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The Gransnet Virtual Christmas party 2020 with Ensure NutriVigor

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NatashaGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 14-Dec-20 10:25:42
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A festive hello to all gransnetters! tchsmile

As everyone else seems to already have their fairy lights twinkling and baubles out, we thought it’s time for us to do the same. So welcome everyone to our annual Gransnet Christmas Party. As health has been top of most of our agendas this year, we’re thrilled that Ensure NutriVigor is sponsoring this year’s festivities.

Not only that but they are giving one lucky gransnetter on this thread a £100 voucher to spend at a shop of their choice to start the new year in style (usual competition T&Cs apply). The winner will be picked at random from all who comment on this thread by 11am on 1st January 2021, so don’t forget to pop on and wish your fellow GNers a merry Christmas! flowers

It’s fair to say 2020 has been a bit of a shocker, and we know that because of health concerns, long distances, or many other reasons, plenty of you will be spending Christmas on your own. Which is where the Gransnet Virtual Christmas Party comes in. No need to battle the ghastly traffic, icy weather or smile through the sprouts. Simply don your sparkliest finery, pour a glass of your favourite tipple and come join us for some good company, virtual mince pies and questionable taste in Christmas decor - we do gaudy very well here at HQ. tchgrin

Everyone is welcome (as long as you bring something tasty to add to our virtual buffet) and even if you’ve got a busy day planned do pop in and wish your fellow gransnetters a Merry Christmas.

In the meantime shall we get into the spirit with some really cheesy Christmas jokes? Who’s first?

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HillyN Tue 15-Dec-20 23:42:57

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Ball?
He had nobody to go with!

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JessK Tue 15-Dec-20 21:58:30

What do they sing at the snowmans birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow tchsmile

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Carado Tue 15-Dec-20 21:43:23

What did Adam say on 24th December?
It's Christmas, Eve.

(OK, I know one's Old Testament and one's New, but it's a magical season)

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GeminiJen Tue 15-Dec-20 20:48:48
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I can identify with this one ?

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Situpstraight2 Tue 15-Dec-20 19:39:56

My Grandad always said to me that when one door closes another always opens.
He was a rubbish cabinet maker.

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duncanbrown Tue 15-Dec-20 17:58:18

What goes “oh oh oh?” Santa walking backwards!

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Daddima Tue 15-Dec-20 17:11:33
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They may not get a big crowd!

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grannydarkhair Tue 15-Dec-20 16:51:08

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles!

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Situpstraight2 Tue 15-Dec-20 16:01:53

Don’t drink and wrap Christmas presents.

Oh and if anyone gets a TV remote from me for Christmas , I’m going to need that back.

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luckybean Tue 15-Dec-20 15:58:20

What did Father Christmas call his dog?
Santa Paws

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Molly10 Tue 15-Dec-20 14:57:37

What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Santatizer!

(sorry the way this year has been)

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Molly10 Tue 15-Dec-20 14:53:23

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf farm.

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tarakate Tue 15-Dec-20 14:25:09

Situpstraight2

A rude one, so don’t read if easily offended and it’s only vaguely Christmassy.

Guy walks into a bar on Christmas Eve, with 2 gifts, gets talking to the barman and tells him that he’s dating a twin and there is a gift for each of them.

Wow, says the barman how do you tell them apart.

Well, says the guy, Lucy wears blue nail varnish.

And Bob has a D**k.

Literally laughed myself off my seat with this one! The kind of madass inanity is fabulous. Thanks Situpstraight2!

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craftygran Tue 15-Dec-20 12:30:43

Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!

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LindaKnits Tue 15-Dec-20 11:56:18

Why was the snowman rummaging through the box of carrots?

Because he wanted to pick his nose!

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123wheee Tue 15-Dec-20 11:46:20

Happy Christmas to you all.
Found this one that made me laugh -
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, 'How do these represent Christmas?' Answer: 'They're Carol's.'

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Nannan2 Tue 15-Dec-20 11:30:04

Two m.p's sat in house of commons bar (sorry, canteen!) - one says "do you know any jokes?" Other replies "Boris and cummings" (Both cant stop laughing!)??

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MadfromWales Tue 15-Dec-20 11:26:18
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There - greetings from Wales. Suisei is getting into the festive spirit tchgrin

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MadfromWales Tue 15-Dec-20 11:24:25

Haha ? the joke is that my zip wire santa gif isn't working grin

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MadfromWales Tue 15-Dec-20 11:23:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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MadfromWales Tue 15-Dec-20 11:23:24

Hi there I'm new and I would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas, despite the awfulness of 2020. There is always hope of better days ahead shamrock
media.tenor.com/images/5f9dcbd994b36170355a8dd2bfa07abd/tenor.gif

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Daddima Tue 15-Dec-20 11:15:45

Pittcity

Here's my favourite this year.

We have a winner!

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Vintager Tue 15-Dec-20 10:32:36

What’s the difference between St George and Santa? One slays a dragon and the other drags a sleigh.
Ta boom!

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gillyknits Tue 15-Dec-20 10:04:41
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I liked this one!

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joannapiano Tue 15-Dec-20 10:03:41

A man went into an optician’s and said, “When I look at shops they all seem in darkness. “ And the optician said, “You must have 2020 vision.”

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