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Christmas

Am I wrong to feel hurt about this?

(164 Posts)
Growing0ldDisgracefully Tue 28-Dec-21 13:19:40

A friend and I each year, give each other a little parcel of a small inexpensive gifts, eg a scarf, maybe a book or a little kit to make craft items, and sometimes the odd find from a charity shop. What I'm trying to say is, it's not about giving and receiving expensive gifts, just trying to give small thoughtful gifts.
This year one of the gifts from this friend was a box of tea, with a use-by date of 2003! Yes that's right folks, 18 years past the use-by date. I could have laughed that off as probably a charity shop buy done without the benefit of her specs at the time, albeit I did feel a bit hurt by it but trying to be positive maybe I can find a use for the box itself for something else.

However, what has been the real Christmas cracker is that she has messaged me to say one of the other gifts was not for me, and can she have it back.

Of course I shall return it, but just wondering how to approach this and what the collective wisdom on here would advise? I don't want to spoil the friendship over it, but I do feel pretty hurt by it.

And, so as not to make this a whingeing thread, how about other Gransnetters posting about humorus presents they've given or received, or ones that have had people scratching their heads? Come on, give us all a giggle!

TiggyW Thu 30-Dec-21 00:40:30

I’m with Martin Lewis when it comes to Christmas presents - agree not to buy any except for close relatives! Spend the cash on what you really want/need or give to charity instead.

Hetty58 Thu 30-Dec-21 00:55:19

TiggyW, yes, we all did that years ago, friends and family. It saves a lot of hassle - and you get exactly what you really want too. We just buy a lot for the children and have a little secret Santa (£25 limit) for the family adults with Elfster.

PattyFingers Thu 30-Dec-21 07:43:57

Invite her round for a cup of tea and make her drink it!

Suzey Thu 30-Dec-21 08:37:39

This year my husband received a beard grooming set from my daughter in law and son ,he's never had a beard !

Shelmo112 Thu 30-Dec-21 09:32:16

I, like many others, exchange small token gifts with a group of friends. This year I received a huge M&S hamper from one of these friends. Others in the group received smaller versions of the hamperfrom the mutual friend . Why did I receive the massive one ? It's the reverse of "the packet of tea" but just as intriguing............

justwokeup Thu 30-Dec-21 11:21:33

I actually gave the horrendous present. In my newly married days I bought a candlestick for a friend and wrapped it. OH said didn’t people buy pairs of candlesticks, not just one? So I rushed back to the shop, got another, and wrapped it. Yes, of course, when she opened them they were different! She thought it was hilarious. I hope her ex still has them, he deserves them!

Lucca Thu 30-Dec-21 11:33:11

Kate1949

When my husband was a boy, he bought his mum some sanitary towels for Mother's Day. He could only read the word 'towels' so assumed they were towels for drying hands.

? you remember those awful ones with loops ? A friend of my mothers little boy decided to decorate the sitting room with them a la Christmas decoration. Embarrassing when she had visitors and hadn’t realised…..

Magnolia62 Thu 30-Dec-21 12:43:08

Am I alone in never having regifted a present to someone else? If I receive something I don’t like I either just give it to someone else I know will like it with an explanation, or give to a charity shop. Some of these stories are hilarious though.
I admit that one year my son bought me a bottle of perfume that I had previously smelled and really disliked. It was a popular one and not cheap. A few weeks later I found the receipt in his room and was able to exchange it. I didn’t tell him though.

Grandmagrim Thu 30-Dec-21 13:18:37

My BIL always gives my children old Christmas decorations for Christmas. I think he’s slowly emptying his loft. ?

OmaLoocie Sat 01-Jan-22 03:11:50

Years ago a work colleague 'friend' handed me back the present I had given her for Christmas - a scented candle in an unusual, prettily decorated tin - telling me she preferred to receive chocolate. I'd also bought one of the candles for myself because I liked them so much and thought she would, too! Mind you, I perhaps should've realised her tastes weren't the same as mine when she complained about the Christmas card I'd given her the year before, advising me on opening it that she didn't like that particular type of Christmas scene... Our 'friendship' died a natural death... ?

FarNorth Sat 01-Jan-22 14:00:51

OmaLoocie that's understandable as you didn't want 'that type' of friend. smile

Esmay Sat 01-Jan-22 17:17:30

I think that Christmasses spent with the in laws can be an ordeal .
I found my in laws house really cold and dirty .Neither did they keep a good table.
We used to eat with the TV at deafening volume on battered trays perched on out laps whilst the cats helped themselves off our plates .
As for gifts -they were awful . Usually secondhand clothes which had been repaired wrapped in the same paper used for years .
I smiled politely through it, but what really galled me was my mother in law constantly mentioning my husband's first wife.
Their marriage was a disaster and finished within a year .

I vowed that my children's spouses and partners would never endure uncomfortable visits, but they don't seem to keen on coming and can't even be bothered to answer calls nor texts !

LovelyLady Wed 05-Jan-22 23:32:57

I like the idea of passing on gifts that we have been given if they don’t fit our life style or if money is tight. Just don’t see the problem. Buying from charity shops, again what’s the problem.
Tea doesn’t go out of date, it used to come in tea chests from the tea plantations and lay in storage for many years.