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Christmas

Granny’s nightmare before Christmas

(8 Posts)
MawB Wed 20-Nov-19 00:02:46

I wrote this three years ago.
Ring any (jingle) bells?

Twas the month before Christmas
And throughout the land
We've started our shopping
With help from broadband
The toys come from Argos, the clothes from JL
Cos shopping in person
Is the Ninth circle of Hell
There's a jumper for DD, for SIL, gin
But where should they leave it
If I am not in?
I sit up with Amazon ordering books
For cyclists and sports fans
And children and cooks.
My cash card is tingling, the urge is still there
Without M&S or Ocado
I haven't a prayer.
In the shops like those jingle bells
The cash tills will ring
But here by the fire I am spared all that thing
Of jostling and crowds and nowhere to park
Then driving back home in the cold and the dark.
I love Christmas shopping, the spirit is here
And as I'm not driving, don't stint with the cheer.🍷🍷
But where would I be - I would weep I would frown
If my nightmare should happen
My wi-if were down? 😱😱😱

Nannytopsy Wed 20-Nov-19 00:44:08

You are so right Maw! I am slightly starting to worry, as I haven’t really started yet and we have a present exchange next weekend. 🤔

sharon103 Wed 20-Nov-19 00:56:57

smile love it Maw.
I'm a bit of both, internet and wandering round the shops. I know which I prefer now I'm getting older.
Shop shopping on Friday with my daughter. I feel worn out just thinking about it.

AllotmentLil Wed 20-Nov-19 22:16:35

With you all the way Maw! 😊

Happysexagenarian Wed 20-Nov-19 23:04:51

Love this poem, very clever Maw! And it certainly applies to me. As I sit here my Christmas list is at my side and most presents have been ticked off, all bought online. But there are still a few small gifts that I'll have to brave the shops for. I have more or less solved the delivery problem by having a large parcel box near the door and our postman and most couriers know it's safe to leave parcels there. But there's always the odd one who absolutely insists on a signature.

Callistemon Wed 20-Nov-19 23:05:49

Yes!
And I must get cracking.

(Although I did wonder if this would be another thread about HM!)

grannyqueenie Wed 20-Nov-19 23:14:18

Brilliant maw, it sounds suspiciously like my pre festive season life! The only thing missing is the bit about much headscratching to remember what amounts I’ve promised to transfer to which dd or dil to purchase what, and for which teenager on my behalf....and the various passwords involved in the execution of it all...pass the mulled wine!

CanadianGran Wed 20-Nov-19 23:19:30

Thank you - that's so fitting. You're so clever..