Gransnet forums

Christmas

worried about christmas

(124 Posts)
travelsafar Thu 07-Oct-21 11:42:50

I am already starting to worry about Christmas. I dont know what to buy people or how much cash or vouchrs to give. My middle son is taking me out for Cristmas lunch as its the first year with out DH and he thought being in a happy enviroment might take the edge of things. I Am with my daughter, other two sons and the rest of the family on Boxing day so i dont have to worry about entertaining and getting lots of food shopping in. But the thought of going round the shops or trawling the internet for gifts is making me axious. Everyone seems to have everything they want and i just have no idea what to buy!!! Help, ideas please.

grannylyn65 Thu 07-Oct-21 11:45:30

Vouchers

Kim19 Thu 07-Oct-21 11:47:35

T, how about asking the recipients if there is anything they would particularly like you to buy for them? I've done this on occasions and been pleasantly surprised by the helpful and positive responses.

Calendargirl Thu 07-Oct-21 11:48:51

Hard cash,

vegansrock Thu 07-Oct-21 11:52:28

Secret Santa with the family everyone just gets one decent present off a wish list.

wildswan16 Thu 07-Oct-21 11:54:30

Absolutely just go with vouchers. This year I am trying to find vouchers from independent businesses in their location, but all the normal High St shops would enable them to find something - John Lewis, M&S etc.

You can add in a small wrapped gift of toiletries or nice food if you like.

Most people over the age of 12 prefer being able to buy something they really want (or need). I am sure your family would rather you didn't stress about it all. Enjoy your lunch and family visits.

Jane43 Thu 07-Oct-21 11:54:45

I always ask family if there is anything they want and invariably they say they are saving up to buy something and ask for money. One DIL has a list and I usually agree to buy her something on her list. We used to buy grandchildren a gift agreed with their parents but the youngest are 12 and 11 now and prefer money. We just give to immediate family, we agreed to stop buying for other family members a few years ago. I do miss wrapping presents but it is a lot less hassle these days.

hazel93 Thu 07-Oct-21 11:57:52

You obviously have a very caring family, so deep breath, smile and stop worrying .
Simply ask them ! No idea of their ages or if you have grandchildren but these days I request a list and choose from that, far better than giving something nobody wants or appreciates.
Another thought, as your DH is no longer here how about a photo album for each of your children ? Simple to do online and sure would be treasured.

NotTooOld Thu 07-Oct-21 11:59:11

How about Amazon vouchers? I know not everyone is happy about buying from Amazon but they do have a massive selection of stuff to suit both young and old. It is also very easy to print the vouchers out and then you can include them with a Christmas card. It's probably what I will do this year.

Grannynannywanny Thu 07-Oct-21 12:05:04

I have 2 adult children and 4 grandchildren. We only buy for the children and the adults have a secret Santa draw for a £25 gift. My brother and my daughter’s in laws participate in the Secret Santa. So 8 adults but just one gift to buy. It works well and it’s enjoyable on the day to see what everyone has chosen for their gift recipient.

choughdancer Thu 07-Oct-21 12:08:28

After many years of worrying over what to give people, how much to spend etc. we (my mum, brother, sister, two daughters, granddaughters) buy second hand books from charity shops or online, and give each other a stack of them (4 - 5). Sometimes I make edibles to give too. I find it stress free, as it has not harmed the environment, has contributed to a charity, and if the recipient doesn't like one of the books, there are more to read. My daughters are particularly good at choosing books for me!

Chestnut Thu 07-Oct-21 12:12:53

On Elfster everyone can put a link to all the things they want (Amazon or whatever) and the family can choose what they want to buy someone. Then mark it purchased and the other people can see that someone has bought it and won't buy the same thing.
www.elfster.com/home/

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 07-Oct-21 12:29:27

A bit off thread perhaps, but for people like me who hate buying from the demon Amazon but do because they have everything and deliver yesterday, have you heard of Amazon Smile? If you google it, it’s the usual Amazon but they give a very small percentage of the purchase price as a donation to your chosen charity. It’s only a little but it adds up. So you can feel less guilty buying from Amazon that way!

Namsnanny Thu 07-Oct-21 13:06:11

I'm with the vouchers suggestion too.

The other thing is to do as we did and book a pantomime or show for after christmas some time, for close family.
Not a simple answer because the dates and venue have to he discussed and agreed on. But it gives everyone the chance to catch up when Christmas is over, and things are a little flat.

Judy54 Thu 07-Oct-21 13:08:51

Secret Santa sounds a great idea and saves all that worry of what to buy for each individual. Put the money that you would have spent on all those gifts into buying one quality gift. Job done!

Visgir1 Thu 07-Oct-21 13:13:51

Voucher yes.. Or as 1 did last year for my SiL in Scotland (we normal go up and see her ) a Hamper from M&S. She was thrilled with it.

MissAdventure Thu 07-Oct-21 13:14:15

I'm sure your family will appreciate whatever you do, so please don't worry.
You've had a hell of a time, and they would, I'm sure, be upset to think of you worrying about something so unimportant, in the grand scheme of things. thanks

Newatthis Fri 08-Oct-21 11:05:40

I think the post office do a voucher that you can spend in numerous shops. I got one afew years ago. Otherwise - a family hamper?

Awesomegranny Fri 08-Oct-21 11:08:42

It’s one day, the biggest gift is being with your chosen family or friends. Everyone seems to have all they want , so gift token if that’s needed so they can choose their own . After all does anyone like gifts others have chosen for them?

polnan Fri 08-Oct-21 11:09:42

This thread should be read in conjuction(sp?) with the thread about MP`s salaries, and also thought with the same thought, (I won`t try to spell conjunction again! oh I see I missed the "n" letter out..

so.. read and think of this in conjunction with the MP`s salaries, the cuts(!) in Universal Credit and .. now what is that footballers name? who is trying to get everyone onto the same level of income? ...well .... such a minefield for discussion on incomes, cost of living, etc. etc. etc..

wondering if ,, is it Finland that has a basic income for everyone?

Modompodom Fri 08-Oct-21 11:13:28

I am shouting my daughter and son in law bed, breakfast and evening meal at a lovely hotel in Sussex the weekend before Christmas. It is also DDs birthday. Something different. The older GC will get money and a couple of stocking fillets. The youngest will either get something on his list, or money towards it. I have already bought a couple of small things, and the Celebrations are on top of the cupboard as they are on offer at the mo!!!

Sardinia2020 Fri 08-Oct-21 11:14:34

I really don’t like vouchers. Agree a limit for gifts and ask people what they want.

Nannarose Fri 08-Oct-21 11:17:41

I agree with a family outing, assuming you can afford it, and get everyone together. We often would do a cinema outing, a bit easier to organise and a bit cheaper than the theatre

icanhandthemback Fri 08-Oct-21 11:19:19

I ask my family what they want and they know how much is allocated to them. If they have no idea I buy them LoveToShop or One4All vouchers as they can spend them in a variety of different shops or I give them the allocated money. One thing I hate is to waste money on something they don't want. Although I found it irritating when my daughter was young that she couldn't find the mental energy to look enthusiastic over a gift she didn't want, I do wonder if we just encourage wasteful spending by being polite.

henetha Fri 08-Oct-21 11:21:27

Vouchers are often the answer really. But buy some little gift to place the vouchers in. For girls, a pretty little make up bag, or purse maybe. For boys, chocolates, or a wallet possibly.
Some people like it if you make a donation to a charity, - wildlife or similar,- on their behalf.