Things that should be punishable at Christmas! (light hearted)

Cindysmith, have you thought about say " I have absolutely no idea what to feed people on restrictive diets. "
"We can either go out for lunch( Boxing Day is much cheaper) or you girls can take over the cooking next time as I find it all too stressful now I am getting older."

A little thank you from DH's for all the hardwork that we wives put in over Christmas. Saving all year round for the season so tere are no debts in the New Year. From buying and wrapping the gifts, buying, writing and posting cards. Shopping, queueing,preparing,cooking and serving the food. Decorating the house and dismantling after Christmas.Still cleaning the house, changing the bedding, washing and ironing whilst doing all the other things relating to Christmas. It is hard not to feel taken for granted sometimes.

I had one vegetarian, one gluten free and one low carb. The gluten free one was very hard to sort out so it was left to his mum to deal with.

The DH who says afterwards “that wasn’t so bad was it?” When all he did was stack the dishwasher, pour drinks and snooze in front of TV. They really should be made to shop, prep and cook a Christmas dinner at least once.

People who ignore the little side table beside their chair and put their glass of red wine down on the floor instead. And are then shocked and "mortified" when the glass falls over, spilling red wine all over my 6 month old light beige carpet.

My DIL having all the cards from HER family proudly displayed on the mantelpiece while cards from our side are hidden in the kitchen. So hurtful.

People who say "just give me a small portion," after you've been slogging your guts out in the kitchen.

Those who sit at the table and talk about how lovely everything is where they live: turkey, veg, cakes, bread, cream, cheese, fish, spirits. Why are they eating the awful stuff they are currently being served in my house? There should be no comments allowed other than: delicious, really enjoyed that, and a bloody big Thank You.

Relatives (notably BiL's) who openly belch out loud as they eat making no attempt at apology but offer "it's only manly!"

Wot? Vulgar behaviour and appalling manners is 'manly' is it?

My BiL is a sodding caveman......

I have noticed that it's usually men that ask when the food will be served, especially when they haven't bothered to get up for any breakfast!
Anyone that, when you are going to a relatives for Christmas lunch get up, spend 45minutes in the bathroom at least and then come downstairs, saying "Right, we'll go then" 30 minutes before you are expected at your host's (it usually takes longer to get there) , pick up the bags that you are taking without checking that everything that they want to take is in them and then spend the rest of the day moaning because xyz isn't there, bcause you are a mind reader and you should know that he'd want them !
This is all after you have got up early, fed the cat and the rabbit, cleared up the kitchen from the mess he left after a midnight snack and also packed those bags!

Glad I’m not coming to your home Phoenix.

Am fascinated by the 'different meals for different people' brigade. (Sincere apologies Cindy, I'm not getting at you. I've seen this such a lot this Christmas) Ok. So veggies will eat anything the vegans have - so make a nut roast with no cheese (such a simple dish I promise) or get yourself a plant based something from M&S, Tesco, Waitrose etc. Apart from don't use goose fat on the roasties, or make the gravy with meat juices, they'll have the rest of what everyone else is eating. Vegetable stock cubes for gravy. Lactose intolerance? Don't give them sauces with milk or cheese. Coeliac - no stuffing, check there's not wheat in a shop-bought marinade or sauce. They wouldn't have gravy, so you could make thin gravy for them. Prepared shop bought roast potatoes will probably have flour on them.

People who visit you with a tiny baby (gorgeous little darling really) and it cries non-stop!

The people who say, but it's Christmas you must have a glass of something or some dish with sherry. When told I don't touch any form of alcohol or alcohol containing dish . I am a alcoholic in recovery for 20years when people get to persistent my DD always steps in and tells them it brings me out in a rash. It does on my brain .I have become quite a recluse this time of year the worst one was a person who was aware and insisted that it was Christmas and it was ok I lost it and asked if it was nuts I could not have would she say the same thing. Not seen her since

Inishowen, I may be wrong, but I think the Orthodox churches celebrate on 6th January. If that is the case, they would probably not have realised they were gatecrashing your celebration. Poor husband!

A few years ago we had just sat down to eat our Chistmas dinner when the doorbell rang. Who calls uninvited on Christmas day? It was a Russian family that my husband knew. Mum dad and two kids. Husband being polite left his dinner uneaten and began fetching them drinks etc., meanwhile the rest of us carried on eating. They could clearly see us through the glass doors! Everything felt ruined. Husband missed the meal he had cooked, the rest of us felt we had to eat quickly so we could go and make conversion. I think back and wonder if it was a culture difference, that they didn't realise they were intruding on a very special day.

These are all so true, not Christmas related as such but:
A/ Drivers who don’t indicate ?
B/ Drivers who don’t say thank you ?
I leave the house in a good mood and by the time I get to my destination, I’m ready to explode ?
Hope everyone had a good Christmas,counting down to the next one ?

People who you rarely see who tell you they will call in to see you Christmas morning, so you get up earlier than you would in order to have breakfast and be dressed before they arrive - and they don't turn up!

Also the glitter thing - I am still finding glitter around the place, under the hearth rug (how on earth did it get there), even in the bedroom (must have attached itself to my slippers). I don't think those senders should be shot - too quick an end!

Guests who tell you they don’t like Prosecco but ask for white wine with lemonade ?

After struggling with huge amounts of shopping and spending xmas eve baking, roasting beef joint and enormous ham with marmalade coating, then up early xmas day to get the giant turkey in the oven, maybe I was over tired. Roll forward to tea time when I asked DH if he fancied a bite to eat. What did he ask for? Have we got a tin of salmon? I replied that I have spent the last 24hrs cooking a mountain of meat for your delight and you have the cheek to ask me to open a tin. How dare you!!!!!

EllaKete is spot on.
The damn stuff goes every where and seems to be around for ages too even after cleaning.
It should be banned as it can`t be good for the environment.

Yes I have two vegans one vegatarian & one lactose intolerant. It was only me and my husband that ate a traditional Christmas dinner! Twice as long to cook twice as many pots & pans etc absolute nightmare! Was glad to go back to work yesterday!

People who refuse food, then the minute you have sat down with yours, say, well, actually, I could eat a bit of something.

Those who say have we got any cheese/crisps etc while remaining firmly ensconced in their chair - excusing their not getting up because you know where everything is

Those who say before Christmas there’s nothing special they want getting in - and then look all martyred when you don’t have some obscure snack on Boxing Day, that you've never been asked to provide before

All of the above!

When husband asks what's for tea ? and I painstakingly reel off the components of a nice meal to be told "that'll do"

AC who use a clean glass every time they have a drink and take a glass of water to bed but don’t bring any of them back down!