Too many Christmas lunch invitations

GrannySeaside51

I am my own worse enemy Blondiescot suffering from a lifetime of wanting to keep everyone happy. From the replies here, I’m going to turn down the one I’m yet to respond to and for my neighbour's lunch I’ll join them for coffee at the end of their lunch. Sorted!! ?

I totally get that - I've spent the best part of my life trying to keep everyone else happy, often at the expense of my own health and sanity. But the older you get, I think you come to realise that you really don't have to please everyone. I hope you enjoy your festive celebrations when they come.

MawtheMerrier

I often think it’s a pity that we concentrate so much on Christmas lunches when if you stagger it over Jan/Feb you get better value for money and it helps see you through two of the dreariest months of the year!

Apart from mince pie and 4 separate Christmas dinners for our daughters, I prefer no "Christmas" lunches, meals, foods on other days.

I'm very selective to invites I accept.

Well done making a December decision that works for you.

I think you would get very fed up with the food if you attended them all . Unless it is a high end restaurant I find Christmas lunches out not great.

Obviously attend the lunch you help organise and the neighbours one at the pub. It's only once a year just eat what you want maybe ask for doggy bag for the next day.

This thread has made me think of The Vicar of Dibley.

I am my own worse enemy Blondiescot suffering from a lifetime of wanting to keep everyone happy. From the replies here, I’m going to turn down the one I’m yet to respond to and for my neighbour's lunch I’ll join them for coffee at the end of their lunch. Sorted!! ?

Sorry, my comment wasn't really intended to come across as ascerbic. But 'no' is a complete sentence - decline the invitations you don't want to go to and don't feel that you have to explain yourself in any way.

I think if you explained that you are already committed to some dates but are willing to pop in at the end for coffee, no one should be offended. In our current financial climate I wouldn't expect everyone to accept every invitation they get and personally would expect some refusals without being offended.

I was reminded of our first Christmas in our own home(our first one we lived with my in laws). We had our lunch then went to visit DH's parents. They had lunch waiting for us! We kept quiet and struggled through it- stuffed. We then went to visit my parents - they had waited to have a late Christmas lunch with us! We were very polite and said how lovely and(like the vicar of dibley) ate what we could. I cant remember eating anything on Boxing day wonder why. All so we didnt offend either of our mothers

The thing is Grannyseasider either say no to the ones you’re not so interested in or go and perhaps only have one course making it much cheaper You can quote your small appetite although really you don’t have to give a reason it’s just your choice Be glad you ve got lots to look forward to
I ll just have the one but that ll be a treat

Nice to be asked although can be expensive as you have found out. Go to the one you are organising, another if you want to , but kindly refuse the others

You go to the one you are organising and then dont go to the rest.

Blondiescot Hey well done, someone had to be first with an acerbic comment ?. That's just what my eldest daughter would have said ?. I posted this because it was first world conundrum going around in my head and I was interest see what others would do in the same situation.

Just say no! Sorry, but talk about your first world problems...

I often think it’s a pity that we concentrate so much on Christmas lunches when if you stagger it over Jan/Feb you get better value for money and it helps see you through two of the dreariest months of the year!

I would attend them all other than date clashes (of course) and keep my expenses down by sticking to water. Totally agree about the portion sizes but I'm really there for the social occasions. Good luck with you final decisions. ?

GramKerbs I belong to several U3A groups and they have individual group lunches. Also I am a joint leader of one group who always has a Christmas lunch so can't not, go to that as I am helping to organise it.

Grandmabatty Popping in for coffee at the end of lunch is a wonderful idea - thank you. Yes, it seems that payment for the set price menu is expected. However, I've since looked at one of the menus and there's a choice of a two or three course meal. If I go for 2 courses, a starter and dessert is ideal for me.

Perhaps say you are otherwise engaged but could meet up after lunch/dinner for a drink and short visit? Would that work?

You must be a wonderful friend to have so many invitations.

Best wishes!

Do you have to pay for the full meal each time? It might be possible to just have one or two courses which would be cheaper and more manageable for your appetite. You could say to your neighbour that you have another engagement and can't make it. It's an invitation not a summons. Or say that you unfortunately have something on but might manage to nip in for a coffee at the end of the lunch

So early we haven’t even thought about Christmas yet even my work group which I will go to haven’t gotten anything organised yet k

aonk you beat me to it.

Yes, simply say that you have been invited to many Christmas Lunches in a pub and you cannot go to them all, the cost, and the fact that nobody wants six or more Christmas Lunches!
Be very selective with the ones you attend.

I wish I had so many invitations! Having said that I do understand your predicament. Perhaps you should accept the one from your neighbours as it’s nice to keep that relationship going. As for the others you can either tell them that you can’t manage to go to too many lunches because of the expense or plead another commitment. You could always go and do your Christmas shopping!