The Gransnet Virtual Christmas party 2020 with Ensure NutriVigor

I used to worry I was schizophrenic but we're both OK with it now

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are 50cents
Deer nuts are under a buck!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year - here's hoping for a better 2021!

Trifle, there has to be a Christmas trifle.

Oh yes, the best meal because all the pressure is off!

(No HP sauce - just leftover gravy, thoroughly reheated of course.)

And on Boxing Day, the traditional heart-attack-on-a-plate bubble and squeak fry up brunch with all the leftovers, served with HP sauce and a couple of Rennies to follow.

My perfect Christmas dinner is very traditional, but it's the extras that are really non-negotiable. Bread sauce, cranberry sauce, and rum sauce and brandy butter with the pudding. A starter that has to include prawns and smoked salmon and a good cheeseboard afterwards. And plenty of wine and liqueurs....

A couple were visiting Moscow, taking in the sights of Red Square, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No," she said, "that felt more like snow to me." “No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he insisted.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a serious domestic about whether it was raining or snowing.

“Let’s not fight about it!” the man said, "you see that guide, the fellow with Rudolph on his name tag? ask him whether it’s officially raining or snowing.” As the tour guide approached, the man said, “Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?” “It’s raining, of course,” he replied officiously. But the woman was adamant, “I'm sure that it felt like snow!”
The man quietly replied, “Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!“

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were too deer!

I will bring sausage rolls and something unidentifiable in a Tupperware dish ( Having a clear out of the freezer)

Happy socially distanced Christmas to one and all. 2021 has got to be an improvement!

Thank you for inviting me to the party. I’m bringing with me Caviar, Lobster and a magnum of Dom Perignon.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL THE LOVELY LIVELY GRANSNETTERS. May your worries be few and your health be high.

Waiting for my first grandchild to arrive due on 12th but no sign of coming yet..Excited but not sure how I will feel being a grandmother.Should be the best end to a difficult year and someone to look forward to getting to know.

Good King Wenceslas phoned his local Pizza Hut and ordered a pizza. "Would that be your usual sir"?

"Oh yes...I'd like it deep pan crisp and even"

How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

Happy Christmas everyone, let hope that 2021 will be better than this year. Stay safe and strong.

What a lovely idea, thank you for inviting me to the party. I have brought sausage rolls, canapes and a bottle of Prosecco.
It's been a strange year to say the least but I'm hoping 2021 will be much better. I'd like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy New Year.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree

Very good

Hi, can someone tell me how I can make a comment on the forums? I can’t seem to log in ...

Merry Christmas from Brian the dog and myself , hoping you all have a happy , peaceful time xx

Q. Why does Father Christmas have no children

A. Snowballs!

Hello

Hope this is ok, I work for WEA and we are putting on on Christmas Day various events for anybody to join free. I have attached the leaflet should anybody wish to join via Zoom - we can all have some fun together, whether its taking a virtual walk or chatting about the Queen's speech.

www.wea.org.uk/christmasdayactivities

See you there

When is this party? I cannot see date or time of the event !

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.

Have a Happy and Safe Christmas everyone and a much more enjoyable and sociable 2021. Fingers crossed for next Christmas. ??

Some very funny jokes in this thread. Thanks everyone for the early morning chuckles.

Hope you all have the best Christmas possible. Wishing you all good health in the new year.