Christmas drama, mum being awkward

Your mother has been invited, she has chosen not to go. It's not like she didn't have the option. Go to your inlaws and enjoy yourself. Tell your mother to let you know if she changes her mind. You don't have to plan Christmas around her and it's unreasonable of her to expect you to.

I agree you are concerned about leaving your mum but you deserve a break. Your mum was invited but refuses to go that is her choice not yours. Go without feeling guilty and enjoy your special day don’t allow your mum to ruin it.

Go and spend Christmas with your in laws. Just do it. Your mothers decision not to join , she had the opportunity but decided against it, don’t be guilt tripped into saying no. Your in laws will be thrilled, you can have a break, if you were my daughter I would come with you, if I didn’t want the hassle send you off with good will. Enjoy.

Yes, in this instance, I think you should go. You never know, once she’s mulled it over, she might decide to come, too, but otherwise arrange a separate get together with her either before or just after Christmas Day.

I agree with the others. Go and enjoy yourself

Maybe your Mum is looking forward to not having to go

Gosh it sounds like she is being a martyr. If you host Christmas again you will be doing it for the rest of your mum's life.
Call her bluff and do not feel guilty. My guess is she will end up coming with you. If not let her be. You go and enjoy Christmas.

Nothing to add to lemongrove's response. Go and have a great day.

Yep. Call her bluff. Just go as invited and tell her she's welcome to come with you if she changes her mind.

I would accept the invitation and go to your MIL’s house as planned.
Your own Mother has been invited and chooses not to go.
It’s only for one year and you have always hosted it in other years.
80 isn’t ancient!? It’s lovely of you to think about her needs but unless she has health problems which mean she shouldn't be alone, then don’t feel guilty at all about accepting the invitation.

As your mother has expressed a preference to spend Christmas alone I’d let her do that. Otherwise you’re making a rod for your own back. Go to your in laws, enjoy yourselves and arrange another day to see your mother.

How far do you live from her? Can you make a special day for her at home the Sunday before? Or on the 24th? Resentment does not help anyone. If she'd rather be on her own, why not- her choice.