What would you do?

Sit quietly and think it through thoroughly.....the pros and the cons. List them out if necessary. Be true to yourself - make your decision based on your pros and cons list, your comfort level and what you know instinctively as to what is best for you....and for this Christmas.

Whatever you decide, don’t let any indecision colour your judgement - call your family and tell them - knowing that this decision is made by you alone with careful thought about your decision for this coming holiday.

Well done Luckygirl I think you’ve made the right decision and a brave one to boot.
Good idea to have a gransnet social on Christmas Day for those alone. I’m lucky enough to have my husband but will want to wish everyone a merry Christmas on Gransnet.
I can’t agree with others who’ve said to go another day. If germs are spread on Christmas Day they’ll still be there in the week to follow.

Yes, mental health is at stake here as well. It's challenging to know how to address mental health concerns with the knowledge of possibly becoming physically ill. Again, tough choice no one should have to make.

When trying to decide what would be best for my mental and emotional health, I always think that if I became ill, my mental health would pretty much collapse, whereas at least if I can stay reasonably well, I can keep going until the vaccine/the Spring taking one day/week at a time.

grandtanteJE65 - great that I have got to the age of 72 and can still surprise people!

This is a very tough situation that many of us face around the entire world -- families, friends - the holiday's & seeing one another. It should not be this way, but it is. I'm sorry you are having to make such a decision.

For myself, I would not go. You are aware of the situation and if you do decide to go, no matter if you spend just an hour there, there is a risk. Yes, you will get to see your loved ones but at what cost? Only you can decide if you're comfortable participating with the situation being what it is.

Yes, mental health is at stake here as well. It's challenging to know how to address mental health concerns with the knowledge of possibly becoming physically ill. Again, tough choice no one should have to make.

We are responsible for ourselves and our choices. I hope you find some peace in whatever you decide to do

It surprises me you need to ask. Stay at home.

If you are afraid others will back out so you can go and you don't want that, wait until the week before Christmas or the day itself to say you are staying at home and why.

Why risk another 20 or so (don't know how old you are) Christmases by taking a risk and celebrating this one? It makes no sense to me. The government has only relaxed the rules for Christmas because they know they will largely be ignored anyway. Come mid-January many people are going to regret what they have done.

You have to stick to your guns, Luckygirl. That’s better than regretting possible outcomes later.

I wouldn’t go. Even for an hour. I think there will be a surge in cases with families getting together. Just one person with the virus could infect everyone else.

Don't risk it when we are so close to a vaccine.

I really wouldn’t go. This is how the infection will spread. I honestly think that this five days, although I can understand how people want to see family, will be catastrophic in terms of spreading the virus and all the lockdowns and tiers will have been a waste of time. I’m staying home on my own and am quite happy about it.

Could you see them on Boxing Day when not so many people are in tge house?

That's good Luckygirl.
I'm sure they'll find ways to show they love you - and keeping you safe is one of them.

Well done on making your decision, Lucky. Very difficult indeed for you. First Christmas after my H death I escaped on a European break. Unfortunately that's not an option this year. I've had many Christmases alone and haven't found them awful at all. As long as there are injections of contact from those you love then physical distance doesn't seem so bad. Good luck with your planned move. You'll certainly need all your strength and resourcefulness for that. Stay content in that you've made the right (and understandably brave) decision

Thank you everyone for your supportive posts and suggestions. I have told them that I will not be coming at Christmas - normally I stay over from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day.

They are concerned about it, as they know that my first Christmas as a widow is when I really need family around; but I am clear that this is the right decision and I am sure we will find ways of "meeting" either virtually of outdoors.

Maybe we need a gang of Gransnetters who are on their own to have a thread of their own to send Xmas wishes.

Sleepygran

Could you say on Christmas Eve develop a sore throat and decide to self isolate? Then on Boxing Day start to feel better?

Best idea of all!

Could you say on Christmas Eve develop a sore throat and decide to self isolate? Then on Boxing Day start to feel better?

I am afraid I do things I don't want to do very often as I don't like rocking the boat. The same this Christmas, for two weeks after I will be looking for symptoms.

This is awful - anxiety for 2 weeks, and maybe an actual severe illness, all to be 'polite'.

Luckygirl if you really think it would cause difficulties to say beforehand that you're not going - just phone on the day to say you feel unwell (dodgy tummy?) so you won't be coming.

I certainly wouldn’t go, far too many people. I don’t think the virus waits for an hour before infecting so even a short visit seems risky. My family (all living in tier 3 areas) have decided to have Christmas in their own homes and use tech to share the celebration. Joint decision, no arguments, jealousies or hurt feelings

win

Luckygirl would not be breaking the rules as she is already in the bubble with one family so that counts a one household, plus the other two. However I still would not go. Meeting outdoors sounds a lovely idea to me, you could always take some lunch home with you too to save cooking. I am sure they would be happy to oblige. Hope you have a good day despite Covid

I think (though not 100% sure) that existing bubble are replaced by the xmas bubble. Otherwise you could end up with 6 households all meeting up if they all took their existing support bubble with them! Also it wouldn't be a very popular rule clause because that would mean the person you'd bubbled with year round - for example two single mothers and their kids, would have to choose one single mother's family to stay with over xmas even and stay there together with some family they'd probably never met before and not see their own mother and nan! No I think the existing bubbles are set aside over the 5 xmas days

The risk is too high. Stay home

A bubble is one household so no rule breaking going on. An elderly relative some years ago lost her DH and announced to DC she would in future be spending Christmas on her own. She made it sound lovely- decs, m&s Christmas dinner to pop in the oven, feet up watching TV. Maybe that wasn’t the reality, and obvs you would rather be with family, but you will need resolve- and you have some super ideas. Keep firm, tell them o have a great day, say you are not going for the day whatever changes they come up with, and refer them back to your list. Maybe do a few things with someof them pre-Christmas too. Put a happy face on, rest up for your move, plan a few treats for yourself and you can think of happier Christmases with DH without everyone being concerned about you. Best wishes.

It also depends on what, if any, risk factors you have.

Luckygirl
You have a house move (taking place immediately after xmas???????) the move is in itself one of the most exhausting tasks in most peoples lives xmas or no xmas
Not unreasonable then to back out of the xmas festivities inviting people to your' new house warming' once settled in.

You don't say where you are but in tier 1 it's a maximum of 6 indoors , the other 2 tiers are no one indoors at all - in a bubble or not. People have also been asked not to move between tiers as well.
Personally I wouldn't go. But each area will be reassessed from 16th December, so anything can happen after that