago for a few years I did dread it felt guilty to be enjoying Christmas knowing he had died in the most awful circumstances and especially as he loved Christmas too.
But my counsellor gave me good advice and said if your son enjoyed Christmas then make it a day that you come together with your family and remember all the things he loved about Christmas and include that in your day and we did and it made a difference.

allsortsofbags Wed 21-Nov-18 15:04:50

I'm loving the ideas here grin

Marmight Wed 21-Nov-18 14:37:59

I have an Advent 'calendar' with 24 small bottles of wine contained therein, courtesy Aldi. By the time Christmas comes I should be fairly blotto ?

newnanny Wed 21-Nov-18 13:31:10

GabriellaG I think your idea is a good one. Too often we don't indulge ourselves enough and just make do if we are alone when really we should be making the most of relaxing and pampering ourselves. Enjoying having control of TV remote so no having to watch a horrible James Bond, who always seems to be on over Christmas.

Urmstongran Wed 21-Nov-18 13:11:31

GabriellaG your Christmas ideas for people on their own sound fabulous. Spoiling oneself with personal indulgences. Lovely ideas for a relaxing day. ?

gillybob Wed 21-Nov-18 13:00:59

My DGC and I are composing an alternative to "The 12 days of Christmas" during our long journeys to/from school. We are having a giggle trying to remember all the things our true loves are giving to us.....

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me a nice cup of Yorkshire tea.....

Needless to say the DGC's were a bit more extravagant. grin

gillybob Wed 21-Nov-18 12:55:06

Who's this "Obe" when he/she is at home? Why would he/she choose to make some peoples Christmas difficult and some easy? That's not very nice is it ? wink

mabon1 Wed 21-Nov-18 12:49:08

Christmas is as easy or difficult as obe makes it.

GabriellaG Wed 21-Nov-18 12:38:47

I think that, if you're on your own this Christmas, book a massage for the 23rd or 24th and buy some luxe loungewear to wear all day. On Christmas Eve wrap up a box of fav chocs and prepare a tray of breakfast goodies, muesli, yogurt, fruit, croissants, coffee...whatever your fancy is. On Christmas morning, put on your favourite CD or radio station, have a leisurely bath with candles lit and luxury products, dress in your loungewear (there are gorgeous dressing gowns in M&S) put the coffee on and warm the croissants.
Bliss. Enjoy. grinflowers

Theoddbird Wed 21-Nov-18 12:34:44

Message plus room for a choccy

HootyMcOwlface Wed 21-Nov-18 12:06:19

A chocolate one would fulfill the same end for me - as long as it's not one of the cheap nasty ones grin

allsortsofbags Tue 20-Nov-18 21:57:39

Anything that puts a smile on your face, gives you something positive everyday is what I was thinking.

So if it's something from the past that made you happy, things you've done that made you proud, write it down, just think about it.

Or if it's something you can do on any given day that makes you happy, feel proud, have a sense of achievement that's good too.

It's about having something everyday to be happy about, proud about so whatever works.

But more than anything if it's something personal that makes some part of your day better, if it helps you feel good - Job Done grin

EllanVannin Tue 20-Nov-18 11:27:02

I love the santagames. I often play online solitaire and try and beat my own record of 2.49. Anything to keep the brain alert.
It's a good idea.