My son and my grandson have just left. They have been here for three nights. It was for my seventieth bday. Everything is a mess. Their bathroom is disgusting. I can't understand why my son does not clean up after himself and his son? Thank goodness I have my own bathroom. They leave the basin and toilet dirty.
My grandson has been difficult for a long time. He is nine. I was not looking forward to this visit. I had arranged an adult dinner party, when my son decided to come anyway.
On the last visit my grandson trampolined on the furniture, walked on the upstairs banisters, and generally damaged things. My cardigan was drying on a table in the garden and he piled dirt on it. He is never challenged about these things, and I am not supposed to say anything. But I feel I have a right to defend my property in my home.
It seemed better this time. My grandson was quite friendly. He has now learnt to play chess, and we had a couple of games. He is very good, and explained strategies to me. I was hoping that that meant an end to the constant screaming and shouting rows he has. But no.
They wanted to watch Apollo 13, a movie, and each time I asked my son for explanations of what was happening, the child answered at the same time as his father. I simply cannot hear them both at once. I tried to explain to the child to be quiet so I could hear his father. He is never corrected by my son.
On another occasion we were back to a screaming ab dabs which was not dealt with. It is as though my son is frightened of the situation. He is mostly tied up in "important stuff" on his phone.
They are coming for Christmas. I really dread the event.
How do I deal with a child with challenging behaviour in my home, when I am not supposed to say anything? Or, do I maintain my position that this is how we behave in my home? It is like two kids have come to stay. MY son does have a partner, but she could not manage to get over this time, and will be staying with her own family for Christmas.
