worried about christmas

I’ve gone off gift cards, preferring cash. There’s no time limit, no selected shop to spend it in, no restrictions. The recipient can do as they please. I like the idea of Secret Santa.

Bah humbug! For the last few years my family has stopped giving gifts to one another!
It was getting silly! I spend £x on my children who want for nothing (they have good salaries, nice houses & cars etc) & they spend a similar amount on me, buying me stuff I don’t need or want.
It was a load off all our shoulders and a huge relief .
We had a conversation about it & we were all in agreement. Works for us! Try it.

My mother got to the stage where she couldn’t face trying to think of suitable presents any more, so she got a box of nice chocolates for everybody, and added some cash. By that stage there weren’t any young children to think of, though.,,

I made a hamper for my daughter a couple of years ago, I included a big fleecy throw and filled it with nice food and sweets/chocolate from Lidl's 'finest' (or whatever it's called) range. Tailoring it to what she really likes. Wilko now sell the basket and hamper straw for around £6

I haven't read the complete thread so sorry if this has been suggested. I've found an organisation, bigbarn.co.uk. It lists independent producers of all sorts of things in your area e.g. food, drink, candles, soaps. I'll enjoy visiting to them and putting the items in a pretty bag along with a voucher from a retailer suitable for the recipient. I'm not dismissing money and vouchers if people find it difficult shopping in these times.

I am a firm believer in “Secret Santa” for the adults but of course it is really only practical if you are going to be together.
Because Paw’s sisters, nephew (now with a girl friend) and BIL and sometimes niece, have always seemed to be included , with 18 (plus 4 dogs ) we are just too many people to get round a table - even D1’s huge table. I would have them here but I just don’t have the space.
However, presents for adults could easily be dispensed with, or replaced with donations to charity
Our first Christmas a month after Paw died was a very important one to us but nobody was in the mood for presents, we just wanted to be together.
Think presence not presents.
(And DeeDee please think next time you brush someone aside who is recently bereaved. There is a whole thread about insensitive comments- you might try reading it) )

We’ve done different things over the years but have finally settled on giving cash along with small, thoughtful and personally meaningful stocking stuffers. I only have a single grandchild ( 2 YO) so he gets gifts from the list his parents furnish. Then we focus on time spent with one another, special once a year foods and perhaps a shared experience like a movie outing.

I am having the same nightmare. All my family have so much. Designer clothes, massive salaries. I worry so much about what can I get each person. I will ask this year. Money is useless when they all have so much

What a lovely family you have travelsafar. I am sure the uppermost thing on their minds is to be there for you on this first anniversary?
Your family won’t be looking for gifts from you. I would be honest with AC telling them you are finding things a bit stressful this year so will buy gifts for younger children if they could give some ideas and cash for older children enclosed inside a card.

Why not, for a change, do a Secret Santa with all members of your family. Put a limit on how much you can spend say, £25 or £50, put your name on a list of things you'd be happy to receive and put them all in a pot. Everybody pull one out and just buy for that person and mark the present "from the family" or "from Santa" rather than the family member's name. Then there'd be no competition as to who buys the best gift and everyone would at least get something they'd like. It would also save everyone money.

If you can afford it money,if not baking nicely presented,or if you don’t feel up to it fancy box of chocolates—I have a friend that gives me a mix of homemade baking and it gives me a lovely tray to put out in addition to stuff I’ve made——- main thing is do not worry,they love you and don’t want you to worry.Look after yourself ??

We all agree to spend no more than around £20 and also having the challenge of buying something the recipient would really like for no more than £5 from a charity shop. It means each person has had to put a bit of thought into the gift, but not at major expense and it makes it a bit of fun.

I’m in the same position, my first Christmas without my lovely husband who died in August, I’m starting to dread it. I usually love the build up to Christmas, decorating the house etc but it just won’t be the same this year. Christmas lunch is going to be hard so it’s probably good to try & do something a bit different this year. My children have already been asking me what I want to do but I just can’t get my head around it yet. Hard for them all too, first Christmas without their Dad & Grandad.
As for presents, I ask them all what they would like up to a certain amount, so they all have a nice gift to open on Christmas morning, it’s easier with the younger grandchildren. I tend to shop on line once I know what they want. I always get a large gift bag of foodie treats for each of my children’s families, nice biscuits, craft beers, chocolates etc, bits from the local shops.

I shop with Amazon a lot, not just at Christmas, and I don`t feel the slightest bit guilty, they`re a boon as far as I`m concerned.

How about given each group something like a cinema card or a voucher to go for a meal or even a Amazon voucher, Tesco/Morrison's do a range of vouchers apart from their own they can then enjoy a nice family great time during the dark gloomy days of January/ February.

Just be aware the Post Office vouchers have a time limit- then they start taking a percentage off the value of the voucher. Read the t&c s.

Don’t know if you are craft/needlework -minded, Worried, but will give my suggestion anyway.
Trying to cut down on outlay over Christmas a few years ago, I started casting around for ideas I could make. One year I did paper white narcissi in nice bowls with twigs gathered from the garden and Christmas wreaths made from red Cornish beaches decorated with evergreen leaves, a bit of ribbon and a few berries added last minute. Another year I put Christmas rose plants (white hellebores) in bowls and gave those. Another time I did jars of home made chutney, lemon curd and sukkah, sets of 3 with pretty cotton caps. Last year with time on my hands, I made quilted cushions from fat quarters. This year I thought I might make home made fudge and marzipan and walnut chocolates ( would have to find some boxes)
I have always found recipients very pleased to get a handmade present. A soft toy would be nice for small GC, an unusual cushion for an older one.
Was very embarrassed one year when invited to DIL’s parents for Christmas Day. Her mother said presents for younger generation only which was fine (Phew!) then another guest handed around small gifts for everyone. We are invited there again this year, they are lovely and have come to ours too, but wil “arm” myself with little bottles of sloe gin just in case.
Of course, I appreciate that not everyone has the time or inclination to make stuff, particularly if recently bereaved or unwell, but it suits me

Amazon vouchers seem to be the andwer to me. They can be delivered on the date if your choice via mail. For a small gift I would go with a bottle or chocolate.

For adults, we find hampers make a lovely gift and there are so many companies out there who offer them, they’ve always been gladly received by those we have given them to.

I go to M&S, and get gift receipts for everything. Stops me worrying about right size, right colour etc. Budget of £25-30 for close relatives. (And no, I don't work for them!)

We usually give the four grandchildren money, but this year I am going to sponsor a donkey for each of them too. Their parents will get a gift box of Scottish smoked salmon delivered to their doors, and I will source some letterbox gifts via Not On The High Street for friends, also delivered direct. Sorted!

What I do now is ask them what they would like that i can buy on the internet. I usually say up to £30 and they send me a list. If they live far away I have it delivered to them direct. I have e two sons, two DILand four granddaughters, I treat them all the same and it seems to work well. And its easy for me, no trawling round shops. And they have the present of their choice on the day.

Be careful if you buy gift cards, tried to use 2 today only to be told they are out of date ?.

What about a foodie gift? Ie bake a cake or maybe make fudge? Or money/ vouchers for teenagers , poss hamper type gift for adults … Hotel Chocolate do lovely hampers ( not necessarily huge) or put a hamper together yourself with things you know they like eg, bottle of wine , chocolate, favourite beer etc ?

There is a program called "Giftster" where members of a group - a family or group of friends can list wht presents they would like. All members can see what everyone else wants and when some item is chosen you mark it as bought. It might be helpful, particularly if you've got a child or grandchild who is internet-savvy. Just a suggestion.