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Phoenix’s - Cursing the gammon Christmas may now begin!

(44 Posts)
RosiesMaw Sat 23-Dec-23 08:42:23

Remembering absent friends - raising a virtual glass (as it’s a bit early )
🥃 Our much-missed and loved friend Phoenix
Fri 23-Dec-16 10:02:00

“Start by getting out all of your biggest pans and finding that none of them is quite the right size/shape for the meat. Apply your first curse. Then you set it to boil on your newly cleaned hob, and wait for the spitting and splashing to begin. You can now curse again, even if you haven't rolled a 6.

You then realise that you forgot to make a note of the weight for timing purposes. Rummage in the bin for the wrapper and miss two goes. Now experiment with different positions for the lid in an attempt to minimise the splashing. Have another curse when you realise that none of the positions works. Say to anyone within earshot that it's the same every year, and why on earth didn't they remind you of that when you bought it. (Deflecting blame earns you an extra 10 points and a small sherry).

Realise that you forgot to set the timer, and try to estimate how long it has been boiling so far. Don't worry too much about accuracy; you are bound to be wrong. Apply an extra 30 minutes to be on the safe side, miss one go and have a sherry. After an appropriate length of time, drain and leave to cool. Award extra points if all of the water goes down the sink, but miss 2 sherries if any goes either on the draining board or your feet.

Cover with something to protect from cats (extra points available if a colander will actually fit over it, but deductions if you have to deploy either a tea towel or tin foil).

Apply final curse and enjoy.”

Urmstongran Sat 23-Dec-23 15:07:23

I vaguely remember Phoenix posting (I think). It was not for long sadly. She was definitely one of GN’s great characters wasn’t she? Such a wonderfully clever woman with a GSOH. Wasn’t she interviewed on the radio once (again, I think so).

Thanks Maw for this thread. We need more fun-types on this forum! It’s good to have a giggle.

rafichagran Sat 23-Dec-23 15:26:28

I have just sent that poem written by Phoenix to my daughter about her idiot ex. Thanks Kitty.

rafichagran Sat 23-Dec-23 15:28:22

Yes thanks for this thread Maw, I agree this thread is fun snd remembers a good poster.

M0nica Sat 23-Dec-23 15:32:28

Curlywhirly I will be cooking the gammon tomorrow, this thread has reminded me thta I need to get it out of the freezer and defrost it (1 sherry and 5 bonus points?)

On Christmas lunch time, I slice the gammon, put it on a plate with a bit of stock and heat through in the microwave. It means DH only has one joint to fight at the table - the turkey. Sliced ham can then be placed beside it.

kittylester Sat 23-Dec-23 16:13:01

gn could be very light hearted in the past. Phoenix was good at that.

Think you are right, urms. I think it was about her diagnosis.

toscalily Sat 23-Dec-23 17:04:51

I have just opened a thread on Denim Jackets and started to read and was rather taken aback to see Phoenix's name, checked the date of the thread and it was resurrected from 2020, rather apt that it was today. So a toast to Phoenix and her sense of humour. wine

mrshat Sat 23-Dec-23 17:49:27

Phoenix Greatly missed, one special lady wine

Curlywhirly Sat 23-Dec-23 19:53:39

M0nica

Curlywhirly I will be cooking the gammon tomorrow, this thread has reminded me thta I need to get it out of the freezer and defrost it (1 sherry and 5 bonus points?)

On Christmas lunch time, I slice the gammon, put it on a plate with a bit of stock and heat through in the microwave. It means DH only has one joint to fight at the table - the turkey. Sliced ham can then be placed beside it.

Thanks for that M0nica sounds like a plan for me smile

Oreo Sat 23-Dec-23 20:44:46

Cooking a ham must be the easiest part of cooking anything at Christmas but people seem to do it in different ways, baked in the oven or boiled on the hob.I cook in the oven with a honey glaze, mouth watering just thinking of it, and yeah! Have a sherry or two while doing it.

Iam64 Sat 23-Dec-23 20:50:05

Thanks Maw for the gammon cursing, phoenix was such good fun
I’m cursing a virtual gammon - one of my daughters is hosting, I’m out on Boxing Day so another first - I’m not cooking a cursed gammon
Maybe I will for new year 😊

Deedaa Sat 23-Dec-23 21:08:31

Cursing the Gammon really was phoenix's masterpiece. You could always tell by the title that a post was going to be one of hers. I remember the time Mr P bought her a car she didn't want!

Happy Christmas Phoenix wherever you are.

Grannybags Sat 23-Dec-23 23:26:58

Those were the days! We just don’t get threads like that now

Thanks Maw

Cheers Phoenix 🍷

M0nica Sun 24-Dec-23 07:28:51

Remembering Phoenix, a law unto herself!

Since last year, wheni replaced my small slow cooker I cook the gammonnin the slow cooker. No idea how long, I did it by guess and by God.

I always cook it in a bottle of red wine. It provides lots of gorgeous stock to add to the gravy/soup.

LucyAnna Sun 24-Dec-23 07:36:43

Phoenix and her posts were a delight. I remember her post about transporting a huge hanging basket to the village hall for a Garden show / fete.

Redhead56 Sun 24-Dec-23 09:28:00

I can say I didn’t fight with my gammon it turned out well cooked. All the talk about the struggles with gammon from Phoenix taught me well. 🥂

cornergran Sun 24-Dec-23 21:00:39

Thanks maw. Thinking of Phoenix and the curse when cooking gammon today, she is much missed.

Callistemon21 Sun 24-Dec-23 21:20:11

M0nica

Remembering Phoenix, a law unto herself!

Since last year, wheni replaced my small slow cooker I cook the gammonnin the slow cooker. No idea how long, I did it by guess and by God.

I always cook it in a bottle of red wine. It provides lots of gorgeous stock to add to the gravy/soup.

The year I cooked it in the slow cooker (in cider) it just shredded 😁

Callistemon21 Sun 24-Dec-23 21:21:50

Ps probably had too many sherries and forgot it 😂