A Merry Little Christmas

sometimes we have to be alone to understand

Can your college's student support services help you? So sorry to hear your situation.

I’m sorry you don’t want to go home but do understand that there may be very good reasons why. If possible try to explain your decision gently to your family so that no further rift is caused. When my son was at uni and it was too far and too costly to come home he had an “orphans’ Christmas” with people in the same boat for whatever reason - they had a great time! Also look at volunteering at a Crisis centre. I hope you have a happy time whatever you decide.

Volunteering the way to go.

But if you have any contact with your family use it to make bridges, don’t let them feel totally rejected.

You are young, things change and your family may be the ones who you want to turn to for support and live in the future.

If you are at College, are there any other students, maybe from overseas, who are unable to get home for the holiday. You could even try putting a notice up asking if anyone else is going to be on their own.

Otherwise, helping out at a charity is a good idea, but you need to sort that out quite quickly as often they have more volunteers than are needed. You could also approach your Student Counselling Service if there is one, and ask their advice.

I'm sorry your family life is not good - but I respect your decision that you don't want to be with them.

Crisis at Christmas or any homeless shelter such as the Salvation Army - making somebody else’s Christmas a happy one. If you explain gently to your family you need not cause them any hurt and they will be proud of you.

I'm not going to tell you to spend it with your family, that's not what would make your Christmas merry and bright.

Other student might be in the same position - has Student Services at your college any sort of provision for this?

Have you asked other friends, especially those who, don't live locally, what they are doing?

Students from all countries are often alone at Christmas and there could be get-togethers and parties planned. Ask a Students Advisor.

If you don't fancy volunteering with the homeless and most towns and cities have such an outgreach, you could start now by visiting a rest home and be there on Christmas Day too.
Not everyone gets on with older people but it occurred to me that as you came here, maybe you do.

Volunteering in a hospital is also good, many children will be in hospital over the Xmas season, and start now, don't just go in on Christmas day hoping for a role to play.

Weekends or evenings for an hour or two will get you used to what happens and get the satff used to having you around.

Some churches also welcome anyone to share Christmas meals, carol services and so on. You don't need to be a regular attendant (usually).

I hope you do find somewhere that makes you happy. You deserve to be.

You could register with Crisis at Christmas and help out with making a Christmas experience for the homeless. But I would second NotTooOld, unless your family are abusive to you, could you not spend some time with them? I would like to bet that even if you have fallen out with someone, there will be someone else in your family who would really love to see you?

You could try volunteering at a charity do of some sort. It's sad, though, that you don't want to spend the day with your family, or even just an afternoon. Won't your parents miss you?