Christmas Presents You Don't Want

Primrose53

I’ve said this on here before but I volunteered for 15 years in a charity shop. Every year as soon as we reopened after Christmas we were inundated with unwanted gifts. Toiletries, nightwear, slippers, books, calendars and diaries, ornaments, socks, perfumed candles, preserves etc.

It always stuck in my mind but one year a lady came in with a bin liner full of WRAPPED gifts. She said she couldn’t be bothered to open them as people never gave her things she really liked.

Wow! Height of disrespect

I’m confused, I only exchange presents with my immediate family and a couple close friends, they all know me very well as I know and love them. So my taste, I don’t like sweet things including chocolates, or candles, I do like fresh flowers, are understood by them, so I don’t get gifts of things I don’t like.
Why are people getting unwanted gifts of things they don’t like from close people?

As have said on other threads, some of my ideas are
a) I meet up with old friends who now live a distance away, for lunch around this time. We bring unwanted gifts etc and swap them and so the gifts are then given to a charity or charity shop in quite another area, so no risk of upsetting the giver.
b) talk to candle giver about how another friend and you, give each other a "voucher" rather than a gift. By this I mean you give of yourself, e.g. 4 evenings babysitting, or to be the chauffeur where the friend will pay for the fuel but you can be the driver to go wherever she wants and take her door to door. This might be to visit a village that is no longer on a bus route, or to go to a town or a nat trust place that is not on public transport. There you could either stay with them or go away and return to pick them up at a time convenient to them. I have several friends who no longer drive and this has been very popular. Or offer an hours gardening for 4 weeks or if they hate sewing or knitting and that is your interest , offer to make stuff up or mend things that are languishing waiting to be dealt with. You get the idea.You can be very euntheastic about this and then if the opportunity arises you could suggest that you also do this. I find that these give a lot of pleasure, are very personal and cost only your time rather than cash.

Pascal I have suggested things but they don't seem them appropriate somehow. It makes me feel ungrateful but I can't help that I'd rather they didn't. I have said I'd rather they took me out for a meal when they are here but I think they like a meal at home.

Simply re-gift them........problem sorted

I love going to the charity shops after christmas. I dont like candles or bath bombs but hope to find new jigsaws or books folk dont want.

When our children were young, my sister and I used to send a card but no present . We would decide on the limit of cash to spend. Then we would buy a present for our own child and put it with the card . We lived a long way apart, and she had a daughter I had a son, so different toys or games would be in fashion in different areas. This way, we would know just what our child would love, which books they already had from a series etc. They would be delighted to get something they really wanted, and thought that their aunties were clever to always get them something good!!

A brussels sprout bath fizzer anyone?

Oh - yes, scented candles. I have put them all on a big decorative tray and light them all together , they look nice. I really, really don’t want any more of them.

MrOops always asks for a donation to a Charity, this year it’s for the Ukraine. Children are never upset, they are actually relieved as he doesn’t want or need anything else. Although I did notice a large box of Maltesers appeared from under the tree!

For the GCs we set them a £5 limit - preferably a Charity shop item, this year I received 2 jigsaws so I am happy, for MrOops it was a charity donation from them as well.

I insisted I didn’t want any “ stuff” this year, so the plants and prosecco are most acceptable, but what to do with the hamper? “ we couldn’t not give you a gift to open” said my DIL, so now I am stuck with biscuits I won’t eat, chocolates I shouldn’t eat as I am pre-diabetic, and a bottle of a liqueur I don’t like. It was the same when my husband was alive and he was diabetic.

Gratitude is always welcome 😍

As I have said before we only give presents to immediate family and everyone files wish lists in October.

Every thing I unwrapped yesterday was from my list or something someone saw and knew I would like because they know me so well.

I like to see people that’s the best present I can get I don’t eat chocolate or biscuits I say it every year. I still get them I do gift them to neighbours and the local food banks.
It does seem an awful waste of money though and it does irritate me. I don’t want to sound like the Grinch but why buy me stuff I clearly say I don’t want.

Marmin

A brussels sprout bath fizzer anyone?

Eh? Bizarre alright.

I think we have to be diplomatic and just bite the bullet. Smile, but not a rictus grin, and thank as warmly as you feel you can manage. It's just once a year and charity shops benefit enormously - which is where you should nip off to as soon as your benefactor has driven off down the road.

We all decided years ago NO presents. It makes Christmas easy but a bit dull.

Well I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee, my new slippers on my feet, a nice box of Sanctuary Spa in the bathroom, the book and chocolates at the ready.

I must be so dull🤔

Not everyone is easy to buy for though. My mum doesn't like sweet things, doesn't have a bath, has plenty of clothes, hardly ever wears make-up, gets perfume for her birthday in October, doesn't like hampers, as she lives alone and they always have jam in them (😵‍💫), and that's just off the top of my head. Oh yes, she has a cat, so no candles, diffusers, jigsaws or anything that might get spilt or knocked over.

Also, I am expected to come up with ideas for my children to buy her as well as for myself, so it's incredibly limiting when I've knocked those ideas off my 'possible' list. She makes it very clear when she's disappointed, too (ie every Christmas and birthday), and regifts pretty much everything.

I'm not one for 'you should be grateful for anything and everything', but there's a limit to what people can buy if the recipients are so difficult.

Lathyrus3

Well I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee, my new slippers on my feet, a nice box of Sanctuary Spa in the bathroom, the book and chocolates at the ready.

I must be so dull🤔

I’m another dullard Lathryus, I’ve just finished the house clear from yesterday. I was given two calendars of dogs doing the thing in beautiful places. Both from men aged 40 plus and lovely members of my family - they were really entertained…. I got scented candles which I don’t use for fear they’ll negatively affect my dogs. So off to the charity they go But - they were given with love and we all enjoyed a chaotic happy day together yesterday.
I’m off to walk the 2nd dog then it’s a cuppa in one of my new mugs, chocs and a read of my new book, another well chosen gift.
It’s the thought isn’t it - even when it’s not quite hitting the spot

Oh I forgot the nice new mug and coaster. 😬

theworriedwell

It's a bit of a trap isn't it. You will see lots of threads about being grateful for gifts even if you don't like them and I am always very thankful, tell people it is lovely etc. There comes a point where you feel like OP and the thought of another smelly candle is just too much but how do you say I know I've been telling you for 20 years that I love the smelly candles but actually I can't stand them so please stop. I know that's a bit of an exaggeration but I think you know what I mean.

For me it is the flowers, I really don't like cut flowers, having a big bunch delivered is expensive and I hate that someone has spent that money and then I just feel sad as they wilt and die and then I clear them up. How do I tell them without upsetting them? It is hard and I sympathise with OP.

Sorry OP i am definitely with you but no idea how to deal with it.

This is a bit like my curry story.
Say you no longer... or you have decided that in future ...

That is easy.
I no longer get the same delight from cut flowers - upu can add "they die so quickly it seems, and it makes me sad" if you want to be more definite!

I used to love fragrances candles but my sense of smell must have changed over the years...

Here is a link to Martin Lewis video mentioned up the thread.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIXFSnNe_wQ

What if the giver will be checking that you actually use or eat her gift?

It’s really only basic good manners to accept all gifts graciously.

I loved opening all my gifts yesterday. OK, the odd gift (yes a candle) will be added to my burgeoning stock (good idea nanna8) and I’d hate every gift to be pre-ordered and no surprises.