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Doing Christmas every year

(37 Posts)
GrandmaMoira Tue 24-Dec-19 20:22:54

I was wondering how many years everyone has hosted Christmas for all the family. I've cooked Christmas dinner and had everyone at home for 40 years. I'm beginning to think it should be someone else's turn!

BBbevan Tue 24-Dec-19 20:52:20

When my mother was in her late 50s
, my father said " Christmas is too much for her now. It's time for you girls to take over". That was in the mid 80s My sister and I then did Christmas turn and turn about. Usually for 13 to 15 people. I loved doing it, and still do. Although since the children have married and moved away, the numbers have fluctuated somewhat. Only 4 of us this year, 9 last.

Madgran77 Tue 24-Dec-19 21:04:04

I am still waiting for someone else to do it for us! Thinking of going away next year!

Grammaretto Tue 24-Dec-19 21:13:17

DD is doing it for the first time and we are trying to be well behaved guests. We have brought a bird and veggies which we'll cook tomorrow so we are still involved. Just waiting up for Santa now!

We have had to make sure the ones who usually come to us are catered for.

Purpledaffodil Tue 24-Dec-19 21:26:51

I’ve done Christmas every year for 42 years. Started when I was 28 because we had the biggest house and DH was anti moving children out of their own home at Christmas. Numbers fluctuate now depending on arrangements with in-laws. Sometimes I think I’d like someone else to do it, but if they did, I’d probably feel redundant. Spent this afternoon coordinating two Crib services as well, so spiritual aspects taken care of.🎄

Septimia Tue 24-Dec-19 21:30:04

Last year and the year before were the first in 40-odd years that I didn't have to help or, later, prepare the Christmas dinner for the family.

Although it was nice to be free of the responsibility, and DH and I enjoyed the peace, it was also really strange to have no other people around.

This year we have the family again but next year we might take off on Christmas morning (can't go earlier as I have to play the organ for the midnight service).

Charleygirl5 Tue 24-Dec-19 21:53:34

GrandmaMoira sometime during lunch I would be inclined to mention that you hope everybody enjoys their lunch because you will not be cooking it next year.

You have been taken for granted. Either say you are going away next year or that it is time for somebody else to take over and give you a well deserved rest.

Urmstongran Tue 24-Dec-19 21:56:17

My mum was widowed at 45y. I was 23y with a new baby. We did Christmas dinner every year after that for various family members, for 32y in the same house. I got it off to a fine art - a hostess trolley became a godsend as the years went by!

Then 10y ago we downsized and I passed the baton on. I’d done my stint! Yay!

crazyH Tue 24-Dec-19 22:11:59

42 years.

For the past couple of years, older son goes to his in-laws for Xmas lunch. My daughter, her 2teenagers and myself go to my younger son's house. Daughterinlaw's mum is a very good cook ...everything is done by the time we get there 😂

morethan2 Tue 24-Dec-19 22:50:39

46 years here. I’m trying not to wish it was someone else’s turn because in someways I think I might miss’s hard work though

Bellanonna Tue 24-Dec-19 23:06:57

I hung up my Christmas lunch hat a couple of years ago. I had done it for parents, then parents and my daughters and more recently my girls and their families. Last year we went to one daughter and tomorrow we’re going to the other, but all the family will meet there. It’s bliss not having to think about it.

M0nica Tue 24-Dec-19 23:08:17

I've done 51 and loved aech and every one.

Fiachna50 Wed 25-Dec-19 00:22:29

I usually do it with help from husband. This year our adult child is cooking and we are going to theirs. If we do Christmas, they usually do New Year's Day dinner or vice versa.Its ok, but I have to confess I was dreading cooking this year, didn't mind when I was younger. One year hubby and I had Christmas just the two of us. It was great just pleasing ourselves, for some reason I think our adult children felt guilty but there was no need. It's an awful lot of work though and I do appreciate anyone who cooks for us, be it Christmas dinner or another occasion. We have had varying family and friends over many years. Even if its been a bit of a disaster noone seems to mind. My husband is going to cook on New Year's Day this year, I will give him a hand.

jeanie99 Wed 25-Dec-19 00:39:04

I don't remember a time when I haven't cooked. My mother wasn't much of a cook so even when I lived with her I did the cooking.
Married at 25 and continued, even now the children are adults and we go to their houses sometimes I always cook.
Hubby helps with the veg, the family look after the little ones, it's just part of our get together.
Seven adults this year and four little ones, it usually goes to plan, we all eat and drink far too much but the day is a happy one.
I love our time together as we lives miles away from each other.

gillybob Wed 25-Dec-19 06:14:51

I’ve done Christmas Day for about 20 years now. My biggest was dinner for 12 but now pared down to a far more manageable 7.

