I love them honest I do but I’m glad they’ve gone.

I am wondering, as I start to get back to normal, why all the clothes the children have worn over the last few days are in my washing basket, and my youngest daughter has left a dress which she finds too fiddly to iron!

Mine started coming on Christmas Eve and last lot will leave tomorrow. The house is a tip with toys, presents, discarded clothing etc etc etc. Dishwasher on constantly (and thank goodness for it!), kettle always on the boil, leftovers on every kitchen surface, as well as the inevitable things that didn’t make it into the dishwasher. Yes I’m up there with the best/worst of you. My house is never, ever like this.
There have been a few tense moments - why, when we have hosted DD’s partner for three large meals, bed, breakfast etc, has he not given us so much as a bunch of flowers let alone a “proper” present and why did he make a very inappropriate “joke” at the dinner table?? Why do I not keep my mouth shut when DS oversteps the mark with DD? Why does DGD have to go to her (horrible in my opinion!) dad on Christmas Day?
But - they offer to help all the time, DDiL cooked us a beautiful meal, they all (apart from one!) brought lovely presents and contributions to the festivities, DD has brought/made delicious puddings.
I guess it’s about taking the rough with the smooth. Yes, we shall be glad to have the house back to normal but yes, I shall also shed a few tears.
And, novel thought, I think they’ll all be glad to get back to their own houses and their own beds!!

I honestly have got a plasterer in today, he’s here right now.

I think my family think I made him up, so I could get rid of them all last night.

I missed so many Christmases when my daughter lived in New Zealand and I was still in the UK, that I was delighted to be the host this year. Yes, I am exhausted and seem to have spent more money and bought more stuff than was required. So what? We had a lovely day and lots of fun.

52bright, I don't see any rudeness in that man's need for his own food. he has a condition that necessitates it.
I can see that getting other food ready for large numbers at the same time can be tricky. perhaps next time he could bring his own microwave and set it up in another room, so as to heat his food without bothering you, getting in your way in the kitchen. it's good that he can join his family at the gathering at your house.
it sounds good to have such a wide age range together; that will particularly help the children to grow up aware of others and the reality of ageing.

kircubbin 2000, and GrannySomerset, what it is to have an ungrateful child, sharper than ta serpent's tooth, as the bard says.
I have seen this close up recently. someone I have been helping, whose children do little, are callous, controlling, too busy, not interested enough to get involved, or even learn the real situation; and not one word of thanks to me nor a card at xmas to acknowledge my unpaid input, support, medical liaison etc.
am feeling quite depressed by the whole situation. would be easier if she had no one. one of them said to her, how do you know you can trust welbeck. I have been to 100+ medical appts since 2013, which now often take most of day. was every day at her side when in-patient 10 weeks, and overnight, uncomfortably, twice when things were dicey. I am struggling to continue. emotionally more than physically. sorry. off topic............---666284836o4hrwefnwlejfcn ldjncaeuvhqldnaec

We loved having our dd two grandchildren my 88 year old mother and her widowed next door neighbour on Christmas day. With dd's husband that is 8 of us. The sil doesn't have much to say though and finds a corner to sit in and hardly moves. We do a lovely Christmas 3 course lunch with all the trimmings but my dd always brings separate food for her husband which irritates every year. He has mental health issues which include food and having someone in the kitchen fussing about over his plate and using the microwave when you are trying to get roasties, boiled potatoes, several vegetables, stuffing pigs in blankets gravy ext ext hot to the table for 7 others is profoundly irritating. He didn't want my starter or pudding either.
However we have become wiser over the years and learned to accept that his strange ways are the price we pay for the pleasure of having a lovely day with dd and lovely grandchildren who love all the traditions at our house.

Even my mother, usually the most vociferous regarding any form of rudeness, smiles benignly and chooses to ignore for the sake of a harmonious time with the grandchildren. The more I read on these threads the more I am aware that everything is not always plain sailing with inlaws so we grumble a bit privately afterwards but refuse to allow this to spoil our day.

Like you, Kircubbin, I have a daughter who avoids all unpleasantness, and only reluctantly acknowledges that her father’s Parkinson’s has a major effect on both our lives. I could really do with a day or two away to catch up with myself but there is no way she would come and take care of him to allow me to do that. And the notion that I find life increasingly tiring is beyond her!

Where did we go wrong?

My daughter gave off to me for limping and for struggling on the stairs. She said I hope you're not going to start being decrepit already as if I was faking.

We left DD promptly because our visitors were due but I was just beginning to feel the tension rising so it was good to leave on good terms.

Today, my visitors called off, pleading feeling poorly so we had an evening by ourselves watching our new boxed sets and eating our dinner on our laps by the fire. Very nice.

