Gransnet forums


Unwanted present

(61 Posts)
Madgran77 Wed 26-Dec-18 17:28:19

If you were given a present that you didn't want would you send it back to the giver? That has happened to me, informing me that the person doesn't like it. Wondering what others think ...I'm feeling a bit taken aback, as I genuinely thought the item would be a treat for the person I gave it to.

mumofmadboys Wed 26-Dec-18 17:30:16

It is very rude but I would just let it pass and next time you see them just say sorry you weren't keen on my present.

EllanVannin Wed 26-Dec-18 17:32:05

No way would I send it back. I'd accept with good grace as I always do.
There really are some ill-mannered people around.

Grannyknot Wed 26-Dec-18 17:32:20


A gift is to be received with grace and appreciation.

If I'm given something I don't like, I might re-gift it, but I'd never rudely return it to the giver, especially with a comment like that.

phoenix Wed 26-Dec-18 17:38:01

Shh, don't tell, but Mr P bought me a smart phone, I have managed without one for about 2 years, and could have managed without one for longer................

I will struggle to use the minimum amount each month, as I use the tablet that he bought me for my birthday for everything except phone calls. tchblush

Grammaretto Wed 26-Dec-18 17:40:52

TBH I was quite pleased my DD said she really didn't want or need the gift I had bought. I hope to return it tomorrow and get my money back or exchange it for something else. If she can tell me this, I know I can trust her to tell me when I get it right.
You have to know someone well. I wouldn't reject a gift from an acquaintance.

nigglynellie Wed 26-Dec-18 17:44:36

I just thank the giver very much, say how lovely/useful/attractive, (whatever), the gift is, and leave it at that. I might well re-give it elsewhere, but I would never ever be so rude as to say I didn't like a gift, obviously chosen with me in mind, however much I didn't like it!!

hillwalker70 Wed 26-Dec-18 17:51:55

Well how about someone who returned all gifts given fully wrapped and on Christmas Eve, a poke in the eye from a friend if ever there was one, not me but a close friend, she is upset.

BlueBelle Wed 26-Dec-18 18:16:48

I would NEVER ever give a gift back I would accept it with thanks as it’s the thought not the object that is the important part
I had it happen to me once and I was mortified

ginny Wed 26-Dec-18 18:22:58

Extremely rude behaviour. Don’t bother to buy anything next year.

Madgran77 Wed 26-Dec-18 18:41:07

Thanks all!! Not just me who is a bit taken aback then!

H1954 Wed 26-Dec-18 20:18:17

Nooooooo! Never, ever give a present back!!!!!! That is so hurtful, ungrateful and rude! Don't get me wrong, I get more pleasure from giving a gift than receiving one but in our family circle we consult about gifts for the GC etc so the chances of getting it wrong are very very slim. And I agree with Ginny, don't buy next year. Whilst I stated that I don't not buy a gift to receive a gift, what I do like is to get an acknowledgement and a thank you for my gift; I made a beautiful gift for an old friend last year who I had not seen for me years but we were back in touch and I thought it would be a lovely gesture. I didn't get an acknowledgement for nearly two months and even then not a thank you! Didn't bother this year. Manners cost nothing!

H1954 Wed 26-Dec-18 20:19:21

Oops, Not seen for SOME years!

lemongrove Wed 26-Dec-18 20:21:01

Madg... it’s the height of rudeness to do that, always!
I would be taken aback too.

labazs1964 Fri 28-Dec-18 18:08:07

very rude thoughtless and height of bad manners

Izabella Fri 28-Dec-18 18:13:24

Interestingly our grandson dismissed some gifts until he found something more to his liking. He was NOT corrected, then or since 😬

notanan2 Fri 28-Dec-18 20:40:35

NOOOO I find a good home for it elsewhere if I wont use it but I never say so!

Madgran77 Fri 28-Dec-18 21:05:33

I agree notanan. It has never happened to me before!

Lynne59 Fri 28-Dec-18 21:38:21

My brother is a bit rude like that. On his 70th birthday, I spent about £80 on a gift for him - he didn't open it until the following day, and then said he'd never use it - so I took it back!

Today, he asked me if I'd like a book he doesn't want - one his son bought him for Christmas. I got my brother and his wife a voucher to use in a nice restaurant in town. He said he wouldn't want to go, but perhaps I could go, with his wife. CLOWN.

PhiPhisnana Fri 28-Dec-18 22:45:18

I wouldn’t ever do that unless someone had the receipt and it was an issue around size (thinking slippers/clothes etc). If it was anything else I would accept it with grace. Keep it for a while and then donate it to a worthy charity shop.

GrandmaKT Fri 28-Dec-18 22:59:48

My Dil has rejected several gifts over the years, both for herself and the GC. I suppose I wouldn't want her to just put things away and not use them, but it did come as a bit of a shock when we first got to know her when she'd say "Thank you, but I won't be using/wearing/keeping it"!
My elderly father, who doesn't have much money, but is very kind, always sends her a little something for Christmas (usually a little piece of costume jewellery), and she tosses it straight in the bin!
I suppose it's good to be truthful, but it does hurt.

M0nica Fri 28-Dec-18 23:44:18

Ill-mannered and rude. Do not buy for them again and if she sends you anything next year send it back.

And GrandmaKT I think your DD;s behaviour is unacceptable as well. Especially the way she treats the gifts her grandfather sends her. She should keep thm a year or two and then give them to charity. If they are just small pieces of costume jewellery they will not take up much space. A charity shopw ill always be glad to have the gifts as donations.

arosebyanyothername Fri 28-Dec-18 23:45:45

That’s awful! I might possibly ask if they still had the receipt if it was something the wrong size but otherwise smile and say thank you.

Melanieeastanglia Fri 28-Dec-18 23:50:57

I would not rudely return a gift. If it didn't fit, I might politely ask if it was possible to exchange it.

When I give people presents, I enclose a gift receeipt. No embarrassment if you do this.

Mapleleaf Sat 29-Dec-18 14:37:04

I can't believe the bad manners of some people!
Accept gratefully, say nothing. Why hurt someone's feelings?
An unwanted gift can always be donated to a charity at a later date, but you should never, ever upset someone and throw their kindness back in their face.