It's all getting a bit much...

It's not you.
I gave a flare up of sciatica at the moment,coming down stairs is a trial,shopping is out of the question and stressing about that. Just tell everyone your jot feeling the edge and ask them to help out. Hope you feel better soon.

firstly look after yourself including take some paracetamol, a hot drink and a sit down.
while you are sat down get a notepad and pen, write down what needs doing
if you have kids and a hubby get them to put up your decs they may not be perfect but hey they will be done. if that is not an option stick the tree up then dont worry so much about the rest of it for now
do online shopping much easier
and finally a nice glass of wine!

It’s such a shame that Christmas is imbued with such emotional baggage, and adverts hyping 5he perfect family don’t help. Oh to have the less commercial consumer simple holiday of the past, with fewer expectations.

mae13

I really have to blame the avalanche of articles scattered through magazines and newspapers about "How To Have The Perfect Family Christmas!"
They harp on about how everything has to be so just right on that particular day. Family tableau glossy spreads are very deceptive - they're cobbled together by regiments of stylists and photographers sometime about July!

Isn't outright lying like that against some sort of Advertising Standards Authority rules?

I rarely buy magazines and certainly not at Christmas. I agree the constant articles on the perfect Christmas are nauseating.
Over the years we’ve had a variety of Christmases, I’m absolutely sure non of them were perfect, but most of them fun!

I really have to blame the avalanche of articles scattered through magazines and newspapers about "How To Have The Perfect Family Christmas!"
They harp on about how everything has to be so just right on that particular day. Family tableau glossy spreads are very deceptive - they're cobbled together by regiments of stylists and photographers sometime about July!

Isn't outright lying like that against some sort of Advertising Standards Authority rules?

I'm sure you could find a cleaner for a one off pre christmas clean, finances permitting, of course.

A lot have offers on at this time of year as they have spare hours free.

M0nica

Just cancel Christmas this year. Get some nice turkey slices from the deli counter of a good deli or good supermarket, where you see it sliced off the bone, a few potatoes and sprouts. perhaps some pigs in blankets or stuffing - and there is your Christmas dinner.

Order up a book you always wanted to read or a DVD, or stream something you have always wanted to watch.

Cancel the social commitments - if necessary tell everyone you have COVID, or bubonic plague, or measles. Turn the heating up and have a nice quiet day on your own with a nice easily prepared Christmas lunch just indulging in little pleasures, perhaps some chocs, a tinned gin and tonic and after a quiet relaxed day. You will feel so much better on Boxing day.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

Kate1949

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I agree with what others have said. Do the minimum of chores. In the scheme of things housework doesn't matter. I took feel overwhelmed and was also recently at the docs in tears. Not over Christmas but life in general. It's all very difficult. Not helped by me and DH finding a man dead in the street a couple of weeks ago.

Ooh how awful for you both x

No, it’s def not you! This time of year overwhelms many of us.

My house is a tip, I’ve got presents but not wrapped, I’m struggling just a tad.

However, for me at least there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

6 adults live in our household, one is a Chef and is off on Christmas Day so has offered to cook lunch and they also decorated and put up the tree.

I truly hope you get sorted and don’t be scared to ask friend/family for some help/support. Good luck

So much truth here. However, I have done no housework for 4 days! I have got the hoover out now and done a bit of dusting.
I do need to chill out and count my many blessings.

Things will pass between me and my son and I am sure all will be well.

Nothing a cup of tea and some quiet music won't harm.

Thankyou all for your understanding.

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I agree with what others have said. Do the minimum of chores. In the scheme of things housework doesn't matter. I took feel overwhelmed and was also recently at the docs in tears. Not over Christmas but life in general. It's all very difficult. Not helped by me and DH finding a man dead in the street a couple of weeks ago.

I think I would tell my family to stop making demands, kp, and tell them I'm not doing Christmas this year except, were I religious (which I'm not), maybe going to midnight mass.

None of the excess is compulsory. do what you can cope with and what you want to do.

Viral infections do this to us.

Your world will not come to an end if you neglect any or all of your chores. However if you can manage to pick out a priority or two--

You don’t need a good shake love. You need to put yourself first you are not feeling well. Your family members need to help especially your son. Be like me lol do what you can and nothing more don’t make yourself more stressed it’s two days. The decs are unimportant just put very few up. It’s ridiculous how ppl put so much pressure on themselves and get themselves in a two and eight. Ask your family for some help. Don’t cancel seeing your friends it will lift you up a bit. They probably feeling the same way! Be gentle on yourself. And good luck the more you worry the worse you will be . Have a lovely Xmas x

I would just get one of those frozen all in one meals that Birds Eye do (probably other supermarkets too) and bung it in the oven. I used to do that years ago when I was on my own. Put the tv on and keep warm.

