Treating myself. Living alone

karmalady I've just viewed a list of 40+ beauty advent calendars. I'm very tempted to splash out on one for myself and one for my daughter. Some of them are over £500! I won't be buying one of those but some are a much more reasonable price.

Win for you too xx

Charliebb just for you x

I lost my partner last Friday and have practically spent every moment with him caring the last couple of years but been together for 8 years. I shall volunteer this year, The community do a lovely lunch on Christmas Day for everyone who can't manage Christmas at home, whether they are alone, sick, can't afford it or just done want to be. home, totally free of charge. I shall feel better being amongst others and doing what I can for the community. Lots of towns do the same, so if you fancy that why not have a go, you make so many lovely friends volunteering.

Karmalady , you seem to have Christmas sorted, so impressed with how you look after and treat yourself.
I hope you have a peaceful and happy Christmas.
Charlie I am so sorry to learn your news , what wonderful siblings you have ! It is indeed early days and I am not surprised you are feeling tired and ill . You have friends and the church to support you, so take advantage of what they can do to help. Thinking of you 💐💐

charliebb
My heart goes out to you sending hugs and 💐. Take it one day at a time ❤️

You are so good to yourself! I love reading this and am glad you do this kindness for a little happiness. I do the same around the holidays. For at least 20 yrs.

We are worth it, right?
Cheers!
USA Gundy

Interesting. I'm too mean to treat myself, although I can afford it. I just think that it's not worth it.
Having said tha, I shall go to the local beautician for a manicure - although I don't enjoy the actual manicure, my very ugly hands do look better afterwards!
I have just had quite a nice little win from ERNIE, so shall buy myself a steak.
I'm usually with one of my children form Christmas Day, so shan't be alone.

Sending hugs to you
It’s a tough gig but as time goes by one learns to live with the loss & life goes on in a different way
Baby steps xxxxxx

This second Christmas without DH will be hard as he loved Christmas and all the fuss. A windowed friend and I are planning to spend the day together and will gather up one or two others in the same position if they would like to join us. That way my AC do not have to anguish over who will have mother and I can feel I am doing something positive for others.

I was widowed five weeks ago so I'm in deep grief right now. I don't have any children but my sister who lives in Tasmania got the first flight to be with me for nearly four weeks until after the funeral. My brother who lives over 50 miles away also stayed with me for a few days and helped me so much with all the formalities. He then invited me to his house for the first weekend after my dear husband's funeral and was so kind and generous to me. I don't know how I would have got through those first few weeks without the two of them and feel very blessed to have such loving and caring siblings. Just reached the end of my first week alone at home and it's been so hard. I feel tired and ill most of the time. I know it's early days and I will start finding a way forward. I have a lot of good neighbours and friends from my local church which us very comforting.

karmalady

Lucyanna, prima. I haven`t read it for years, my sister bought one on spec and said how good it is now. I bought the november one and thoroughly enjoyed it, took me days to get through it

Ah - I thought you were going to say Landscape or the simple things

This will be my second Christmas without my dear husband as well, widowhood and grief has been hard. I especially hate going into the winters alone although I have good family support.
My husband always bought me either the gift I asked for or some jewellery which he was always good at choosing. Also he always bought me some slippers, a book and a box of my favourite Anton de Berg chocolates. So last year I bought myself the slippers, a soppy Christmas book and the chocolates and wrapped them up from him. It was so nice opening them having a weep then spending a few days between Christmas and New year enjoying them.
I will do the same again this year, I will also make some mince pies didn’t have the heat last year.

I have just bought another gift to myself

Beyondthepinkdoor. A jacket kit to sew. No guilt even though I have a big fabric stash. Everything included and a wrapped box to open on `the day`

I am trying to avoid buying expensive calorific foods and I get engrossed when sewing, so much so that I don`t think of food nor nibbles

Lucyanna, prima. I haven`t read it for years, my sister bought one on spec and said how good it is now. I bought the november one and thoroughly enjoyed it, took me days to get through it

I had the important conversation, they were all worried about me over that christmas break. I have re-assured each of them, that I will be fine by myself and I could see that `worry` cloud lift from them. No longer any need for them to plan so much and I get to see them for a day during the hols, I like to drive and I leave them early enough so that I don`t have to drive in the dark. I come in and it is a phew, safely home and back in my nest

Part of coping of me bereavement was to make that nest and I have it now

Some good ideas, karmalady. What was the magazine you have a subscription for?

For my birthday I usually choose my own gift (clothing) from my DH, but this year on visiting a craft display I was inspired to buy a Lino cut kit.

It has really filled me with delight as it was pointed out to me by the demonstrator if your own drawing is not too good you can trace from anything you fancy.

This would be an ideal ‘gift to self’ for Christmas as you would have plenty of playing time.

DH would never go anywhere or invite anyone ( after his mother died) on Christmas Day and though we enjoyed our day, I missed not being able to accept invitations from family. The one year I did was the best Christmas, when the grandchildren were 8 and 6, ten years ago. I have already been invited to them this year, but I expect to get invited to my son’s at some point. But I have always found all those in between days long, so I need a plan. Watching this thread with interest.

A timely reminder to have sone treats planned. It’s my 2nd Christmas without my lovely husband. I’m not as raw in grief as this time last year but I miss him so much.

What an organised well thought out plan you have and useful ideas for others to consider. I have a friend who is widowed it did take her a long time to get over being alone. With the passage of time she has now made Christmas a busy and happier time. She started wrapping little gifts for herself to open around the holiday things she considers luxuries.
I hope time spent with your family and friends is joyous and you have a lovely Christmas.

There are some to be had from the charity shop and they can go back after use

DVDs
jigsaw puzzles
books

I was going to try and recreate the irish coffee one year, I really enjoyed that when on holiday as a couple. I tried it last year and ended up pouring the whole bottle of whiskey down the sink. There is no way I will ever turn to the bottle, in fact I don`t like the taste of alcohol so the one bottle of malbec in the fridge, that I use for cooking will be enough for a glass to go with a meal

Sounds really nice Karmalady. We won't be seeing a lot of family this year and even though I work, the festive few weeks seem to drag on. I'll be getting some craft bits out I think like yourself to keep busy.

It's a fine line isn't it between liking ones own bed best - which most of us do- and the well intentioned pressure from family not to be alone! The first Christmas after Paw died (November) I was quite content to let others decide for me but at the same time craved (if that's not too strong a word) my own nest. As Rosie is not what you'd call a "portable" dog, I also miss her when I am away and can say she's my reason to come home ! As for treating myself (well what's to stop me?) I'm not sure but maybe a couple of "projects" or something for others-a sort of reverse Advent calendar or a plan to get out to things more and stick to it.
Food for thought.

Karmalady thanks for that. Widowhood is not for the faint hearted.
As always, you speak to raise spirits, by showing what can be achieved if you have a plan. Loneliness is real and it takes strength to keep mind and body active. It can be done though as you show on a daily basis.
My go-to is current events which, at the moment, worry the life out of me. Then I switch to crochet or baking and if they fail me, I go to bed.