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Things that should be punishable at Christmas! (light hearted)

(66 Posts)
phoenix Fri 27-Dec-19 17:30:36

Hello all, and sending good wishes, especially to those in need.

People who eat a sweet/chocolate from a box, and put the empty wrapper back in the tub/box, should be made to wash up, at least twice, to make up for the disappointment experienced by those who thought they had found their favourite, only to be sadly let down.

Anyone who brings through a dish, bowl or any other thing of that ilk after the washing up has been done, should be made to lick it clean in full view of all the other guests, before washing it properly, drying it up (along with anything else) and putting it away.......properly.

People who think it is "fun" to use party poppers, must crawl on their hands and knees until they have gathered up every single bit of the garish paper that does not go at all with the colour scheme. (And makes even the tidiest room look like a bomb's hit it)

Anyone who hasn't learnt how to replace a toilet roll should be made to wipe their bottom with sandpaper (NB, this should apply all year round)

Announcing on Christmas Day that you are now dairy/gluten intolerant, vegetarian/vegan, allergic to cats/dogs/hamsters and expecting the host/hostess to accommodate you.

Anyone have things to add?

Nannylovesshopping Fri 27-Dec-19 17:34:29

Those who say, oh I’m much too full, after you have made three different desserts, then twenty minutes later clean you out of the quality street!

EllaKeat Fri 27-Dec-19 17:37:13

Anyone who thinks it is festive to put loose glitter into an envelope containing Christmas card, in addition to putting said glitter into wrapped parcel should just be shot.
Shot I tell you. No half measures, no nanny pambyism, just about. Dead.

PamGeo Fri 27-Dec-19 17:42:44

Those who seem to perfectly time the 'any chance of a cuppa ?' to when you have just sat down ... that's also an any time of year punishable thing. Those kind of people should be ejected out of their comfy seat by a mysteriously strong inspector gadget kind of spring.

GagaJo Fri 27-Dec-19 18:13:11

Those asking 'What time are we eating?'

If you REALLY want to eat sooner rather than later, get in the kitchen and HELP.

phoenix Fri 27-Dec-19 18:24:04

EllaKeat there should be a special kind of hell set aside for them!

lemongrove Fri 27-Dec-19 18:38:51

Neighbours at the door who say ‘ No, I won't come in’ then keep you jawing away on the doorstep for a good ten mins whilst the door is letting all the heat out!
Carol singers who belt out two lines of silent night ( noisily and flat) then bang on the door.
Postmen who screw envelopes up almost in half to get them through the letterbox, so that the card inside is ruined.Grrrr,
Bah! Humbug.

BradfordLass72 Fri 27-Dec-19 20:39:39

People who drop in unannounced in the late afternoon, say they only came to wish me a very quick merry christmas and aren't stopping and then stay and talk and talk until I'm almost asleep.

Yes, lemongrove - them too. Sheesh - either come in or go away !

cornergran Fri 27-Dec-19 20:59:32

People who turn up with streaming cold, high temperature and explosive sneezes rather than stay home because they ‘don’t want to let you down’. They then spend hours telling everyone how ill they feel while touching every piece of food on the buffet although they insist they are too ill to eat. Oh please do let me down, no one wants to spend the next two weeks feeling dreadful.

Oopsminty Fri 27-Dec-19 21:00:39

Falling asleep and snoring.

Not that I'm guilty but my brother in law did that one year

I thought his teeth were going to fall out

Oopsminty Fri 27-Dec-19 21:04:01

Those asking 'What time are we eating?

Oh yes Gagajo!

My brother in law ( the same one mentioned earlier) was guilty of this many years ago. He stormed into the kitchen and pointed out there was four women in there and where was the food.

You can imagine the looks he got.

Hetty58 Fri 27-Dec-19 21:05:59

My daughter piling my huge dinner plate sky high with food. Yes, I did eat that much without indigestion, - in the past. Now, I'll still try to eat it all - then suffer the consequences1

H1954 Fri 27-Dec-19 22:03:55

Those annoying relatives who monopolise the conversation and only EVER want to talk about themselves!

Ninarosa Fri 27-Dec-19 22:23:20

People who exclaim " I'm mad, me, I am ", then give you a sort of searching look as if to invite a response as to why they are mad, them, they are! Just get over yourselves; whose interested anyway ?

Ninarosa Fri 27-Dec-19 22:24:47

Who's !!

lemongrove Fri 27-Dec-19 22:28:46

Nina 😁they sound like ones to avoid!
I feel the same as you if somebody is introduced as a ‘real character’.......groan!

dragonfly46 Fri 27-Dec-19 22:29:10

AC who use a clean glass every time they have a drink and take a glass of water to bed but don’t bring any of them back down!

Ninarosa Fri 27-Dec-19 22:54:10

When husband asks what's for tea ? and I painstakingly reel off the components of a nice meal to be told "that'll do"

RosesAreRed21 Sat 28-Dec-19 09:35:59

All of the above!

Gma29 Sat 28-Dec-19 09:39:13

People who refuse food, then the minute you have sat down with yours, say, well, actually, I could eat a bit of something.

Those who say have we got any cheese/crisps etc while remaining firmly ensconced in their chair - excusing their not getting up because you know where everything is

Those who say before Christmas there’s nothing special they want getting in - and then look all martyred when you don’t have some obscure snack on Boxing Day, that you've never been asked to provide before

Cindysmith Sat 28-Dec-19 09:43:38

Yes I have two vegans one vegatarian & one lactose intolerant. It was only me and my husband that ate a traditional Christmas dinner! Twice as long to cook twice as many pots & pans etc absolute nightmare! Was glad to go back to work yesterday!

timetogo2016 Sat 28-Dec-19 09:46:53

EllaKete is spot on.
The damn stuff goes every where and seems to be around for ages too even after cleaning.
It should be banned as it can`t be good for the environment.

Diggingdoris Sat 28-Dec-19 09:55:56

After struggling with huge amounts of shopping and spending xmas eve baking, roasting beef joint and enormous ham with marmalade coating, then up early xmas day to get the giant turkey in the oven, maybe I was over tired. Roll forward to tea time when I asked DH if he fancied a bite to eat. What did he ask for? Have we got a tin of salmon? I replied that I have spent the last 24hrs cooking a mountain of meat for your delight and you have the cheek to ask me to open a tin. How dare you!!!!!

Coopsnan Sat 28-Dec-19 09:56:11

Guests who tell you they don’t like Prosecco but ask for white wine with lemonade 😂

Oldwoman70 Sat 28-Dec-19 10:00:45

People who you rarely see who tell you they will call in to see you Christmas morning, so you get up earlier than you would in order to have breakfast and be dressed before they arrive - and they don't turn up!

Also the glitter thing - I am still finding glitter around the place, under the hearth rug (how on earth did it get there), even in the bedroom (must have attached itself to my slippers). I don't think those senders should be shot - too quick an end!