Christmas Thank You

My DH always gives money to his DS, DIL and adult GDs. He always sees his DS at Christmas and possibly one GD so gives his DS envelopes for his DIL and other GD but he never gets a thank you from either. I consider this very rude, considering that they are quite large amounts but he just shrugs it off. I’ve stopped buying for neighbour’s children as I never get a thank you either. I was always strict with my DD and ensure that my DGD always sends a thank you card or a video

When they were young our GDs sent a drawing of a small letter All cherished and kept. Now they are grown we often get a text or a WhatsApp thank you. I don’t mind at all as long as they have the good manners to respond.

My son thanked me on the children’s behalf, but they loved them all anyway. I always ask what they could like so it usually goes down well. A thank you letter is always good though.

We always had to write thankyou letters but were given a days grace, so we began the day after Boxing day. All our family are and were letter writers. My father had lovely copperplate handwriting, lovely to look at as well as to read, but we used to say his writing was so good because he wrote so rarely he could afford to be eloquent! I agree that with modern computers , it is easy to send a quick thankyou, but I think later on you may wish you still had actual letters. I have a few treasured tatty letters from my granny that I keep. She was the most important person in my life, and looking at these letters, seeing her handwriting and reading her words , brings her to my mind. After she died, in a car crash, she still was a great influence on my life. If ever I was tempted to be dishonest, unfair or not want to make an effort to help someone, I would look at the handwriting on her letter, and would think "what would my granny think of me doing this?" It is not the obviously wrong things like stealing that you know is wrong, but that suggestion that you could tell someone that you couldnt come after all, when you had been given the chance to do something you would prefer. While your own thoughts would be saying, well that person will never know that you let them down to suit yourself, I would only look at the letter or a picture of my granny, and thought what would she do? When I lived abroad and might be feeling homesick or lonely, handwritten lettters were so treasured and taken out and read over and over. Well keeping in touch with loved ones is the most important thing, so whether you whats app ring or write they will be glad to hear from you

Thankfully my grandsons all live close enough to visit over Christmas and receive their gifts in person. And a hug.I am so grateful for this. I think handwritten letters should be consigned to the past , like postcards when on holidays. Embrace technology for heavens sake! Happy Christmas everyone 🎄

My daughter was taught to write a thank you note and still does at 34! I send gifts to young relatives and yes I do expect a thank you. Not a written note necessarily but an acknowledgement. If I don't get that then I don't buy any more gifts!

My remaining grandparent - the others were gone before I was born - never gave us anything even though she was still working in the two shops that she owned. My children always wrote thank you letters to grandparents. I think that’s more common with girls as they enjoyed the pretty stationary sets I got them as one of their stocking fillers.

I don't really mind at all how the thank you arrives be it text, phone call or in person just as long as they have the manners to tell me they appreciate a gift i have gone to the trouble of giving them. If some cultures don't do this, they should consider the culture of the giver...imo

I remember the thank-you letters vividly. All our grand-parents were in England. I recall after the obligatory’thank you’ the weather seemed to feature largely in these letters! But yes, thank yous were most definitely the accepted follow-on after receipt of gifts. Parcels which missed Christmas by a country mile, but which always contained heaps of English sweets and biscuits, heaven!

We were brought up to write thank you letters, but with the relatives with whom we spent Christmas our verbal thank yous were considered enough. My birthday is in early December (it was last Friday) and I can remember as a small child asking Mum if I could write a combined Christmas and birthday thank you letter. The reply was that if I wanted a present for each occasion, I had to write a thank you letter after each occasion. I can still remember writing a letter to my aunt and her family when I was eight and including the line “l hope you are all fighting fit.” These days, in the midst of being the chief (only) Christmas card writer in this house and with all the other numerous preparations associated with the event - as a musician l am involved in a lot of carol services - l text or WhatsApp my thanks instead. My children were always expected to write thank you letters, too.

widgeon3
I agree. You have gone to the trouble of choosing and sending a gift. Even a quick text, call, WhatsApp to let you know the gift has arrived would be nice.

We are a mixed culture family. One group finds it most strange to write any sort of Thankyou note
They tend to think that it is the older relatives who are required to send gifts on any suitable occasion without any requirement for a reciprocal note
On one occasion, however, when I had no idea of the complexity of the situation, the mother of the girls (my d-i-l) decided that they had too many presents and withdrew mine, explaining that she had already put 50+: presents each under the Christmas tree.!

