Christmas disaster

Thia one wasn't my disaster, but I remember a tale from the past. The maid was bringing in the turkey to the Christmas dining table, where the master of the house waited to carve it at the candle-lit table amid the gleaming silver, when she tripped on the rug and the turkey went flying. As she trembled with terror, the mistress said "Never mind, Mary. Take it back into the kitchen and bring in the other one ! " Understanding dawned, she smiled with relief, scraped up the turkey and trimmings and retreated to the kicthen, returning in a few minutes with the other one and a broad grin.

Christmas dinner was usually at our house (my DM was no Delia - and that's being kind about her cooking skills!) and my parents would come for the day.

One Christmas, however, we were invited to theirs. The sprouts were bubbling away and the potatoes were ready to go in the oven, but there was no smell of a turkey cooking. Yep, DM had forgotten to light the oven!

Merlot we could have done with your FiL's sandwiches that day!

My mother was making Christmas dinner for us all plus grandmother and a great-uncle and decided to have it around teatime as "no-one would be wanting to eat at midday after wading through snacks all morning" so as well as all the turkey etc she prepared a whole lot of home-made and delicious finger food to be on tap from early morning until late afternoon. Great-uncle whinged all day asking where his dinner was, while eating his share and more of the bits and pieces, and for years afterwards he continued to complain every time we saw him that she owed him a meal as she had cheated him out of one - and on Christmas Day too. It is just possible he was joking, but unlikely - he didn't have much of a sense of humour.

merlotgran your FIL in law sounds like a very difficult and disagreeable man, your poor DMIL. In my family it is the other way around, my late DFIL, was the sweetest and most patient of men, and my MIL was the difficult one. In laws are sent to test us at holidays!

Father in law had type 1 diabetes so when they visited for Christmas everything had to be timed around his insulin injection. He was not an easy man to accommodate at the best of times but with DMiL's help I normally had it off to a fine art.

One year though we had a power cut when the turkey was only half cooked. Panic! Disaster! You'd have thought the world was going to end.

DH swiftly jointed the turkey and lit the barbecue. We had portable gas rings because power cuts were a common occurrence so I knew the veg wouldn't be a problem and with everyone mucking in lunch was served bang on time.

Except.....The Christmas guest from hell had made himself a large plate of sandwiches which he devoured while we were all busy which meant he couldn't eat anything else for a few hours.

He sat and watched us making the best of a difficult day moaning that his Christmas was ruined! When the power finally came back on he expected DMiL to cook for him!

Fortunately, we all saw the funny side of it and for years afterwards DS would march into the kitchen about an hour before dinner was about to be served announcing he was going to make 'The Christmas Sandwiches'

One Christmas Eve I went to the local newsagent to pay my papers

Friendly with the couple who ran it. They asked me if I'd like to go into the back for a glass of gin and a mince pie. I thought it a lovely gesture so I agreed.

Five hours later, my husband is on the hunt for me. This was pre mobiles. My two youngest children were playing the game of Let's Look for Mummy

I was eventually found and led out of the shop or dragged even. I'd been having a wonderful time and didn't want to leave!

That Christmas Day was dreadful. I had the most horrendous hangover ever. We were hosting, but thankfully Mr Lucretzia does all the cooking so I just sat there. Trying to smile and look engaged. It wasn't easy. But I'm pleased to say the children have no recollection of this so it didn't ruin their Christmas.

I'd not drunk gin before that day I've never drunk gin since

Also a turkey one due to DH! We had a large houseful, around a dozen for Christmas, Boxing Day and beyond and had ordered a suitably large turkey. On Christmas Eve DH goes off to collect it. I am worried when I spot him coming out of the car merrily swinging a small box. He should have been staggering with the bird in his arms!

Investigation shows that he has brought back a 10 lb bird, not the 10 kg we had ordered. DH's response is that 'It's all right, we will just have a small slice each!' This bird has to feed twelve of us for three days!

I ring the farm, and they fortunately have another even larger bird left which we can have if we bring the tiddler back.

The atmosphere is not good between us, so SiL offers to return the bird. He steps out towards his car, swinging the box, and the base opens and small turkey descends gracefully out of the bottom onto the gravel path. At this point I am furious with the lot of them, having to spend some time removing the gravel and cleaning it before packing it and securing the box with packing tape.

DH decides he ought to step up, SiL now having starting imbibing Christmas spirit, and sets off for the farm,

At this point our Christmas is saved, the farmer says it must have been his error, gives us the extra large bird, and also a beautiful joint of roasting beef.

This is the difference between us. DH has been collecting birds for at least 40 years. He knows the size we have, yet didn't see anything wrong with the small box he was given!

Blimey! That was a disaster!

It has reminded me of a friend's experience.
Lunchtime on Christmas day, friend looks out of window and is horrified to see DDog in the garden, merrily and enthusiastically tucking into a large, cooked turkey.
After a quick check, it transpires that it isn't their turkey...