I love them honest I do but I’m glad they’ve gone.

morethan2 I know exactly how you feel! We are bracing ourselves for a visit from our three sons and their families (fourteen of them in total) there will be 17 of us for a New Year dinner. We really do love seeing them and appreciate that they make the 200 mile round trip to visit us - but my goodness it's hard work! The next few days will be spent cleaning and airing bedrooms, changing linen, cleaning carpets, bathrooms and floors, and planning meals and shopping. Fortunately we all get along really well and the GC love spending time with us and their cousins, so no worries about family tensions etc. But I know we will breathe a big sigh of relief when they leave...... until the next time. Now, back to the chores.

I do so agree about the “feast or famine” comment. My AC and their families all live at least 1 1/2 hours from me, in two different directions, so popping in is not an option. Just waved the last ones off after taking them out to brunch/lunch. It has actually been staggered with next to no pressure on me so why am I knackered? (Apart from the driving?)
Weekend before Christmas, I was with DD2, SIL and DGS in Norfolk where they have a little house, then home for one night and then off to DD1, SIL and DGCs in Birmingham where DD3, SIL and baby DGS were also staying for Christmas Day and Boxing Day (joined by DD2 etc on Boxing Day ) then home on Friday followed about two hours behind by DD2, SIL etc who stayed last night with me before returning to London this afternoon . They are hoping to get back up to Norfolk on Monday for the week and New Year but are briefly touching base at home. I would rather not think of the miles they have clocked up.
Hattie was a little bit stressed at sharing her space with their dog Basil and is now stretched out on the sofa opposite me, heaving a huge sigh of relief.
But I would have been miserable on my own and recognise how lucky I am to have a happy healthy family who all get on well with each other and enjoy each other’s company. Counting my blessings indeed.

When I read this these sort of comments...I know why I follow Gransnet...yes I also experienced the big family gathering...and yes we love to see them all especially the older GC as they are at Uni...so we ended up with 12 of various ages plus a blind/deaf and diabetic dog...who on the first day was let out into our garden and promptly stepped off the top of a six foot wall and fell onto the patio with a loud yelp !! Really afraid to look at him...but he thankfully strolled off unscathed! as you can imagine very stressful from then on as we also have a pond ! So ended up with us in our 70's panicking every time he was let out and feeling the need to be with him...I have to say I do think you shouldn't be expected to have to automatically accept family dogs...sadly in this case our son is divorced and the dog too problematic to be accepted in kennels...Loved seeing them all we had a great get together...but nice and quiet now, big clean completed including floors washed and disinfected !! phew ?

I’m so pleased they all get on, two of my grandchildren ages 9 and 10, are absolute best friends, they all look out for the toddler and the older ones join in.

What’s hard, and this isn’t only at Christmas is that everything takes place at our house, because we’ve got the space, we keep threatening to bur a little cottage, they think were joking, but maybe we aren’t!

We all feel the same I think: it is lovely that they come, but it is also lovely when they leave.

One or two points to consider: you can ask family to contribute to the expense of Christmas dinner. After all, if they stayed at home they would be buying the food themselves.

You can also delegate some of the cooking, washing up etc.

I'm lucky, the first time my DIL came for Christmas, she bought a smoked leg of Icelandic lamb with her and said she hoped I didn't mind she had done so, because she hoped we would care to sample a traditional Icelandic Christmas dish on Boxing Day. She and DS did all the cooking and washing up that day and helped on the other days.

I have one part of the family yet to arrive. I know the children will have had enough even before they get here. Yes of course I love all my family but will be happy to see them go as well!

Sussexborn we had Christmas lunch out last year but it cost a fortune and was very disappointing. So this year I did it again but I bought ready prepared food. Still a challenge and very tiring but OK. We actually had a very nice time, but being cooped up with boistous, over excited and emotional small children is hard and very noisy when you are not used to it.

CarlyD7 I think you make a useful point there. My two sons live fairly close and come and stay often throughout the year so Christmas is simply more of the same. The whole extended family also get together on a self-catered holiday every summer and so we are used to rubbing along. In fact Christmas is easier because at least my own kitchen is better equipped than most holiday homes and I have plenty of bedrooms.

The tradition of family holidays/Christmases goes back to before I joined my husband's family and I have simply carried it on, but it means that my children have always spent a great deal of time with extended family and have benefited enormously from doing so. Where we are especially fortunate is that my lovely daughter-in-law comes from a family with very similar traditions and so has embraced it too.

It's only human nature to let off steam sometimes. No one can help those whose families live overseas. It was their choice, not ours. There is no point feeling bitter about it.

Oh and the people whose family are overseas shouldnt complain because at least they arent all dead. And some people have no arms or legs

There's nothing wrong with letting off a little steam!
The OP was quite clear than she loves it really.
Thats what family is supposed to be, rubbing along, rolling your eyes at the little irritations/differences, but doing it anyway because underneath it all you love each other.

Its not supposed to be perfect. Its okay to tell it as it is!

My family drive me CRAZY at times! But I love em. Its fine. The people citing their irritations arent wishing their families away..

Kittylester there is no way it's only going to be 3 weeks. Builders always tell you half the time it will really take, and then some unforseen problem adds another month. If you let them stay it will be a minimum of 2 or 3 months.