Perhaps I shall try to be charitable here and say that her customs and mine do not often coincide.
However the older daughter needed to know why, too, and why grandma never sent them a gift ( she doesn't now as this usually most affable d-i-l has her own regulations and culture
I said I couldn't explain but she should ask her mother
Oh dear

Local GC thank in person or ring to say thanks.
Distant ones used to thank us as part of the Christmas Day Facetime. That developed into an email, then a message on the phone.
Now they’re older and usually ask for money I do a bank transfer and send a message in their Christmas card asking them to let me know the money is safely there. That always produces a thank you.
We always wrote thank you notes, even for locals, but with the cost of postage. . .

I find it hard to understand why anyone would say that they don't need a thank you. My granddaughter is nearly eighteen and has written a thank you letter to us every time she has had a gift. Some years ago when my great nephew was probably about six months old at Christmas, I sent a gorgeous pair of pyjamas with a little giraffe in the pocket, wrapped it in lovely paper and sent in the post, tracked. I never got a thank you or any kind of acknowledgement. Surely you don't think that is acceptable. I unashamedly say when I give a gift I want a thank you. What does that make me?

In some cultures thank yous are not needed and if anything rude as the giver is blessed to be able to give. I don't expect thank yous from my grandchildren. I feel privileged to be able to gift them things they like and always ask the parents' advice first re acceptable gifts.

Yes, I was made to write thank you letters for both birthday and Christmas presents. I also made my girls do the same and then with technology they used to do them on old desktop with a Christmas pic and we printed them off and they signed them. Now...???? My daughter always sends a thank you message for their presents.

That’s old to still believe. Are you sure they are not just pretending? Most children pretend to carry on believing long after they know the truth, sometimes for the sake of a younger sibling or cousin.
I gave up sending presents to my great nephews and nieces as I never even knew if they had arrived. I actually never see them. We only keep in touch on Facebook,
My daughter’s children ( almost grown up) are brilliant at saying thank you. They used to write letters but now it is a text if I don’t actually hand a present over in person. My son’s children rarely thank me - never have- if I don’t see them in person.

My GC have very good manners and always thank us in person or on the phone for presents, days out, meals etc. BUT at age 12.5 and 10.5 they still think that Santa brings the Christmas presents and we have to label them from Santa. I can't believe either of them do actually believe in Santa - but they are going to Lapland next week!

One year my 10 year old DD wrote her letters before Christmas but left a gap to mention what the present was . They always did thank you letters .
My DGC always say thank you after they have eaten a meal , no matter how modest , at my house .

Witzend

A set of children’s stationery - small lined sheets with little envelopes - were a standard Christmas present when I was a child. And yes, we had to write a proper letter - at least one side in our best handwriting.

We will always see the Gdcs on or very soon after Christmas or their birthdays, so will get thanks and a hug in person.

I used to love those stationery sets. They usually came in pretty folders with matching paper and envelopes. Sometimes they contained cards as well. Like you, I had to compose at least a full side for thank you letters.

I wrote thank you letters, made my children write thank you letters, and now my grandchildren, in their teens, write them too, though they tend to be just a note in a card rather than a proper letter now. Of course, if we are there with them, there are
spoken thanks.

We had to write more than one side, so became expert at spinning it out. “Thank you very much for the lovely [whatever] that you sent me for Christmas this year”.

My nephew never wrote letters to thank me for presents. His mother, my DIL, said she just couldn’t make him. Now, his children are the same - never a word of thanks. I stopped sending them presents as soon as I decently could.

keepingquiet

My grandchildren thank me in person. I don't require notes or letters. I give without needing to be thanked. Knowing they love me regardless is enough.

True, but good manners equip one nicely for life and it’s easy to text a thank you these days.

Even writing a thank you note is not too much hard work when someone has taken the trouble to buy and wrap a present.

Ours will be with us, thank yous and hugs, I used to write letters too.

A set of children’s stationery - small lined sheets with little envelopes - were a standard Christmas present when I was a child. And yes, we had to write a proper letter - at least one side in our best handwriting.

We will always see the Gdcs on or very soon after Christmas or their birthdays, so will get thanks and a hug in person.

J52

When I was young Boxing Day involved writing thank you letters. As we see all our DGCs on Christmas Day they thank us verbally, usually with a hug as well.

This was the same in our house. After any visitors on Boxing day had gone we were sat down with a pen and paper or thankyou cards and told to thank relatives for their presents.
We probably played up a bit when younger but there was no swerving the task.
And one day I remember seeing a thankyou card I had written to my aunty still on the mantlepiece in summer, she said she cherished it too much to take it down, after that I made sure I wrote my thankyou notes/cards without being asked.