The Gransnet Virtual Christmas party 2020 with Ensure NutriVigor

Q. What do elves learn at school
A. The elf-abet
Merry Christmas to everyone, let’s all wish for a kinder Covid free 2021 ??

Hope all of you have a Merry Christmas, and manage to enjoy yourselves. X

Due to the corona virus and the rule of 6 restrictions this year Santa is only allowed 5 helper for 'elf and safety'!

Which Xmas film was 30 years ahead of it's time....Home Alone
Merry Christmas to everyone!!!!

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.?

Happy Christmas to all of you dear GNers
A joke a little off color.
Why don't Mr & Mrs Santa have any children? Because Santa only comes once each year and it's down the chimney.

Can I post another joke?
(And I'm with Pittcity about Christmas dinner - one which someone else has cooked )

The list usually adds up in our household due to individual must haves, so, cranberry sauce, pigs in blankets, stuffing, and xmas log for those not keen on xmas pud and brandy! The other bts are a given.

One of the variants of the Danish traditional Christmas dinner:

Roast pork with cracknel served with boiled red cabbage, gravy, boiled potatoes, and small potatoes caramelized in sugar and butter.

This is followed by a pudding made out of rice, boiled in milk, cooled until completely cold, then you add a little sugar to it and finely chopped almonds before turinng it in whipped cream.

Before eating, you add one whole almond, the person who finds it in their portion gets a small present. The pudding is eaten with cold cherry sauce with whole cherries in it.

This is eaten on Christmas Eve in the evening and the tree and presents follows the meal.

Later in the evening we have coffee with some of the traditional Christmas biscuits. Now-a-days, I have cut back a bit and only make three or four different ones, instead of the seven I used to make. But I still bake enough for them to last until Twelfth Night.

Happy Christmas!

Our Christmas dinner is usually wonderful (cooked by my sister so even better). We have turkey, beef, stuffing, mashed and roast spuds, pigs in blankets, lots of veg, yorkshire puddings and gravy. There is always a choice of puds and some fizz to drink. We won't be going this year but never mind. I could eat I now!

My ideal Christmas Dinner is one where somebody else does all the work. Not fussed about the food as long as there's a nice glass of fizz.

We have traditional Christmas Dinner, but prefer chicken to turkey. All the trimmings, followed by Christmas pudding, brandy butter and cream. Nut roast with the vegetable trimmings for my vegetarian granddaughter. Wine to accompany the meal.

GeminiJen Your turkey pic /joke is brilliant!!!

Why do the pirates have to go into lockdown?
Because the Arrrr rate has risen.

Merry Christmas to all Gransnetters.

Why will Father Christmas have to work extra hard this year?

Because his usual helpers are 'elf- isolating'.

Sorry!

A man and his wife went for Christmas drinks at their local pub, sitting in the corner was a woman, drunk, singing with her Christmas hat over one eye, surrounded by friends.
The husband looks over to her and sighs
Do you know her ? says the wife
Thats my first wife , the one I divorced over 10 years ago says the husband.

Wow, says the wife and shes still celebrating!

What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs

Situpstraight2 a great joke and only a little bit rude. I thought it was very funny

Who is hiding out in the bakery ?
Mince spies

A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee.
“A sore knee?” the doctor said. “Have you tried icing it?”

Or.......

How did the bauble know that she was addicted to Christmas?
She’d been hooked on Christmas trees all her life.

Boom! Boom!

Singalong or make up your own version to the tune of The 12 days of Christmas..

One the first day of lockdown all I had with me was
An earworm of this mel-o-dy etc

12 tricky jigsaws
11 unread emails
10 tins of tuna
9 hours of daylight
8 friends on Zoom
7 chocolate biscuits
6 cryptic crosswords
5 toilet rolls
4 bottles of wine
3 face masks
2 library books

and an earworm of this mel-o-dy

What is Santa's favourite pizza?

Deep pan, crisp and even

What is Dominic Cummings favourite Christmas song- Driving Home for Christmas..... Happy Christmas everyone

What did Santa do when he went speed dating???

He pulled a real cracker