Unwanted present

I am still trying to use up the Youth Dew scent that my DS gave me for Christmas two or three years ago. I only wear it when I know I'll see him, though I don't think he'd notice the difference from the scents I actually like. I wouldn't dream of hurting his feelings by rejecting the gift.

There are ways of doing things and of course it depends on the relationship you have.

Giving a gift back is the height of rudeness.
I know how this feels as my Mother has done this too me on numerous occasions.
The last time was with a beautifully decorated homemade Christmas cake. When I next went to see her at Easter ( We live 200 miles apart & I don’t drive ) She gave me back the cake with a tiny slice missing claiming it was too rich for her & had upset her stomach, I was mortified.
I would rather her have dumped it in the bin or given it too a homeless person.
But that is the type of person she is.

In the example I gave my friend is a frequent visitor and it was obvious I wasn't using the candles.
I think if it is a good relationship you an say it in a very gentle way.
I could not spend the rest of my life pretending to like and use scented candles. Some of which are pricey and i hate waste. I gave all I had to another friend.

Maybe it is best to lie if the giver is either very old or lives far away.
And you can do it in a non offensive way.

Answering in general, not specific to OP's present:
Yes it is rude to return the present because you don't like it. Just donate it, give it to somebody who likes it, etc.

However (I can see some of you rolling your eyes : ) ), I can see why it might happen or not be well received
1. When present are passive aggressive jabs, such as a piece of clothing 3 sizes too big or small and the giver knows your size, a diet book for an overweight person, etc., a bottle of wine giver knows receiver hates but it is giver's favourites, etc.
2. A present giver was requested NOT to get. For example, the parents want to give the child a bike, giver knows it and gives that present to child.
3. Presents that one up the other person. For example, parents want to buy a certain toy for their child but the giver borrows that idea and buys the most expensive toy that can be found, stealing the thunder of the parents
4. Presents with strings attached- giver thinks receiver owes them something in exchange of the present
5. Present given with conditions: "this money is yours to go to college as long as your chosen major is X, Y or Z"
6. Presents with a purpose for the giver: how many men give lingerie to the women as presents, when the present is more for him than for her?
7. Receiver knows the giver gets mad if present is not used, giver keeps track of present: "I don't see the picture frame I gave you for your birthday, where have you put it?"

I understand those 7 examples are very rare but they do happen.

Unkind and rude.

I do always accept gifts from my daughter and grandchildren with love and always display. Always
But I don't see the point of money spent on a gift that isn't wanted.
Such waste.
Though one year a dear friend gave me a tin of toffees and I never ever eat Toffee but I did lie and say I loved them. I think it was because she is much older than me and I didn't want to disappoint her.

So it all depends really

What a horrible thing to do! Many unwanted gifts end up in charity shops.
I presume that this is one person who will be missing from your present list in future?

Just noticed this thread I posted last year has started up again. Since then the person concerned has died! Somehow put things in proportion for me!

But I would never return a present. Always say thanks so much and if appropriate wear it in front of the giver!!

I was brought up to believe that there is only one correct response when being given a present and that is to smile and say thank you.
If you don't like it then it's hard cheese. You re-gift or give it to charity tactfully. The cheek of some folks is unbelievable.

No I would not give it back, I’ve had things that have been given to me and I’ve given them to tombola stalls the following years., but I do have a close friend if she doesn’t like the things she’s given she passes them on as other presents to other ppl

Never! I have however had to learn to take negative feedback about presents as a family member is Aspie. They wouldn’t give me a present back, but would be blunt and say ‘I don’t like that brand of chocolates, we prefer......’.

If I am given a present I wouldn’t have chosen myself and it’s given with love, I will display or use it anyway.

I have a friend who kept giving me scented candles for presents. I can't burn them.....sets off severe Asthma.
In the end I had to tell her. I couldn't pretend any longer.
She was ok about it.
Now she gives me lovely choc or books. much more to my taste.

You could never be rude to a family member about a Christmas present. You may have not wanted that present, however you should be grateful they spent their hard-earned money on a present for you.

Perhaps the thread automatically restarts itself each year just prior to Christmas. ??

I wouldn’t dream of giving a present back. I always thank the giver no matter how awful the gift maybe. The i kettle we were given for last Xmas is stored on a high shelf in the kitchen and the disgusting glass plate in green and orange (2ft across) was used once when the giver came for dinner and then went to the charity shop. Fortunately, they don’t visit our charity shops.

Thanks Cherrytree

Oh yes!

Heads up, this thread is almost a year old (2018)

Beyond belief! I can’t believe anyone would do such a thing!

Where is the harm in writing a nice Thankyou note, and popping it down to the charity shop.

What an awful person.

I'd probably cry if someone gave me back a gift that they didn't like

How shockingly rude! If anyone, except DH, did that to me, I would just cross them off my Christmas shopping list.

I make an exception of my better half because I like giving him presents. Once or twice, when I wasn't sure it was what he would like, I told him before he opened the present that I was a bit doubtful about it, and that it could be exchanged and that I would not be hurt if he did.

Like most wives, I have had quite a few presents from DH that weren't exactly what I wanted, or felt I needed, but I have always tried to hide that from him, as I really do appreciate him going to the trouble to buy me presents.

Other presents that we receive and don't feel we want or like, we either exchange in the shop where they were bought, or give to charity.

Having seen my mother's embarrassment when something she re-gifted was opened in the presence of the person who had given her it (ouch!), I have never practised that form of economy myself.

Shh, don't tell, but Mr P bought me a smart phone, I have managed without one for about 2 years, and could have managed without one for longer
I must say that it depends who it is, Urmstongran as Mr C did the same as Mr Phoenix and I wanted to choose my own phone.
I wouldn't do it to anyone else though (and he's not letting me forget it either!).

Your friend was rude.

I usually give a gift receipt with presents I send so the recipient can quietly exchange them if they wish to do this.

I have occasionally given things I can't use to charity or re-gifted them if I think somebody else might like them but I usually like what people buy me.

I think that person is very rude and ungrateful. Next year...don't bother!