What would you do?

Well you can't go anyway, you'd be risking a fine, as your presence would make 4 households which is one over the allowed amount.

GrannyRose15

I'd definitely go. Sounds like fun with the added bonus you won't have to cook.

??? Seriously????? What a ridiculous attitude!

Luckygirl would not be breaking the rules as she is already in the bubble with one family so that counts a one household, plus the other two. However I still would not go. Meeting outdoors sounds a lovely idea to me, you could always take some lunch home with you too to save cooking. I am sure they would be happy to oblige. Hope you have a good day despite Covid

I don't think I would go. I have a small family, and usually it is 5 or 6 of us on one day over Christmas and even now I am considering whether to take that risk as I am considered clinically vulnerable. Both my sons work at home and one DIL does too. The other however is working in the community and although all precautions are taken there is a slight risk to her. We have all done as we are told for almost a year and it is worth the risk for just one day?

I do hope things work out well for you - just keep yourself safe.

Now that your much needed move is on the horizon of course you are right in not wanting to take any risks. We have told our AC we will not be seeing them over Christmas because we want to be here to see them in the spring. DD not pleased but I don’t think she is seeing it from our elderly and vulnerable point of view. Like your family, our AC and GC are out and about and potential carriers of the virus, so stick sweetly to your guns and see individuals outside as and when you can.

Of course you are not being unreasonable!

Would you even consider gathering anything like this on any other day? - Inside, dining together -etc, all ages mixing.

Oh Luckygirl what a year you’ve had. I understand why your children want to do this for you but gosh it’s too dangerous as you already know.
I think your idea of a socially distanced walk, a quick exchange of presents at the open patio door and a zoom while you eat at home sounds just the ticket under the circumstances.
I know you’ll worry about them all being together but, as you say, they are adults and will make their own decision s, even though we all think they’re taking a big risk.
Hopefully when they know your feelings they will change their plans and be a bit more sensible.
We have told our family that we’ll be staying at home and want them to enjoy a stress free Christmas doing whatever is right for them. Fingers crossed they’re sensible too.

I wouldn't go. Hopefully, at some time in 2021, life will be much better for all of us and family gatherings will be able to go ahead without worries. Keep holding on!

Yes a short visit to wish them all a happy Christmas and maybe, even better, a walk in the outdoors. It has been proved that the length of time being in the presence of the virus (if it is there) is very significant.

I wouldn't be going. One of our son's has suggested we see them over Christmas by being flexible with the rules but he will be seeing at least another 4 households, half with school age children, so we have declined the offer. We will do a round of the family after being vaccinated.

I think you’ve answered your own question already. What about maybe the ones that live closest to you pop in to see you in the morning before they all mix together or even Christmas Eve.

If you are a gambler you may think the odds are worth it but I am not prepared to play Russian roulette. Mixing with several households is a risk, sadly the virus will not suddenly disappear at Christmas so that we can party.

We normally spend Christmas with three of our four children and our two grandchildren, but this year will not be seeing one DS, DIL and both GC as they are the ones who are most out and about.
My other DS is fairly solitary in any case and will come here but we will keep our distance. My DD, a single foster parent and in our "bubble", will probably visit but we are very careful when she comes round and she does not bring her teenaged foster daughter who is at school.
This is particularly galling for us as we have recently moved back to London to be near to them.

I would not go. There is a vaccine on the horizon - plan ahead for the time (whenever it is) to get together. You are not responsible for other peoples' choices - its up to them what they do. But you are responsible for yourself and you sound as if your choice is not to go. So plan the happiest day you can - Zoom the family - and don't worry! Its OK to do what you think is safest and most sensible and you can still send love and cards and look forward to a meeting in 2021. Good luck with the move!

All these absurdly risky Christmas gatherings. I’ve told my family I’d rather be alone at Christmas (a widow) than six foot under next Christmas.
To me it’s like jumping off a life raft into shark infested waters when you can already see the rescue ship chugging towards you .... bonkers!

DH is not only shielding but he'll be half way through a six week course of radiotherapy, We won't be going anywhere.

DD and her family will visit on Boxing Day and we'll hopefully do the outdoor thingy with patio heaters, fire bowl and big fishing umbrellas. Failing that we'll light our large 12Kw woodburner and invite them indoors with all the windows open. It's open plan so social distancing will be easy.

Go with your instincts, Luckygirl. It's good to run ideas past others but I think you already know what's best for you.

I've been invited to my daughter's for the day. Their family (other half and three children) have many contacts. There are two workplaces, two schools, a nursery and lots of friends.

Also invited are my son-in-law's parents (another two work places and very sociable/lots of contacts).

It's just too risky, so I've declined. Instead, I'll go for a long walk with my daughter and grandchildren on Christmas Eve. They are not very happy about it - but they know, only too well, that once I've made my mind up, that's it.

That sounds like the right decision for you Lucky. What a difficult year to begin to live with bereavement.
Try not to worry about your family. As you know, worry changes nothing. You're right, they are adults and will make their own decisions.
I hope it all works out for all of you.

I have told them all that I will not be staying this Christmas - it feels like a big challenge for me as this will be the first Christmas since my OH died, and ideally I would have been in the bosom of the family. But what has to be, has to be.

Now I am worrying about them - there will be 13 of them on the day and I do not think they should be doing this - but they are adults and have to make their own decisions.

Garden visit and walk sounds good.

Regardless of the “rules”, those numbers, and the fact that the others mix a lot should be the deciding factor. I think you have come up with some good ideas, doorstep visit to exchange presents, Zoom lunch etc, and I hope it all works out.
I am going to pop over to my daughter’s, maybe on Christmas Eve, to exchange presents on the doorstep. I expect my son will FaceTime me, but as he has not been in touch for about 5 weeks, I am not holding my breath!

That sounds like four households, unless I’ve misunderstood, and we are only allowed 3. So there’s another excuse for you not to go.

Some good ideas there Luckygirl I would go with the garden visit and walk providing the weather is reasonable.

It's difficult isn't it? We always go to my sister's but our two nephews, who live separately, will be there. They have been out working, mixing with friends, girlfriends etc. We won't be going. I hope you sort something out Luckygirl.

I think if you went that you'd feel on edge all day anyway, Luckygirl so wouldn't really enjoy the day.

Your suggestion of popping over with presents ( all wearing masks) then perhaps one of them could bring you meals on wheels with you joining in on Zoom sounds like the best option.