regifting - what is the etiquette

Allira

^what if they came back again, like in a sort of nightmare story where you could never get rid of the gift you felt no gratitude for?^
😂😂😂
Brilliant!!

I think there's the makng of a story there...
Definitely

There already is a story written in the 19th century, we read this in school and I can’t remember the author but think the story was called The Smoking Jacket.He received a smoking set comprised of a velvet jacket, pipe and other bits and bobs and as he didn’t want it sent it next year to another friend.Anyway it does the rounds minus the various bits and bobs and eventually comes back to him after years as just a jacket.It’s very funny, tho as I was about 13 at the time when everything seems funny, it may not be so now.

GrannySomerset

You are definitely overthinking. Much better the gifts give pleasure to someone else if the original givers are unlikely to be offended. Sounds like a win/win.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Allira

^what if they came back again, like in a sort of nightmare story where you could never get rid of the gift you felt no gratitude for?^
😂😂😂
Brilliant!!

I think there's the makng of a story there...
Definitely

Isn't that what tombolas were for? . There were always sets of bath cubes and novelty mugs with bits of sellotape to indicate where the raffle tickets had been for the four years they'd been circulating before you won them.

Personally, I think regifting is ok in principle, but needs to be handled with care. If there is any chance at all that the giver will find out, don't do it, as it would be hurtful. If, on the other hand, you have a very separate circle of friends and nobody will know, then it is better for the item to be used than to live in a drawer until it expires or goes out of fashion. In the end, the giver has still given you a gift, as passing on the unwanted one will free up funds one way or another for you to spend on something more appropriate.

Those who say they are grateful for any and everything they are given - yes, I am grateful for the thought, and for the love behind the gift, but there is no way I would wear a ra ra skirt, regardless of who bought it, and if I already have a calendar I don't need another one. Similarly, I dislike dark chocolate, so if I get a box of those it is far better that I give them to someone who likes them, so they get eaten before they go off. That doesn't lessen the gratitude, surely?

Giving it to a charity shop seems the bast thing to do.
It benefits the charity, and the buyer.
If its something you don't like, or wouldn't use, you've lost nothing.

Allira

^what if they came back again, like in a sort of nightmare story where you could never get rid of the gift you felt no gratitude for?^
😂😂😂
Brilliant!!

I think there's the makng of a story there...
Definitely

Magic Porridge Pot!

The first thing I would say is that it was a GIFT to you, which means it is yours to do as you wish with whether to use or pass on, so dont feel at all guilty about it, in my view. Then a couple of ideas you might consider.a) giving directly to some one or a charity that you know would be able to use and appreciate them. b) as others have said give as very nice raffle prizes for a charity or club that could make good use of the raffle money and also thrill someone as a prize. c) I have done this idea several times and it has worked well - So amongst your friends or a club you belong to or whatever, suggest that you have a "January swap shop" . Given advance notice of this it lets people bring unwanted christmas gifts of whatever they have that is unused or unwanted. I have run a couple of these swaps in different ways. One way was were we had small cards with stars on them. As the goods came in we would look at them and put an appropriate amount of stars for each item. So if you had a lovely new cashmere jumper ,never worn, but in a colour you dont like, you are not expected to swap for a box of chocolates. Someone may bring several things like the make up etc and you can make a fair swap without falling out. For another time I asked if people would be prepared to give their unwanted gifts and then we collected all the gifts and had a small auction and all the money went 1/2 to the RNLI and half to Cancer research. Of course you may just think of a neighbour or friend that you know would really enjoy using the make up and give them a treat. In that case though, I would tell them that you are allergic or dont use that specific makeup, and they would be doing you a favour to use it. That way they dont feel they have to get you something expensive. I am sure that you will be giving happiness to someone, and should feel fine and not guilty in the least, knowing that you have cheered someones day. Best wishes to you

what if they came back again, like in a sort of nightmare story where you could never get rid of the gift you felt no gratitude for?
😂😂😂
Brilliant!!

