Secret Santa - to do or not to do?

Goodness Me £100.00 ....secret Santa to me is buying one gift for the name you have pulled out bag then wrap it and put it in the box on the day they are to be gifted 🙂🌲🎄🌲

LRavenscroft. Your gesture may be just the prompt others in the group were waiting for 👍

We do a Christmas tree decoration exchange at our WI. What I find is a buy a Christmas bauble I really like and end up getting another that I’m not so keen on.😆

Virtue-signalling.

Coco51

Don’t be sanctimonious about it - absolving your decision by ‘giving to charity’ Just say you are not participating. By all means donate to the charity of your choice but quietly.

Please don't be so rude using the word 'sanctimonious' and 'absolving my decision'. I came on here to ask for genuine opinions as to what people thought of me possibly donating my money to an animal rescue centre instead of buying some rubbish the other person doesn't want and which I certainly don't want to receive during these cash strapped times. Indeed, I telephoned the organisers who are cat lovers and they think it is a brilliant idea. Another man is also joining me. So, £20 going to a good cause at Christmas. What's not to like?! Sanctimonious, not!!

Lathyrus

Hmm. Should we not think about what makes other people happy too😀

Can you stay part of a group if you go your own way?

Just philosophising here.

I called up the organisers of the poetry group and they think it is a brilliant idea. Another man is following suit and most of the group are cat lovers so what's not to like? Thank you for all your points of view. All's well that ends well!!!

The only time I've ever given to charity as a gift for someone was when my mum was very old and she had everything she needed or wanted. I bought a gift from the Christian aid gifts selection as she was a supporter and chose items for a school in the third world as my mum had been a teacher. I told her I was doing that and she seemed pleased. Sadly she went into hospital before Christmas and never came out. When sorting her things we found wrapped gifts in her room that we had to find homes for. They weren't labelled so couldn't be returned to sender. So glad there wasn't one from me!

I have re-read your letter. I don’t think this is a Secret Santa, it’s buying 10 prezzies. I would never have got involved in the first place.

I was in a book group and we had secret Santa. It was stipulated that all gifts should be bought from a charity shop and cost no more than £4. Perhaps the idea could be floated in the poetry group if it's not too late.

On a bright note, out of 10 members there might be others that think it's a good idea to give £10 to a charity of their choice this year.
Make a suggestion?

Don’t be sanctimonious about it - absolving your decision by ‘giving to charity’ Just say you are not participating. By all means donate to the charity of your choice but quietly.

Hmm. Should we not think about what makes other people happy too😀

Can you stay part of a group if you go your own way?

Just philosophising here.

You do what makes you happy. It doesn't matter what other people think

Wise words indeed!

Well I think donating to an animal shelter is a lovely idea. LRavenscroft
I'm going to take some treats and varied food down to our local shelter at Christmas.
You do what makes you happy. It doesn't matter what other people think.

The 'rules' of all the secrets Santas I've been involved in, require the organiser to putall names of gift participants into a hat then the gift givers secretly draw one name out, and purchase a gift to the agreed limit for the named participant, wrap it and then put it anonymously, with a gift label with the recipient's name on it, in a sack or box for distribution at the agreed time. A variation on this theme where some participants don't have a spare £10. is to do Poundland Santa, where all gifts are purchased from a pound shop.

we do them at work but it's opt in or out

HettyBetty

Casdon You missed the sarcasm. Have a lovely evening.

I believe there is a saying about that!

Casdon You missed the sarcasm. Have a lovely evening.

I usually take part in three gift exchanges. All have a limit of £5. One gift to buy for each and then we have several games that we play to see which wrapped gift you get. No pressure if you don’t want to buy a gift , you just don’t get one back.
It is just a bit of fun.
This year I have decided to buy gift tokens from local shops and wrap in a small box.

HettyBetty

Casdon plenty of joy of many sorts in my life but thank you for the concern.

You missed the point of my post. You can’t make a value judgment about what other people should do based on your own preferences. Many people get joy from presents, they are not wrong just because you don’t.

Casdon plenty of joy of many sorts in my life but thank you for the concern.

HettyBetty

Adults don't need presents.

Speak for yourself. There’s nothing nicer than an unexpected and thoughtful present. Most people want some joy in their lives.

Adults don't need presents.

As it is a book group what a out A twist on the charity shop idea. Everyone donate a book they have enjoyed festively wrapped. Not a new recently punished one, perhaps one you enjoyed years ago or pick up a copy in a charity shop if you see one, and everyone gets a pick. If someone has read it she can put it on the table and someone else could swap and hopefully everyone would go home with something new to read. Or something along those lines. I'd certainly be happy with that. I did once get a great secret Santa of a little toolkit, much better than a prosecco gift set or body lotion. Unless it is a joke one or a charity shop one they do work best if you k ow the person pretty wdll
If the rescue is a charity and you can gift aid then donating the money can be a good way of increasing the value of the donation. I know aot aren't tbough

Maybe have an ethic of kindness rather than of what is right? Ask the group if this is the year to donate all your £10 s to a charity / food bank? If they agree, fine. If they prefer to keep up their little tradition, join in with good grace.