Will be a bit of a strange (thrown together) one this year but better than what I thought it might’ve been .

ninathenana Wed 25-Dec-19 06:15:38

When first married mum and I took turns to host. It was just the 4 of us.
Dad died the year before DD was born and I cooked for mum from then on until she died so every year for past 33 yrs.
DD isn't in a position to host so she, SiL and GC are here and good old mum is cooking again.

TerriBull Wed 25-Dec-19 08:03:05

I think I've always done Christmas, except when I was pregnant with my first child and still working and having work done on our house, my husband took me away to a hotel to be waited on for about 3 days. If I didn't look too pregnant when I arrived, I certainly did when I left, food over load 😙

GrandmaMoira Wed 25-Dec-19 11:00:06

I started doing Christmas in my twenties when my mother died. Nowadays I find that the whole thing with the extra shopping, putting up decorations, best china etc seems a marathon. It was easier when I had a husband to share the load. Last year I enjoyed it but this year I just feel tired. The problem is no-one else has space to do it and only son with a partner.

Teacheranne Wed 25-Dec-19 11:07:01

I am 63 yrs old and have only ever cooked one Christmas dinner! And I don't intend to start now! My younger sister now hosts the whole family so I'm just waiting for my son to collect me to take me there. I do help with the preparation though, this year my contribution has been cooking a ham joint, making meringues with cream and cooking the sausage meat stuffing.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 25-Dec-19 11:23:00

I've never hosted Christmas as I've always lived in a small house and it was just the two of us.
Sister/BIL live in larger houses and had children. They asked parents (no longer with us) to Christmas dinner every year and it became a habit for them to host. DH and I were quieter, less pushy and somehow made to feel (probably in our own heads) that we weren't quite up to the job. We didn't want to get into a competitive situation - "Who does it best?"
When both sets of parents were elderly they would have been more comfortable in their own homes but were too polite to refuse. It's a long day.
For a few years I lived too far away and I'm in the habit of being a guest. I try to be as agreeable and helpful as possible, always take a bottle of something and home-made biscuits as a prize for the annual quiz which I prepare.
Merry Christmas.

M0nica Thu 26-Dec-19 09:27:21

Your Christmases sound lovely lbc1955. I can look around my family and see how different members have chosen to spend Christmases over the year and it includes those who prefer quiet Christmases at home, to those who are a constant guest, to those who have moved between big family christmases and quiet ones, being the guest and hosting.

We alternate between Christmases with only our daughter with us, or, like this Christmas, having DS and family with us as well. They alternate between being our guests and hosting Christmas for her family. DD is always the guest, although, once, when she worked shifts and a Christmas day shift was always possible, we had contingency plans to move the Christmas day celebrations to her at short notice.

I do not think we compare Christmases. I know DS amd family do their Christmases as host very differently to us, but does it matter? For me, being fortunate to have a family who can gather and be happy at Christmas is all that matters, how we celebrate it is secondary

Hetty58 Thu 26-Dec-19 09:44:38

I did my 40 odd year stint until 2017. I had a really bad back injury and just couldn't do (or reach, carry) so many things it was impossible. My eldest daughter took over then and, although I was only 64, she has continued. She's a much better cook than I ever was!

Fiachna50 Thu 26-Dec-19 12:01:55

The thing is, it's all very well going to someone else for Christmas every year, but is there any thought given to the person doing all the shopping, prep and cooking ? It's alot of work AND alot of pressure. I think it only fair to take turns. As I get older I do find it more difficult, but wouldn't want to just land my adult children with it all.

ExD1938 Wed 01-Jan-20 17:50:40

We've been married 59 years and I've done every Christmas except this one.
I hate it!

Daisymae Wed 01-Jan-20 20:32:16

Seriously, I think ladies who are fed up with doing it need to say so. I always said I could only do it with my husband's help. He can't anymore so I have resigned!