I think I’ll be alone this Christmas and can’t help feeling sad

Nightswimmer

Love your attitude!!

Liz46, bang on the money! I to do my best to get as far away from Christmas as possible. The grandparents from the other side seem to enjoy all that kind of stuff so only too pleased to let them get on with it.

Damn and blast Christmas. Here we are, not even got to Wimbledon yet and b****y Xmas is causing problems. Why on earth do we go through this every single year?? I'm not even going to comment on the OP. Suffice it to say that there will be very many elderly people who are lonely at Xmas, whose families live probably many miles away.

I think your son sounds wonderful, I don’t think you realise how lucky you are. Popping around on Christmas Day, when they’re going to be with you on Boxing Day, sounds a bit unnecessary to me, if I was his wife, I think I may be a bit irritated by that!

So what effect would it have had on your marriage if your mother-in-law had insisted on seeing your husband on his own every Christmas day for the whole of the day? "little selfish" doesn't come close. You live near them, you'll be seeing your son on the day, you'll be seeing all of them during the season (or at least that is the plan - I can't see it happening if you carry on with this attitude.) Is there a reason you don't spend time with your sister? Does she have arrangements in place or has she been all alone while you've been spending time with your son? I would be really interested to know your personal definition of the word "fair" - it obviously has nothing to do with accepted usage.

Oh Liz, then she will miss out on seeing her new grandchild for the whole of xmas not just for xmas day. I think her xmas is going to be just perfect - a quick visit on xmas day - which could be to her and her sister (their aunty) if the two spent it together. then the whole of boxing day with the new little family. It just feels a little bit strange for now, that's all. I am sure it will turn out really lovely and by next year it will be the new normal.

Can you and your sister go on holiday over Christmas? OH & I are going to South Goa for Christmas and New Year as we could see things could get complicated with family

I agree, I do not have any family so for years I have spent Christmas alone, even considering painting my bedroom one year. It is another day in the year.

Christmas Day is one of 365/366 days in the year - unless the religious service is vital does it really matter on which day Christmas is celebrated?

Don’t fret about Christmas Day itself - make your Christmas Day the one when you spend time with your son and his family. Our children all spend Christmas Day at home with their own little families and then we all gather here on Boxing Day. I literally spend Christmas Day itself cooking and cleaning ready for the next day’s celebrations and it works perfectly.

Be happy there’s a new addition to the family!

I find the OP incredibly selfish.

Having seen a variety of such posts on GN I wonder if someone people feel ownership of their children?

Look upon it as just a ‘different’ Christmas . I cook for 8 every Christmas ...with no help from husband...a little help from my son in law, who likes to cook. Then usually I end up washing up , my husband says he’s gonna do it but later...later...later. He knows I can’t stand the mess so I do it. I would like to be doing something less and less and less....no getting I early.. no peeling veg...no stuffing turkey...no preparing the house .dont get me wrong I have enjoyed it all...I just think it’s time for a day off!

It's hard the first time one of our children spends Christmas away from us I understand that. But just think it is only one day. An syiu can actually celebrate Christmas on the 24th, 26th or any time you want really. It's lovely for the new little family to spend the day together and I'm sure there will me many other days that you get to spend with your son and new grandchild it's lovely having grandchildren I am sure you will get lots of joy from the new addition to the family.
Meanwhile have a lovely Christmas day with your sister. Maybe go out for a lovely meal and time with your sister rembering childhood Christmases. You might find you have a really lovely time. And 2 celebrations instead of one.
Good luck
Good luck

I think what they have thought up seems pretty fair and I feel for them not actually having spent any Christmas Days together until now!
When all is said and done, there are another 364 days in the year to see the GC

Of course change is a bit daunting so it's likely you're apprehensive and a bit sad, even with the baby due. You have been so fortunate that DS and DiL were willing to spend Christmas apart while they had no children, I can hardly believe they were so kind to their families as to do that. So now is your time to be the bigger person and you know when the baby gets here you will do just that. As others have said, embrace the change and plan something that excites you.

I am lucky enough to be able to go to DD's as we live fairly close. I usually arrive about 9.30/10.00 & leave about 3.00 just before she's thinking about kicking me out . When DH was alive DM & Step-F used to drive down to us for Christmas & New Year (250 mile journey) until they felt the journey was too much. I hosted a big Family party on Boxing Day until 1st Grandchild arrived (Step-DH's DD & SiL's baby) . When DGS was 18 months old Boxing Day moved to Step-D's.

My DM is 90 & I last spent Christmas with her 7 years ago (she no longer travels far), DH was in Hospital & we went out for Christmas Day Lunch at a local pub, DH & I had done the same the year before.

DH & I spent several Christmas Days on our own after the AC had left home, we would never have expected them to be apart each going to their own Parents

My DM buys special foods for Christmas Day, very expensive but real treats which she enjoys, we make sure we all ring her, I ring before I leave for DD's & when I get home. It wouldn't bother me to stay at home alone but DD & DiL wouldn't allow that, it's lovely seeing DGSs open their presents. Treat Christmas Eve or Boxing Day as your family Christmas, new DG won't care & as they get older they actually love having more than one Christmas Day.

Family life evolves, join your Sister at the pub, volunteer or stay home whatever suits you. This year will start a new tradition which may evolve over time.

Vivonce don't leave again, we're all entitled to opinions, some are sympathetic, some not, some offer excellent advice, reflects real life

I hvave spent the last six Christmas days alone because my family all gather at my sons house 150 miles away and I can no longer travel. They come to see me the day after. Boxing Day. I enjoy watching films and TV and eating special treats and drink by myself.
When my son was living abroad I would go away for Christmas on coach holidays at home or abroad. Everyone was friendly and I was never left alone.
Christmas these days has got to be an expensive time for many who cannot afford it and I know families who get into debt or spend the rest of the year paying for it. It has got commercial.

The OP doesn't know how well off she is. My DSs and families are 200 miles away; one sister is terminally ill 12000 miles away and another sister is about 350 miles away. OP has a sister in the same street and lots of friends! Her DS is close enough to call round and she will have a GC close at hand if not on Christmas day. Wow! what a lucky woman she is.

I agree with Ngaoil. Many people are alone over Christmas but you don't even know if you will be. You've said that he will probably pop in on the day for a short time and you are going to see them over the Christmas period. It will just be a different Christmas and you can plan to do what you want. You are lucky.

What has your sister been doing all these years that you have spent Christmas Day with your son.. Has she been alone. Get together with her whether you see your son and family or not.
By the way, anything could change between now and Christmas.

How wonderful that your son his wife and baby will spend this special first Christmas as a family together. You should be happy for them...

Why are you worrying about Christmas already! I do usually spend part of Christmas Day with my local DD and family.but they could easily go and spend the time with muSIL’s family ,in which case I would be totally alone,as widowed for 11 years by then and no sister or other family. I really do not worry about it until nearer the time.
Just think that by then you will have a lovely new grandchild to see before and after Christmas Day itself.

You should be very pleased for your son, and the fact that he is considering you. Tell.him 'not to worry I have made other arrangements for the day. I am so happy for you, and your happiness will make me happy all day'

Amicoolyet, if we allow it we can become accustomed to being alone as Xmas despite all the usual hyperbole about Xmas and despite past habits and preferences.