I think there's the makng of a story there...
Definitely

So re-gifting means you get a gift, then give to someone else as a gift?

I have a feeling my SIL does this, as some of the gifts I've had just gave me that impression- they weren't really bought for me but seemed a bit 'token.'

It seems people must know me really well because I tend to like all my gifts.

If not I would give them away, but what if they came back again, like in a sort of nightmare story where you could never get rid of the gift you felt no gratitude for? I think there's the makng of a story there...

Calendargirl

Louella12

I couldn't re-gift. I'd feel awful!

If someone has chosen something for me then I keep it.

And do what with it though? So often here on GN we read about when a poster is sorting out deceased parents house, a drawer or cupboard is opened and there sits past Christmas and birthday gifts, untouched and unused?

Now that does no one any good, the gifter, the receiver, or anyone else who might have benefitted from the unused item.

When I’m sorting donations in our charity shop I always know when it’s a relative donating items left by someone who has died.
They are tipped into a carrier bag from a drawer 😥

keepingquiet

What is regifting anyway? Never heard of it. Every gift I get is well received however humble. I don't get expensive presents.

The clue is in the word re meaning again or again and again.

Well said x

I am curious to know what the products are - things like unopened perfume kept in a box somewhere dark last ages - not sure about skincare?

Certainly regifting is an option.
Have you asked your daughters if they would like them back? Just explain that you haven’t had the chance to use them yet.
I’ve often bought items for people that I would have liked for myself

Just don’t give it back to the giver by mistake 🤣

I was going to regift something to a friend (I know she does this herself, I've been the recipient of some) but I can't remember who gave it to me 😁
So it will go to the charity shop.

It is entirely up to the recipient what they do with something I've gifted to them. I would not mind in the least if they regifted it. I'd much rather it was regifted, sold, donated than sat in a cupboard. We can't always get gifts right and because a gift is passed on doesn't mean it wasn't appreciated.

I would regift in a heartbeat Why would you just hang on to something you don’t want
You have thanked the giver it was given and received in good faith why not let someone who would appreciate it have it instead of it languishing in a drawer somewhere
Just don’t give it back to the giver by mistake 🤣

I donate to raffles.

I understand what you're saying, Calendargirl. And yes, I've been there with the gifts shoved in a drawer my mum had acquired over the years.

But the OP did say she might use these items eventually.

It's a personal thing I guess. The majority appear to be happy to regift which is fine. It's just something I couldn't do due to sentimentality , probably misplaced !

I hate waste of any sort, and would definitely regift in your position.
We don’t buy for adults so don’t get this problem!

how I agree with Calendargirl the amount of stuff that is put away for best and never used such a waste

Louella12

I couldn't re-gift. I'd feel awful!

If someone has chosen something for me then I keep it.

And do what with it though? So often here on GN we read about when a poster is sorting out deceased parents house, a drawer or cupboard is opened and there sits past Christmas and birthday gifts, untouched and unused?

Now that does no one any good, the gifter, the receiver, or anyone else who might have benefitted from the unused item.

Nonnato2

Keep them and use them. I would never give a gift away that someone gave me. Next time tell them you don’t want anything rather than take them and ‘regift’.

We always buy each other gifts, I never know in advance what they will buy me. I would never say what you have advised me to say, that just sounds horrible as if I don't like anything they get me.
Of course I appeciate every gift and I do appreciate these, I just haven't used them yet and I was just getting general opinions as to what the etiquette is. I personally have never regifted anything before hence my question.

long as it is not mistakenly given back to same person and all tags etc are removed then nothing wrong with that. we get lots of bottles etc which go to raffles gift sets yes i would resend esp if a different circle of friends. better than wasting them or like someone said what about the food bank? they would be grateful so someone can have a lovely treat at the festive season

Keep them and use them. I would never give a gift away that someone gave me. Next time tell them you don’t want anything rather than take them and ‘regift’.

I couldn't re-gift. I'd feel awful!

If someone has chosen something for me then I keep it.