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Grandparents giving Christmas presents

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NinjaNan18 Thu 12-Dec-24 15:45:18

After having a lot of time with our Grandaughter since a tiny baby (she's now 7) our daughter has a new 'hands on' partner who has taken on a lot of the childcare reducing our contact. This is not a big issue but lots of other rules and regs seem to be creeping in. For example for the 1st time ever we are restricted to only giving her 5 Christmas presents even though for the previous 7 years she hasn't cared what or how much we have bought. She's also continually changed what these presents are 'allowed' to be. She has said if I don't follow instructions there will be a row on Christmas day. I'm actually feeling quite stressed now as the new partner seems to be influencing a lot of changes in a short space of time but admit my daughter who is autistic can start an argument in an empty room. My friends say I'm a mug. I'm quite confused. Foes anyone else have this experience?

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Allsorts Fri 20-Dec-24 07:43:46

If he is a controlling person, even more reason to comply. The trouble is most victims drift into being controlled and are gradually isolated from friends and family. I hope very much this isn't the case.

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vampirequeen Fri 20-Dec-24 08:12:07

A lot of things are being assumed about this man. Perhaps your DD's lifestyle was more chaotic than you realised and he's just helped her to see this and she taking control of it.

How many presents does a child need? She won't just be getting presents from you. There will be gifts from your DD and her partner, and from others.

I'm not saying this is the case but it's an alternative to the controlling man that others seem to assume he is.

Just follow your DD's requests and play it by ear regarding your concerns.

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