Comparing how much grandparents spend

GC £30 each to the round the corner 2 biological mine and £150 sent to the far away ones, as a blended family we send the 150 to his DD and she deals . My DH has a very large family 7GC and 11 GGC ages from 33 oldest GS down to 3/4weeks youngest GGC no way we could deal . They all turn up at DD house over Christmas holidays .

As the OP, I am staggered at the amount some of you spend at Christmas, but otherwise I conclude that I am perhaps a tad on the mean side. I have four grandchildren who as teenagers now just want money, so they all get the same amount, which I plan to increase next year. The oldest one is 18, but as a student she is probably in the most need!

I’d suggest he’s of an age where he would be able to take on board the idea that money doesn’t buy love. Personally I feel the greatest gift we can give any child is time, especially when used in conversation.
Is it me or has this forum turned rather competitive? What I’ve spent will remain between me and my bank account.

Children don't expect everyone to give matching gifts or amounts. I ask their parents what they'd like as it takes a bit of pressure off them. For Christmas it averages about £30 - £40 each, although this year, one had a £25 present, another £50. The younger ones have no idea of prices, so I often spend more on the teenagers.

I tend to splash out more on their birthdays, as then I'm not buying for all six at once.

Reading these, it looks like I am being mean, 17 to buy for, and I am part time on minimum wage, so I buy what I hope each would like, and the prices vary depending on what it is, rather than who it is. I hope my family dont read any inference into what I have spent on each particular person, I dont even count up, but if there's something I know a family member particularly likes I would tend to spend more on that present than if I have no clue for what to get, so am just buying anything for the sake of giving a present.

At my request, DiL asked youngest DGS (12) what he wanted for Christmas. 'Some deodorant', he said. A trip to M&S provided sets of Autograph men's toiletries for him and his older brother. They were delighted. I didn't check up on what his other granny provided, but it's always far more than I can afford. It seems to make no difference to their affection for either of us.

Like you Hannah we too make things for each other... one of mine isn’t finished yet ? but will no doubt be appreciated!
My daughter and boys made some delicious florentines and truffles this year. All very welcome and thoughtful.
I gave jars of brandied fruit. Super easy and useful on ice cream as an instant pud.

All of my gifts to AC and GC are limited to around £30
It's all I can afford but I fake the trouble to search out things I think or know they will love.
Quite often I add something I've made as well. My daughters especially really love getting something, crafted, painted or cooked and will often put in a request for something particular.

Goodness gracious me! I think I'm " comfortably off" but alongside you lot I'm Scrooge's grandmother. Pjs for grandsons and cookery stuff for daughter and husband about £70 for all four. Other daughter's family I have asked for their new door code so a delivery can be made but they haven't told me so they will get nothing which is very cheap!
On the other hand I looked after the grandsons pre Christmas and two meals out, visit to cinema,Waterstones and climbing wall came into hundreds.

We have 6 grandchildren ranging from 6 to 19. We spend the equivalent of £100 per child. Our children just had token pressies this year. We usually give them money, but decided this year to keep that money for when they go on holidays in the Summer. I know people who give more and I know of others who give less, but I don't compare with them. I've already bought one gift for all the adults I buy for, in the Boots Sale. I spent £66 and have around £150 of stuff.

I had a chat with my children before Christmas. We all feel the pinch at this time of the year and my son had expressed how much more he enjoys our annual family long weekend than Christmas because there is not the financial pressure of present buying involved.
Both my children and their spouses save hard to give their children lovely presents. We cannot possibly compete and have no intention of trying.
I suggested that we each just give a large tin of chocolates/sweets to each family unit. It worked quite well and I cannot tell you how much pressure it lifted from us all.
The grandchildren were absolutely fine with the idea too.

This year we gave £50 to each grandchild and our two AC. A few years ago one of my DGS asked and I quote 'why did you only get us two presents each Nana'!!That hurt to realise we didnt meet his expectations (he was only about 5 or 6 at the time so I didnt make too much of it but it did take my breath away) Anyway they will be getting money from here on in. We finance school trips, swimming lessons and other activities during the year so they dont do too badly. They are all good kids at heart I hate to think of them becoming materialistic about Christmas but I do think present giving should be a joy both to the giver and the receiver.

Jillybird that is the best £3,000 ever spent.
It’s a Christmas everyone will remember.
So pleased you had a lovely time.

All adults in the immediate family have a “Secret Santa” gift of around £50.
We spend £35 ish on the grandchildren but we are very careful to buy something we know they’ll love so we have been known to spend £75 once and once we bought a bike which was a lot. The situation re the bike was complex so it was definitely a one-off.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We have 3 AC all with partners and 10 GC they all have £30ish at Christmas, the older GC have money and the youngest usually clothes and a toy. I said right at the start of gc arriving that I would not get into a competition with the other GPs.

£75 per DGS at Christmas, £75 each birthday. I might have set it a bit lower if I’d known how many we were going to get (we have number 6 on the way). ? We consult with their parents as to what to buy. This year one DGS had the full amount towards his bike, his brother just had 2 charity shop/sale magic sets totalling £10, and the rest into his savings, and they were both delighted. It’s getting them what they really want that matters, not the cost.

We don’t buy “stuff” for them apart from on special occasions, as we like them to be just that, special. But we often pay for meals, trips, experiences, and put any shiny coins we get into the five, soon to be six, money boxes kept at our house, for holiday spends.

One set of our “other grandparents” are very well off, just love shopping, and like to give lovely presents and surprises most weeks. We get on really well and don’t worry about it. Different families, different ideas. It’s not a competition.

'We aren't communists' Whatever does that mean, in this context?

I don't think that the sums matter at all. The important thing is that where possible, a present has been chosen with love and care for the recipient.

When (or if, because of circumstances) that is impossible, I think it is important to make sure that everyone is equal, with the possible exception of babies, who don't have a clue what is going on. Children can be very aware of difference, and if they see the same grandparent spending twice as much on a cousin or sibling, it can be felt keenly, as, rightly or wrongly, it can look as though the other child is valued more.

One grandparent spending more or less than another is irrelevant, though, IMO.

Not sure how much the other GP’s spend, but not bothered either.

DS, DIL, and two GC’s, 14 and 11, given £25 each. Money sent to DD, SIL and three GC in Australia.
The GC over here come for their tea twice a week, DH and I help with jobs in their house and garden throughout the year, the children have the occasional sleepover if parents out.
We help them on a practical level, DS and DIL have well paid jobs, the money is a token. See no sense in spending loads.

I am the only Grandparent my four Grandchildren have,they dont get a great deal spent on them, but I make sure they have the same amount spent, Daughters children and Sons children alike although they have very different circumstances financially.Everyone seems happy.

I tend to discuss with the parents what the GC need, the amount spent can vary.

It's not about the amount of money spent surely, only on the present you give.

expenditure this year
Kids x 4 approx £500 each
DH £400
Mum £350
Brother £50
Aunt £100
Adult sons gf £50
Friends kids total £150
Friends £200
In laws £150
Food and wrapping, decorations £300
Wow total about £3,750.
Adds up doesn’t it!

I can’t see that he did anything wrong - he wasn’t saying it to you, you just over heard, he was stating facts and it is obvious at 15 that he will notice the difference.
My mother gave the two who are at uni £100 each and spent about £80 each on the younger ones. She has been known to spend £500 on a rocking horse that my daughter adored when she was little, but that was a one- off. DH’s father sends £25 each and his mother gave amazon vouchers £30.