Secret Santa - to do or not to do?

I’m confused …. I’ve never done it ,but with secret Santa group don’t you just buy for the one person who’s’ name you ‘pull out of hat’

Do the secret Santa, enjoy your group and it’s traditions. It’s £10 and it’s a nice thing to do as a group 😊

Lathyrus

Oh wow. It didn’t occur to me you meant £10 for each of them😱

Same here, I thought it was just one present; wow, that is a lot of money for presents. On that case I would say to the group what you intend to do instead of buying individual presents- maybe, as an alternative suggestion thst you just have a Secret Santa for one person in the group rather than the whole group?

Perhaps you could persuade the group to give to charity too or make up a shoebox for a teenager in care. So much nicer than a present nobody really wants.

LRavenscroft

Sincerest apologies, Everyone! It suddenly occurred to me after I had posted that the bit about £10 was misleading. It is indeed £10 for one person in the group, not £10 for each person. I wouldn't be broke! Thank you for all your replies. They are very much appreciated.

Phew!!

Good luck on Tuesday - hope you reach an amicable decision.

I must admit I never see much point in Secret Santa. Buying a fairly rubbish present for someone you hardly know? I've never received a nice gift and those I've given don't seem to be liked.
The idea of baking something sounds good though, I would have thought it might be good to convert the whole of your Secret Santa circle to this idea?

We had a secret santa at our WI when most people ended up with something they neither needed or wanted. I suggested last year we brought something for the food bank instead and that was so popular we are doing it again this year, we have a collection point in the entrance to the church but this is an easy way of reminding people and two of our members volunteer at the food bank so take everything in

I'm involved in one SS, limit £5.

I look to the Charity shops in my area for pretty holiday crockery. Bake a delicious nut free, cello wrap, gorgeous bow - place in box for secrecy.

Always makes people happy, it seems.

Farzanah

I must be rather miserable but can’t believe this silliness still goes on because I’ve heard so many who resent/dislike having to participate.
At our book group each month, not just Christmas, everyone brings a luxury, but not too expensive item for the food bank.

That is a very good idea. We do that at my WI.

I must be rather miserable but can’t believe this silliness still goes on because I’ve heard so many who resent/dislike having to participate.
At our book group each month, not just Christmas, everyone brings a luxury, but not too expensive item for the food bank.

You might not be the only one in the group wanting to knock it on the head LRavenscroft, but the bravest one to speak up.

Oops, I should have read a bit further - I see it is just one gift for £10. Glad you’ve reached a decision you are happy with LRavenscroft 😁.

I, too, thought the idea of secret Santa is that you bought one gift only for the person whose name you drew out of the hat. If you’re all buying 10 gifts then doesn’t that mean that you all will receive 10 gifts, you just won’t know which person bought which gift you received? (I’m asking this because you mention £100 spending).
Anyway, back to the posters query - if you prefer to donate your £10/£100 to a charity, just say that’s what you would like to do this year rather than be part of the secret Santa so that way you won’t receive a secret Santa gift either. Instead only 9 of them will be participating.
We used to do secret Santa at work, but there was no pressure to be part of it - it was up to the individual. Those participating bought just one gift at a pre agreed budget.

We don’t do a name thing just put the present in the middle of the table and pick one out

lovebeigecardigans1955

Stick to your beliefs OP and do yourself a favour (and the rest of the group) by saying so as early as possible so that you can nip any present-buying a nip in the bud, as it were, and no-one wastes money by getting something for you.

Yes, I agree. Good idea. It will be Tuesday when we next meet and I will tell them of my decision then. Thank you.

Oh spend your £10 and join in it’s a bit of fun after all
Our group has a £5 ceiling which is nothing it’s only once a year Our charity shop sells lots of things (new and unwanted or new and regifted) for a fiver or under I d be annoyed if I got a card to say I d just donated to something I didn’t agree with or wasn’t interested in and it will set you apart to say I don’t want to join in
That’s what I d do anyway

Stick to your beliefs OP and do yourself a favour (and the rest of the group) by saying so as early as possible so that you can nip any present-buying a nip in the bud, as it were, and no-one wastes money by getting something for you.

I took part in a Secret Santa last Christmas. The brief was to spend £2........yes, I know, rather frugal to say the least.
Anyway, I selected a lovely unisex gift that was actually marked down from a fiver, so a real bargain. We had been asked to wrap the gifts and mark them 'male', 'female', or 'unisex'.
When it was my turn to choose a gift from the pile of female gifts I was so disappointed to open it and discover that it was a cheap and nasty bottle of mens aftershave that I had seen on sale for 99p!
NEVER AGAIN!!!

Sincerest apologies, Everyone! It suddenly occurred to me after I had posted that the bit about £10 was misleading. It is indeed £10 for one person in the group, not £10 for each person. I wouldn't be broke! Thank you for all your replies. They are very much appreciated.

All the Secret Santas I've ever taken part in have involved buying one gift only for one person whose name you have been assigned.

Are you sure that this particular SS involves buying a gift for everybody? That would be unusual and unreasonable.

I agree that SS is usually one gift per person - it's not very secret otherwise .

I think a more sensible gesture would be to ask if people would make their gift to you a donation, not for you to opt them in, so to speak. I am in a SS with an online group I belong to, and was surprised to find how many people there are for whom the SS gift is the only one they get. It seems presumptuous to tell people that this gift is going to be donated to a charity of your choice whether they like it or not.

If you no longer want to take part (which is understandable if you are having to buy 9 gifts!) then I think you should say so now, so that people haven't already spent money on your gift and potentially wasted it. Alternatively, you could suggest that everyone buys one gift which means that you all buy and receive one as opposed to nine. It can either be a lucky dip or someone can organise things so that you buy for a named person so that you can get something you know they will like.

So every year you’ve been receiving 9 small gifts from the others? That does seem excessive and a possibly a waste. I would not be surprised if some members think ahead and built up with buy one get one free biscuits or shower gel or something throughout the year. For now if it were me I’d do as others have said and suggest it starts working like secret Santa usually works and everyone agree to absolute max £10 for one recipient - after all it’s nice to give and for some might be one small thing to look forward to.

I understood a secret Santa to mean everyone picked a name out of a hat and brought one present anonymously. Buying ten presents sounds excessive and I think you should raise the matter for discussion in the group.
Your second point about making a donation in lieu to your favourite charity I don't support; it is imposing your charitable beliefs on other people. Better to say you don't wish to receive a gift this year but if people still wanted to give, you would be pleased if they made a donation, amount unspecified, to a charity of their choice.

Surely the idea of secret Santa is that one gift is bought by each person then it's lucky dip. I would suggest this to the group. I'm sure that there's others who think the same. In any event you do need to say that you are not participating this year.

rippleeffect.org/

I sometimes buy from here for my grandsons.