Everyone else can do all that rushing around getting frazzled. I was in Tesco yesterday and I'm sure there's more madness each year that passes.

Hello Keepingquiet.. I wonder if you have SAD (seasonal affective disorder).. thought to be caused by lack of sunshine.. you could look it upon google.. a friend of mine got it every winter until she bought herself a lightbox which really helped her..
I personally wouldn't worry about doing housework or preparations.. Just be your usual self and enjoy the people you see over Christmas.. they just want to see you... and if your sister doesn't then enjoy yourself somewhere else with treats... take the pressure off yourself, it is only yourself setting all these gaols...

M0nica gives sensible advice.

It's your christmas too, do what you need to in order to keep well.

Lots of support and good advice here keepingquiet but for me, 10/10 and the prize for the best is from M0nica.

Everyone else can see to their own Christmas, it's not up to you to make it special for them so do whatever you need to do, to make it special and doable for you .

Just cancel Christmas this year. Get some nice turkey slices from the deli counter of a good deli or good supermarket, where you see it sliced off the bone, a few potatoes and sprouts. perhaps some pigs in blankets or stuffing - and there is your Christmas dinner.

Order up a book you always wanted to read or a DVD, or stream something you have always wanted to watch.

Cancel the social commitments - if necessary tell everyone you have COVID, or bubonic plague, or measles. Turn the heating up and have a nice quiet day on your own with a nice easily prepared Christmas lunch just indulging in little pleasures, perhaps some chocs, a tinned gin and tonic and after a quiet relaxed day. You will feel so much better on Boxing day.

Why do we put this pressure on ourselves? I can think of family members who hardly give Christmas a thought and no one is bothered.
I’m still recovering from surgery in October and DC and GC will come here, as usual. I’ve told them I’m still tired and they will have to get on with it. Think of all the years and all the fuss usually down to one person!

I have a table top tree, nativity, poinsettia and they can get the food.
Please, let’s give ourselves a break 🙏🏻

No keepingquiet assuming your son is an adult, start saying no to him and others who expect you to soldier on. If your son arranged Christmas dinner, with your agreement? he can unwarranted it, you’re not well, both physically and spiritually.

If you make a list, put the most onerous thing you have to tackle at the top and get it out of the way. I did this today, giving the fridge in the garage a good clean. That I managed to flood the utility room in the process is by the by, but I really felt better about that fridge😁! Now that I haven’t got Atlas holding up the sky to stop it falling on my head, everything seems harder and takes longer. Be kind to yourself keepingquiet. It’s just a few chaotic days and then we can all try and put one foot in front of the other again and move forward💐.

Oh keepingquiet that’s a poignant read. Lots of good advice here from kindly folk. You have many things at play here - your grief, a cold, the row with your son, awkward non-communication with your sister. That’s enough to put anyone in a tailspin without the added stress of Christmas.

Hopefully you’ll soon see a pathway through this muddle. It will pass. Winter solstice is on Saturday - the shortest day of the year. Lighter days are on their way and will lift your gloomy thoughts.

keepingquiet

Yes, I'm fed up with it all.

There's just my son and me here this year. He has MS and learning difficulties and he is not arriving until Christmas Eve.

I have chronic osteoarthritis in my spine, and at the moment a pinched sciatic nerve so I can't get out at all. I put in an online Tesco order for today and just ordered a small frozen turkey- not what I would usually do, but under the circumstances it's just easier this year. Hey ho, got the receipt earlier this morning and no turkey. Or turkey gravy.

This comes from a huge store on 2 floors and I simply don't believe they did not have one turkey in that whole shop that they could have substituted. No scratch cards either - only ordered 2 to pop in my son's stocking, it's the only time I buy them. So Tesco have no scratch cards? Don't believe it.

So yes, I was angry and miserable about it all......until I read a thread on here from a poster whose husband is abusing her and she is seeking help to try and leave the relationship.

Kind of put everything into perspective for me.

I have a roof over my head, I'm warm and I'll have food. Nobody is trying to harm me. It might not be exciting but my son and I will sit and watch TV, have a few drinks and probably eat too much.

Then it will all be over and life goes back to normal - for some of us.