I my this forum is amazing
Loved for a week with son wife to be and her 4 month old baby, adorable .. ( not our sons.. he’s adopted him and I love him so much l)
.. it’s been a while new experience for us .. first time grandparents and living with youngest son ( we have two sons ) for the first time in ages
I’m relieved they going as much as it’s all been lovely .. I think the novelty for her has worn off ..it’s a long story .. I’ve been upset but I’m learning fast that being paternal grandparents is going to be a bumpy road me thinks .. for 4 Months I’ve been supporting by text ( they live 140 miles away) and visited just after baby born ... long story .. health care abroad as better treatment they insist etc .. I accidentally upset her and I’m mortified after us getting on so well ... I said, as a joke ( think a translation and expression difference ) “ I can’t promise smith baby will be a quiet when they cry .... well I caused a problem as his mum upset that I separated the baby (unwittingly) to any future blood grandchild .... s
mum suddenly disappeared upstairs and didn’t even say goodnight and my son stormed off upset not knowing what to say or do as was feeling torn between us
I’m so upset .. I apologised profusely as my intention was not upset but a giggle .. I said my comment came from a good place and that baby is not loud when he cries .. I spent 2 hours trying to pic up the pieces and it feels different ... I told them having a child knackering and stressful and they must be feeling that too ::: help! Lol .. I feel so upset ..; her mum is living abroad and I try to make her feel as at home as possible you know ? Wedding in feb .. I said she’ll be stressed and so will my son but that only natural .. ( eldest got married 18 months ago)
We’ve had a heart to heart and told her we were worried when we knew son going to take on a baby and she said her mum would have felt the same ...Any tips or similar experience of putting foot well and truly in mouth without intending to and feeling upset ? .. thank you .. any tips would be very welcome ??

I think it is the extra stress this year Morethan I think you are amazing

I'm always amazed at the young adults who suddenly forget how to make lunch or coffee when mum and dad are around to do it! Haha

We didn't have a houseful, only for a few hours on Christmas day. But we did have MIL who is elderly and can barely walk spend two nights. She even now has trouble with her walker. Living in a retirement home, the doors are wider, but here at our house she often got stuck trying to get to her room or the bathroom. I'm certainly glad to have her, but it is tiring.

Mine are still with me and have been very helpful during their stay. They’re away tomorrow, day and night, but back on Sunday - along with their two dogs. No complaints here though, my son and his lovely wife cooked dinner tonight and they’ve been a joy to be with. I have loved watching my sons playing silly games together and enjoying each other’s company. When they do leave on the 2nd January I’ll be going back to work after months of illness, so it’s been useful to see what I can cope with before my energy levels give out.

To be fair to my husband, he pulls his weight, but we’ve both got awful colds and coughs, and everything has seemed hard work this year.

i hate the assumption that women will organise and do most of the work in arranging xmas gatherings, meals etc.
but also some women take upon themselves this role and guard it fiercely, then complain men expect them to do everything.
why don't they give a list of things they need others to do.
I think the martyr syndrome is in play sometimes.
why don't they just say they have decided to rest this year and will be interested to see how everyone else chooses to mark xmas, ie the people who usually are waited upon.

My husband tells the children they’re going to be allocated a glass at the start of the visit, and they’ve to hang on to it, and re use it, do they take a scrap of notice? Of course not!
He reckons he washes up about fifty glasses a day.

Yea that's another thing that begins to grate, and it has nothing to do with who the guests are or how they behave:

The noise of the dishwasher being on constantly. It a low level irritation that begins to fry the nerves.

On a "normal" day we load it in the evening, but put it on on our way put the door after breakfast things are added.

The dishwasher being on constantly means that everyone needs to speak slightly louder, telly or music volume needs to be up slightly higher. And its just sensory overload!

My ILs are lovely but they dont get the concept of holding onto "your" cup or glass. So if they take you up on an offer of re-fills of tea or wine etc, they expect it in a new/clean glass or cup!

Last ones just left!

I love having them, but two extra families is hard going! Love having them here, all the cousins get on well, and the girls pull their weight, but the house is a tip, we had pre arranged outdoor activities yesterday, and it tipped with rain. One child was up all night being sick, next morning, one child had to have a visit to A & E, all the bed changes, piles of towels, sticky little fingers everywhere dishwasher on constantly, honestly, I love them all dearly, love seeing them, but, I am so looking forward to a peaceful evening.

On the plus side if we never had a full house of visitors we would never get new pillows!

I only notice how awful our pillows have got when I have to count how many "decent" pillows we have for upcoming guests: then I realise they all need replacing and go out and buy better ones!

It's the planning, shopping, catering, bedding, towels, bathrooms, laying table, constant crockery washing and DH thinks it appears as if by magic. I loved the family, eight this year, being together but in my 60s I do feel it is lot to do. And of course we have all the boxes, wrapping, cans, bottles etc to recycle too. However, next year if they go to other rellies and can't be here on the 25th I'll be looking back on this Christmas through rose-tinted specs!!

Family yes. Two dogs? No thanks. That’s what kennels are for. Get them booked in early next visit.

Glad it's not just me and I love having my DD and DGS here, but she is soooo untidy. I know I'm a pain about tidiness, but I felt I was just walking round the place returning things to where they belong, so I've just had to chill.

I will miss the nerf gun firing pellets down the hall and the games and stuff lying around, but the house will be silent and tidy when they're at home a couple of thousand miles away, and I'll be wishing them back.

I think it depends on how old you are, and how well you are.
I really don’t think that anyone between the ages of 65-75 should be doing all the hosting,cooking serving and clearing up after a family of four.It’s too much, especially for 4 days!
Either get them to come for half that time next Christmas or tell them that you would love to see them, but can’t do what you used to, so that they will all have to pitch in for the future.
Nothing wrong with setting a few boundaries.I think our children don’t realise that Mum and Dad are not the people they used to be energy wise.

I'm glad to be back home too. I know my son tried hard and meant well but the money wasted on tickets and taxis to an event I didn't want to go to and hated is hard to get over. I had to pretend it was great but surprises are not always a good present.

I have a sort of "sense" where my own pets are. Like a spacial awareness of them. But know exactly what you mean about other peoples pets at your feet. Some do seem to always be right at your heals making you constantly on edge that you will either stand on them and kill/maim them (can you imagine ) or you'll trip over them and break your neck!