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Christmas

Advent Calendar For Those Who Are Dreading Christmas

(34 Posts)
allsortsofbags Mon 19-Nov-18 13:42:02

On a PM with a GNer I suggested an Advent Calendar for those who find Christmas difficult.

The idea is for us to write out special messages for ourselves either daily or in one go to be opened daily on the lead up to Christmas.

I know so many people who don't give themselves credit for managing life, the big things and the small things.

So if Christmas is difficult having something positive, that's real and personal (not some sugar coated generic fridge magnet) that we can give to ourselves as a daily gift it just might help a little.

The messages could be about anything but I thought along the lines of :

Happy times, things we are proud of ourselves for having managed, the name of a person we like or likes us, a new friend be that on-line or in person, helping someone (however small) how we were helped the list is endless really.

Some times we reflect on the difficulties, the hurt, the sadness and the trials of our lives but we often don't reflect on our achievements.

Sometimes just getting from one day to the next is an achievement.

I don't think this is original but I'm putting it out there anyway.

Who knows we may even be able to give positive peer feedback. I'm sure some of you are familiar with this.

Over to GNers.

yggdrasil Mon 19-Nov-18 17:05:50

I'd rather have one with chocolates smile

DoraMarr Mon 19-Nov-18 17:21:34

allsortsofbags what a good idea! Yes, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by “what ifs” and “if only”, especially at this time of year when every advert, every magazine, lots of TV programmes are showing us perfectly cooked turkeys served up to impeccably behaved children and smiling relatives, when many of us feel that we’re only just holdoing things together. Just reminding ourselves of the things we can do, the successes we have had and are having every day, can do a lot to improve our lives.

allsortsofbags Mon 19-Nov-18 18:43:19

yggdrasil Good idea, for any of us who like chocolates we could arrange that as well grin

In fact if we bought our own chocolates we'd be sure to get exactly what we like and if we feel like pushing the boat out so much the better smile

Sparklefizz Mon 19-Nov-18 20:37:40

allsortsofbags This is a terrific idea and thanks for posting about it. Although I have a lot of allergies and food intolerances, there is just one brand of 100% chocolate that doesn't make me ill, so I'm going to go for it - a positive daily message with a chunk of choc! Because I'm worth it grin blush

NfkDumpling Mon 19-Nov-18 20:43:14

152 days until Easter. The first door on the Easter Day calendar has a plain chocolate Brazil nut inside.

days.to/easter/2019

phoenix Mon 19-Nov-18 21:57:52

Or we could just try this?

www.santagames.net/calendar/index.htm

NfkDumpling Tue 20-Nov-18 07:09:13

No Brazil nuts?

allsortsofbags Tue 20-Nov-18 10:31:29

phoenix that's a great idea too.

Lovely suggestion, thanks for joining in and putting something forward :-) thanks

Anything that helps people who find the run up to Christmas as difficult as Christmas.

For me it was about finding ways to have something positive/ happy, anything to brighten the days.

More ideas very welcome.

EllanVannin Tue 20-Nov-18 11:27:02

I love the santagames. I often play online solitaire and try and beat my own record of 2.49. Anything to keep the brain alert.
It's a good idea.

allsortsofbags Tue 20-Nov-18 21:57:39

Anything that puts a smile on your face, gives you something positive everyday is what I was thinking.

So if it's something from the past that made you happy, things you've done that made you proud, write it down, just think about it.

Or if it's something you can do on any given day that makes you happy, feel proud, have a sense of achievement that's good too.

It's about having something everyday to be happy about, proud about so whatever works.

But more than anything if it's something personal that makes some part of your day better, if it helps you feel good - Job Done grin

HootyMcOwlface Wed 21-Nov-18 12:06:19

A chocolate one would fulfill the same end for me - as long as it's not one of the cheap nasty ones grin

Theoddbird Wed 21-Nov-18 12:34:44

Message plus room for a choccy

GabriellaG Wed 21-Nov-18 12:38:47

I think that, if you're on your own this Christmas, book a massage for the 23rd or 24th and buy some luxe loungewear to wear all day. On Christmas Eve wrap up a box of fav chocs and prepare a tray of breakfast goodies, muesli, yogurt, fruit, croissants, coffee...whatever your fancy is. On Christmas morning, put on your favourite CD or radio station, have a leisurely bath with candles lit and luxury products, dress in your loungewear (there are gorgeous dressing gowns in M&S) put the coffee on and warm the croissants.
Bliss. Enjoy. grinflowers

mabon1 Wed 21-Nov-18 12:49:08

Christmas is as easy or difficult as obe makes it.

gillybob Wed 21-Nov-18 12:55:06

Who's this "Obe" when he/she is at home? Why would he/she choose to make some peoples Christmas difficult and some easy? That's not very nice is it ? wink

gillybob Wed 21-Nov-18 13:00:59

My DGC and I are composing an alternative to "The 12 days of Christmas" during our long journeys to/from school. We are having a giggle trying to remember all the things our true loves are giving to us.....

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me a nice cup of Yorkshire tea.....

Needless to say the DGC's were a bit more extravagant. grin

Urmstongran Wed 21-Nov-18 13:11:31

GabriellaG your Christmas ideas for people on their own sound fabulous. Spoiling oneself with personal indulgences. Lovely ideas for a relaxing day. 🎄

newnanny Wed 21-Nov-18 13:31:10

GabriellaG I think your idea is a good one. Too often we don't indulge ourselves enough and just make do if we are alone when really we should be making the most of relaxing and pampering ourselves. Enjoying having control of TV remote so no having to watch a horrible James Bond, who always seems to be on over Christmas.

Marmight Wed 21-Nov-18 14:37:59

I have an Advent 'calendar' with 24 small bottles of wine contained therein, courtesy Aldi. By the time Christmas comes I should be fairly blotto 🍷

allsortsofbags Wed 21-Nov-18 15:04:50

I'm loving the ideas here grin

Sheilasue Wed 21-Nov-18 15:55:35

I enjoy Christmas, when my son died 11 years ago for a few years I did dread it felt guilty to be enjoying Christmas knowing he had died in the most awful circumstances and especially as he loved Christmas too.
But my counsellor gave me good advice and said if your son enjoyed Christmas then make it a day that you come together with your family and remember all the things he loved about Christmas and include that in your day and we did and it made a difference.

lizzypopbottle Wed 21-Nov-18 16:10:57

I bought a refillable advent calendar for my son (the one who lives here) a few years ago. It's made of cardboard and was in the January sale. It's in the shape of a house with 24 little drawers. There's loads of them about although some of the wooden ones are quite expensive. It would be easy to put a little message in with the chocolates.

lizzypopbottle Wed 21-Nov-18 16:12:57

Here's a photo

SunnySusie Wed 21-Nov-18 16:47:45

Following on from the comment by allsortsofbags, has anyone done the online course called The Science of Happiness from edX in the US? They recommend keeping a gratitude journal to increase positivity and happiness. I have done it and it actually works! along with their other Three Good Things exercise. Lots more on the Greater Good web site and links below:

ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal#

ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things

greatergood.berkeley.edu/