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Christmas

Dealing with unwanted Christmas gifts

(106 Posts)
Judy54 Wed 20-Dec-23 13:19:36

I read recently that a Mother and one of her Daughters put their money together to buy a handbag for her other Daughter one Christmas. Not long after Mother and Daughter who had bought the gift saw it in the window of a charity shop. They went in and bought it wrapped it up and gave it to said Daughter for her birthday. I am not saying that it is something I would do but understand their reasons for doing so. If I receive something that is not to my taste, I try to smile politely and show some gratitude. How about you what would you do with an unwanted gift?

Charleygirl5 Tue 05-Nov-24 19:09:19

Allira why not ask these people what they would like, maybe 2 gift options? They will not know exactly what they will receive but it will be appreciated and used.

AreWeThereYet Tue 05-Nov-24 19:01:03

Skydancer

This is why in our family we don't give presents unless something is specifically asked for. All of us say we have far too much "stuff".

We don't really do presents for adults at Christmas and birthdays either. Children get money or something specifically asked for.

If we see something at any time of the year and think it would be perfect for someone in particular we buy it. In some ways it's better as it's more of a surprise and they're getting something they really want. We do look out for things when we're out and about to make sure we don't forget anyone over the year though.

We bought a painting in a charity shop a few months ago - it's a print, but beautifully framed, by an artist DS2 and his wife really like. They were chuffed to bits as they already had one and now they have the pair hanging in their hallway.

Babs03 Tue 05-Nov-24 15:52:43

I re-gift presents that are not from immediate family, thing is friends tend to give presents early and I unwrap and re-gift if it isn't something we want or need, but I keep a close eye on how sent what. One Xmas I got some soaps I had given to a friend gifted back to me. I didn't say anything, just thanked her.
Thankfully my small circle of friends decided after I mentioned it that we would stop buying each other gifts for xmas and just do birthdays.
We tend to only buy something family members want, they even send links, especially where the GCs are concerned, they have enough toys to sink a ship so our grown family tend to send links for more practical things, or we put money in our GCs accounts.
And our grown family get us vouchers for fun things to do, train tickets, airbnb vouchers, afternoon tea vouchers etc.
They pool their money to do this. My OH and I donate to a charity in each others names.

westendgirl Tue 05-Nov-24 15:50:57

I read that charity shops are appealing for toys before Christmas when they have a great need, rather than after. Time for a general clear out , perhaps so that if you still have any gifts you don't like perhaps give them to the charity shops so they have plenty of stuff to sell.Perhaps you could encourage grandchildren to clear out their toy boxes before Christmas .

Allira Tue 05-Nov-24 15:44:32

Rosie51

Unwanted nice toiletries could be donated to food banks. It makes a lovely little boost for the recipient to receive anything other than the usual basic fare.

Or the local hospital or care home. Not everyone has a relative who can bring in nice toiletries.

Debbi58 Tue 05-Nov-24 15:42:36

My Mum has given me the same style jumper the last 2 Christmases. Just a different colour, she also gives my husband shower gel sets every year , despite me telling her, he never uses shower gel . Our local charity shop does very well out of it

Rosie51 Tue 05-Nov-24 14:18:32

Unwanted nice toiletries could be donated to food banks. It makes a lovely little boost for the recipient to receive anything other than the usual basic fare.

Norah Tue 05-Nov-24 14:14:02

Perhaps give gifts not appreciated to Church - charitable rather than binning. There are always many needs, especially now, in the Church community.

biglouis Tue 05-Nov-24 12:03:42

Why not just give them an Amazon voucher then they can put it towards something they like. It may not be very exciting but at least you know the gift will be useful.

biglouis Tue 05-Nov-24 12:00:39

I deal in antiques and vintage and its amazing the amound of goods which were mass produced towards the end of the Victorian era and onwards. I have recognised "models" I sold in my shop on Pinterest (seemingly in other people's shops or collections) but I can never be sure it is exactly the same one. Even high end designer brands are mass produced so the gifters cannot be sure it was their bag unless it was marked in some way.

