What my 13 year old GS has requested for Christmas

I give my 5 grandchildren, ages 7-26 £50 each to spend on what they want.

How times have changed, when I was about 13 and asked what I wanted for Christmas I can remember asking for a Bambi Stapler. I got a beautiful little red one. Fast forward 50 years and yes, I still have and use that stapler and it means more to me than a bottle of cologne which would get used up and forgotten perhaps. I think that sometimes, children don’t give much thought to gifts, and possibly need some guidance. It may well be what he wants, but it’s not very meaningful or personal, I also think that expensive cologne for a 13yr old is ludicrous, but then I am the sort of person that does not latch on to the next trend but prefers individuality and character.

I buy just one luxury in life and that’s Chanel No 5….. you’ve asked and he’s told you. Buy it for him …. you cannot instil your values into him by denying something….there are other ways. When my son was 15 he wanted expensive trainers whereas my budget for them was £15 … the ones he wanted were £40…( were talking 25 years ago) …so he did some jobs for neighbours to earn the extra money….bought them….and grew out of them in 4 months…as they do! He’s never bought designer clothes since. Yet weirdly his older sister was never into designer stuff as teenager …all charity shops ‘Bo-Ho’ fir her…but since she’s been a big warmer it’s designer all the way …but does not encourage it in her kids!

‘Big earner’

My 9yr old asked for a tesla car as he can't drive yet and it will drive him

Gin

I asked my son for ideas for a Christmas present for teenage GS. I have just heard he wants a bottle of Prada Ocean, a cologne or aftershave in my language. The smallest size cost about £45! Am I being a meanie refusing to buy it? He is turning into a label conscious lad only wanting expensive named brands. I feel it is a trait not to be encouraged or are most youngsters like this? He is my youngest GS by many years, am I out of touch?

This is the going rate for most decent colognes/aftershaves these days.
As is the same for ladies perfumes.
Just buy him what he’s asked for if you can afford it.
My DD has asked for Lady Gaga perfume £55 for 50 mls on offer from boots. Yes I’m getting it for her.

Good grief! It's a waste of money buying something you think is appropriate and they don't want.

I suppose I am not your average Nana and would get them what they want. I did with mine when they were young.

As a youngster/teen I had parents who did not understand a teenager needs. Though then I was able to work after school and bought my own.

My mom was 36 and my father was 49 when I was born. My mom as I learnt over the years wasn't the problem. It was my father.

My youngsters got the named gear they wanted growing up and I certainly have no problem doing the same with my grandchildren.

Birthdays are £50 each for the adult youngsters and partners. Christmas is £100 each for them either by cash or gift. The same for the grandchildren.

We give the eldest grandchild £100 in cash for Christmas and the £50 for his birthday has he is 13 now.

Because of my own story I know I am more open to my offsprings wants. Though I wouldn't give more than I can afford.

I save year round for Christmas and birthdays.

It's within what I spend on my DGC so I would buy it.
If it's more than you spend give cash towards it.

I set a budget for each of mine and get whatever they want up to that (or cash if they are saving for something) its usually around £50 each, which as I have 7 DGC and 3 children is reasonable, but I dont see it as my job to police anyones present choices; yes I would rather they asked for science sets or tickets to a show for example but eldest DGS (12) has asked for xbox vouchers and one DGD (11) has asked for money to spend on clothes so thats what they will get.

As regards cash, one very memorable Christmas for teen dds (now in their 40s) was when dh’s much younger brother joined us for Christmas. They rarely saw him and except for once*, he’d never given them any presents, whether b-day or Christmas.

To make up for it - as he said - he gave them both 2 x -£50 notes! Their faces were a picture! (Should add that he could afford it.)

*That very differently memorable ‘once’ was when dd1 was only 2 - he gave her a cartoon-strip book of political satire entitled ‘Cuba for Beginners’!