Reading all your posts it kind of makes me glad we took ourselves off to the Caribbean for a fortnight over Christmas this year. We've hosted Christmas for the family many times so decided to give ourselves Christmas off this year - bliss! I did miss all the rituals that go with a typical family Christmas in the UK but it was the right decision. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

52bright, it all sounds very hectic but you obviously made it work.
I don't want to speak out of turn as I know very little about MH issues but it struck me that your SiL must want to be there. To come out of his comfort zone (?) I would have thought he either really wishes to please your DD - or he does actually like you.
This is probably very simplistic - but he does seem to have made an effort just by being there which is not always easy for those with MH problems.

Do you know, all you people complaining need to accept that at least you get to see your families. What about those of us who have older children that live overseas? The chances of getting them to England at the same time are slim, but we managed it this time with the help of various airlines that did not go on strike.
Seriously people, I don’t know how you can complain.

Be grateful to have family and loved ones, plenty don’t. I think it is wrong to moan actually. It’s only for a few days - you’d soon complain if you didn’t see them at Christmas. I will enjoy looking after my future adult children (11 and 13 now)and future grandchildren when the time comes. I can understand the dogs being annoying though. I’m a bit scared of dogs so wouldn’t enjoy that at all.

A funny tale here. I know all about serving, under duress, to someone who's " not quite so nice ".
Besides my day job early 80's I used to do silver service at the then local " posh " hotel. There were always big functions prior to Christmas and the place was busy. One evening during a function I'd been keeping my eye on one particular lady who must have thought " she was on her dad's yacht ", clicking her fingers and generally belittling the staff.

After the main meal had finished she shouted for the cheese board so one of the waitresses brought it from the kitchen so then I couldn't resist taking a phrase from Ronnie Barker and promptly handed over a plate and said " Your crackers, madam ", but meant " you're ".

Whether the penny ever dropped I don't know but I felt great afterwards.

Ronnie Barker said the same with the nuts, but there were none of those on the top table. That would have been even better !

It has been lovely reading your posts and bringing back memories. I hosted Christmas almost every year from 1970 to 2013. My lovely Mum died in 2014 so havent made much of Christmas since then. 3 of those years my DDIL hosted Christmas which were wonderful times although I still had people staying at home. The last 3 years my DH have spent Christmas at home by ourselves pleasing ourselves. Just as well this year as I am unable to do much.

I had everyone here in my tiny 2 up 2 down. It was er, cosy to say the least. Being pregnant the heat in the kitchen nearly killed me- still no one knows I’m 22 weeks. I think they must think I’ve od’d on mince pies. I’ve shopped, wrapped, food shopped, prepped, decorated, cooked, cleaned, tidied. Then on boxing day afternoon I suddenly felt rather ill. I went up to bed only to wake up with a chest infection. With fibromyalgia I knew all the rushing about would lead to this.
I'm glad I hosted and glad my family are close by so they don't stay. I think it's a perfect balance. I usually end up hosting as there's only me with children and it's easier for people to come to them.
I decided on having next year off.
I do get fed up of my mom complaining about my cat. She moans about them whether they are in the room or not.
I'm still in bed today, with the cat - of course. New year's eve will come and go and I'll miss it once again no doubt.

15 for Christmas period last year, it was lovely but very exhausting and I wondered if I would cope doing it again (but that feeling only last a few days when they left!) This year we were down to 6 for Christmas Day itself only. Not prepared for how quickly the next generation decide they have had enough of traditions and want to go off and do their own thing without us. But we did have a lovely time with the one family that were prepared to join us this year. Next year they will be at the inlaws, so might have to think of something else, the last thing I want is to be seen as a 'duty' for one family each year to put up with us to make sure we are not on our own.

Enjoy them whilst they are prepared to come, recovery doesn't take that long!

Im not saying I wouldnt do it kittylester. Im just saying I would point out that being told rather than it being agreed is not the way to do it

Four days is a bit too long. Time for you to sit back and relax.

We take the whole family out for lunch and then they all return to our home to chat and open gifts while we spend the time in the kitchen preparing tea. Every year we get up early and prepare all the salads, fold napkins and pre-prepare anything else we can.
I can not stand for long periods so most of food preparation is down to DH who has a life limiting condition. DH cleans the house and makes sure the bathrooms and kitchen are pristine.
This year I was gobsmacked to be accused of not caring enough about DC's feelings and not appreciating how hard their lives are

notanan2 - it is a given because we do what we can to help. They will fir us when we need them to. It's how our family works.

Both my husband and I have health issues, so this year we were on our own. It was a very special day though, we could rest when we needed to, eat and watch tv when we both felt able so it worked perfectly. We have 3 DD, 2 live near, other daughter coming on Monday with 3 grandchildren. We have 6 altogether and very so very blessed to have them. We have to stagger our visits,but hope to have everybody together for a hour. To do presents and celebrate. It’s so hard with ill health, but we manage the best we can and are very lucky to have such an understanding family.
I’ve loved reading all these posts and just seeing a glimpse of what everyone else manages at our ages 63and 65.
Happy new year to everyone on this great platform.xx

It is worth it. We had a very quiet Christmas with just the two of us and it was lovely. But, I missed everyone. It is absolutely ok to be glad that they left. We all have our own lives and routine.