Allira Tue 05-Nov-24 11:52:05

Just realised this is an old thread but relevant at the moment.

I am not going to buy anyone lovely toiletries made in the UK (or any) because they get sent to the charity shop, so I have just learned. Not that the person who told me that remembered that I gave them to her!

Three birthdays coming up in the next weeks, too - help!

Allira Tue 05-Nov-24 11:47:46

Frenchgalinspain

Tanjamaltija

The daughter would have been stupid to give the bag to a charity shop in their area...and also, was it a bespoke designer bag, i.e. the only one of the kind to exist in the whole, wide, world? Isn't it nasty for a mother and daughter to gang up on another daughter, though? The word gift is self-explanatory - no strings attached. I rather think that they felt they were being cute. They weren't.

I agree that this was uncalled for by the mother & one of the daughters who was not the one getting the gift. Out of normal protocol totally.

Ganging up ( bullying ) was nasty on behalf of the mother.

I agree.

Handbags are a very personal choice anyway.

RosiesMaw2 Tue 05-Nov-24 10:57:22

Greyisnotmycolour

I've stopped giving people "stuff". I realised that most people don't want something someone else has chosen for them. You can let it be known gently, through chit chat etc with family/friends and hope they puck up on it. These days I give edibles/flowers/ money/vouchers depending on the person. I don't give anything I'd expect them to keep long term.

My solution too.
Boxes of chocolate brownies or bottles usually go down well, flavoured vinegars or garlic/chilli oil for “foodies” , luxury soaps especially handmade, or flowers by post are all my “go to”
We all have too much “stuff” and one persons objet d’art is another’s unwanted ornament!

Charleygirl5 Tue 05-Nov-24 10:55:21

I am now 81 but when in my mid 70's my sister in law gave me place mats for around 3 consecutive Christmases. She knew I had got rid of my large dining room table and why she thought I did not have any prior is beyond me.

Then she asked me and I said a bar of soap expecting to receive a useable one but no, 4 so tiny I could barely see them. They are still in a drawer.

Skydancer Tue 05-Nov-24 10:45:12

This is why in our family we don't give presents unless something is specifically asked for. All of us say we have far too much "stuff".

Witzend Tue 05-Nov-24 10:34:53

I can understand that they were upset, OP, but I don’t think I’d ever resort to that!

I’ll usually include a gift receipt with anything similar. But nowadays, unless I know of something specific that adult dds want, we stick to cash - or edibles for older adults. Certainly we older ones do not want any more ‘stuff’, and as for clothes, I’d rather choose for myself.

Though I have resorted (for dh) to leave a page printed from an online catalogue on his desk, with size and colour clearly circled - to save him racking his brains!

Caleo Tue 05-Nov-24 10:25:15

I wish Aldi gave gift vouchers.

Caleo Tue 05-Nov-24 10:22:55

My son simply says he does not want it and returns it so I can get a refund. Much the best way.

Greyisnotmycolour Tue 05-Nov-24 08:09:38

I've stopped giving people "stuff". I realised that most people don't want something someone else has chosen for them. You can let it be known gently, through chit chat etc with family/friends and hope they puck up on it. These days I give edibles/flowers/ money/vouchers depending on the person. I don't give anything I'd expect them to keep long term.

Fairislecable Tue 05-Nov-24 07:46:50

Reported

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Aldom Sat 30-Dec-23 16:36:54

Notspaghetti my phone is fine today. Yesterday every thread was as you have shown. Eventually it cleared with no intervention from me.

M0nica Sat 30-Dec-23 10:25:52

No, this thread is just like any other and I can read all the submissions without problem.

NotSpaghetti Wed 27-Dec-23 23:04:22

Is anyone else having problems with thus thread?

Kathmaggie Wed 27-Dec-23 21:19:30

I do agree that a little list of something we would love to receive is a good idea for close family members. I am always grateful for any gift that someone has taken the time to buy and wrap for me though. Isn’t giving gifts part of the Christmas story?