Of course I laughed. ‘John, she’s two!’
‘Well, it does say for beginners,’ he replied.😂

Better to give him something he wants rather than something you think he should want! If it is too expensive for you that is a different thing and you should say you weren't planning on spending that much.

Gin

Well that is me convinced! Tomorrow I shall see if I can find it in the local town. I am not venturing into the crowds in Milton Keynes even for my lovely GS

Probably cheaper to buy it online and have it delivered. Or do a local Click and Collect which is often less expensive than a courier. My daughter likes expensive perfum and I get it for 30-40% off on sites such as AllBeauty or LookFantastic.

My in-laws were always generous with gifts but often wasted money on things that weren't appreciated, but they weren't keen on giving money. On the other hand my mother always gave money to us to spend on ourselves and the children as she lived much further away and often didn't see us in person. Her approach was by far the easiest to deal with and there were less unwanted gifts cluttering up the house! My GS is too young to express a preference at present so I buy something for him to open and give the balance to his parents to spend as they see fit. Obviously that might change as he gets older but it works for now.
As others have said, teenagers are very brand conscious, but hopefully they will learn to be more cost conscious as they get older if we set the right examples. Nothing wrong with an extravagant treat if that is what he really wants.

Does he know what it smells like or seen it online. Has other have said it depends what you normally spend on your grandkids if mine asked then yes I would buy it but if it’s more than you normally spend tell your son to try again lol my granddaughter asked me for a electric scooter because her dad and her mum both won’t buy it divorce so separate gifts and I said no because I don’t spend that much on her as I’ve other grandkids to buy too. She laughed and said ok Nanna it was worth a try lol

You should not encourage this nonsense. If he is so gullible about scent in expensive bottles he may well be gullible in more dangerous practices. He needs a good talking-to by his parents.

Inform the boy you will give only something you approve of .

If you can afford it, get him what he wants. It's not a waste of money if he loves it and uses it. Better than something that he'll never take out of the box.

When it comes to fragrances, it's worth looking online as the prices are often good. Obviously you need to buy from somewhere reputable, to avoid fakes, but you can look them up on places like Trustpilot.

However, I have to say that £45 isn't extraordinary for a cologne from a good brand. Just look at the price of perfume - it's staggering.

And any adolescent boy who wants to smell nice should be encouraged!

Provided it’s in your budget and you can afford it I cannot see the issue. It’s up to him what he likes

Caleo - is this some form of irony or are you mad ??

I'm always glad if someone tells me what they would like rather than have to guess. All my GC get money now so they can buy something they like - whether I approve or not is irrelevant. I didn't really like many of the presents I bought my children when they were teenagers but they liked them.

Maybe he has someone he wants to smell nice for ? 😍

No I wouldn't buy it either, £45 aftershave for a 13 yrs old, I dont think so. The last time I visited my grandchildren in the summer, at a loss as to what to give my 16 yr GS, I gave him a tin of M&S biscuits. His face lit up “are these all for me?” Totally delighted- happy GS and happy Grannie - cracked it!!!

It can be a challenge managing their expectations. For his 6th birthday, DGS requested a “real” Apple Watch and a motorbike!

At that age my eldest two grandchildren started getting money from me. That way it was always...still is...their choice what they get or put it towards.

I’m always generous towards my grandchildren and would give them the Earth if I could. Since I can’t do that (!) I buy them what their parents tell me they’d like. A Xmas it birthday present is a gift not a school uniform of something similar. In my book it’s something you maybe wouldn’t buy for yourself. If you can afford it treat the lovely child. I’d have dreamed of something like that when I was young. You are out of touch I’m afraid. Your approval is not needed, the parents are the ones that have that right. Be a lovely nana and do the right thing.

It’s one of the greatest pleasures of grandparenthood to be able to give the DGCs something they want, or need. Why rob yourself of that pleasure? My gran used to give us savings certificates, which earned interest and could be cashed in for the full amount once they’d matured. When I desperately wanted a budge, I withdrew the money from my savings account. TBH, I never developed a savings habit. But I really enjoyed having a budgie!