It's all getting a bit much...

I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed.

My answer is lists - lots of lists. Putting stuff down on paper seems to clear my head.

It can be overwhelming. Good advice from kittylester about lists. I’ve started to update mine every morning. I can cross off things I’ve managed to do - like ring the gas board because of central heating problems. A small task but everything is over to the customer these days and I find tech stressful

No, it’s not you keeping quiet.

Sorry to hear that you’re having feelings of panic and dread about the holidays, I don’t think you’re alone in this from what I’ve read.Yes, lists will help you and so will realising it’s only a few days really and getting those around you to help with chores is a good idea.Tell people you’re not well at the moment and unless you live alone delegate what needs doing.Social commitments can go hang if you’re not up to it.
💐

Having a bad cold will make you feel even worse.

Forget about decorations.

Hopefully, in a couple of days, when your cold is a bit better, do a bit of tidying up, in the areas that matter most.

Shut the doors on the rest.

Can family help out, with shopping or similar?

It’s one day, when it’s over, get out the lists that kitty suggested, go through them and make a start on a better 2025.

Good luck.

Cut back on the non essentials. Just do what you want to do and don’t get drawn into the demands of family or helping others too much. Easier said than done, I know , but be firm.

Christmas will come and go and things will settle downn(like last year) and you’ll soon feel better.

I would go back to the GP to have a chat about this depression and also get something for that cold. Make a list of what has to be done before Christmas Day. Shut the door on rooms that can be left until a later date. Put up your favourite decorations and leave the rest but more importantly, have a word with someone in your family who will listen to your concerns. If you are not well yourself then the family commitments you mention need to be sorted out by someone else, for a while at least. Sending you all good wishes for a brighter 2025.

I’m another fan of lists Kitty! I find it clears my mind when it’s written down, leaving me to worry about something else of course!

Seriously, Keepingquiet, I hope you find a way to manage others expectations and if that means a pared down Christmas decoration stint this year, sobeit.

Small wins is the name of the game when you’re stressed, so little achievable jobs each morning, afternoon etc gives me the feel good factor and a blind eye is the kindest thing for your wellbeing sometimes 🥰

I find this time of year very emotional too. Everything got too much just the other day and I hugged my OH and cried buckets!
All the commercialism and pressure from shops to 'buy this and order that' is all so false and overwhelming for me.
I hav'nt either out up the Christmas tree this year and don't intend to do so.
Yes, we will have Christmas dinner and call our AC and GC but I find it easier to cope if things are scaled back.

Agree that lists help keep track of what’s what.

I have a comprehensive one that has everything I can think of on it and then I make a little daily one. That way I get double ticking off pleasure☺️.

Writing cards nearly floored me this year. I have resolved to buy a new address book in January so I don’t encounter the sad entries that have had to be crossed out next year.

A little job at a time, it’s much easier once you have started, and plenty of hot honey and lemon to help with your cold. I hope you feel better soon.

I sincerely hope that some of the ideas above are helpful to you.
And I send you my Best Wishes and some x

Have the Christmas you want and family demands push them back saying you can’t cope with it. Make sure you put yourself first and do as little or as much as you want. Prioritise.

keepingquiet I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling like this and no, it’s not just you - Christmas can be overwhelming.

I would do the following (in this order):

1) decide what things you can ‘ditch’ e.g. social commitments you’re not really bothered about. Give your apologies saying you’ve got a stinking cold.

2) find out where you’re having Xmas dinner. Ask the relevant family member - say you need to know so you know what food to buy in.

3) now make 2 lists - things to do; things to buy. Don’t let the lists become too long and tick things off as you go (very satisfying).

4) put up minimal decorations - just a tree is fine. Christmas cards dotted about will also make it look Christmassy; and maybe a poinsettia.

5) don’t wrap Xmas presents. Buy as many gift bags as you need from the £1 shop and pop the gifts in them. Job done!

6) get as much delivered as possible e.g. groceries and drinks from supermarket. Supermarkets have still got delivery slots available.

Keep reminding yourself that what doesn’t get done, doesn’t matter. It’s fine👍

I’m sorry feel like this again. I’m another fan of lists, in fact make two, one with everything to do on it. Then cross off anything that really doesn’t matter or that someone else can do. Now make the second, hopefully much reduced list.
Forget putting up any more decorations, if anyone wants more they can do them themselves.
Give yourself a day off today, stay in your bedroom and get over your cold. Don’t look at the rest of the house!
Food, another sub list, what can be bought ready prepped at the supermarket. Give the family a list, ( yes another one) what to buy or those visiting to bring with them. Tell those in the house what housework needs doing.
In other words become the Mastermind of operation Christmas and direct the minions.
Hope you feel better soon.

I've been ill for months, it takes its toll and you feel out of synch with the festivities. Plus my parents died at Christmas time.

Feel free to PM if you want a kindred spirit.

LizzieDrip you think like me! 😅

J52

Thankyou all. I just had a blazing row with my son which hasn't helped. he's going through his own stuff but I feel I can't be the one propping him up all the time.

Yes, lists, I have them everywhere! Nothing seems to be getting done though.

Delegation is out too, everyone else has their own stuff to deal with.

I do have a meet-up with friends on Thursday I could cancel, and also a BP check friday which may find it has gone through the roof!

I have already shut the door on the upstairs room too- but the downstairs needs a good vac. I feel I have to put up the rest of my trimmings too- maybe I am a glutton for punishment but I've had pared down Christmasses for years so this year was going to be special as I am seeing my granddaughter and wanted things to be nice for her. So, that pressure is on myself.

I don't really want to go to my sisters for Christmas dinner- it has all been arranged through my son but when I saw her recently she didn't even mention it. I suppose I do need to speak to her but don't know how to frame that conversation (my sister is very difficult to deal with). I'll leave that one alone for now.

I really don't have any minions. In fact I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself because I don't have any practical help at all.
I do have good friends I can off-load on though, so I'll maybe make a few calls to them.

jeanathome- yes I'm missing a loved one who died earlier this year and this is the first Christmas without them. It is hard, but I know they wouldn't haven't wanted me to be so stressed about it.

I don't really know why I'm like this. Sometimes I think I need a good shake!

Some helpful stuff here so I will attend to the basics today and hopefully have an easier day tomorrow.

Thankyou all.

The only thing that really works for me is a timer. I set it for 20 minutes, I just start, and keep going until it pings. I’m a procrastinator with things I find dull, but when I put my mind to it I can achieve a lot in 20 minutes. Rest for 20 minutes, have a coffee, and keep on repeating the cycle until I am happy with the result. In your position I’d decide which one thing was bugging me the most (the lounge being untidy?) and go for it. Ignore everything else, that’s the task for today. We all work differently I know, but I do think just starting is the hardest part.

Yes, I'm fed up with it all.

There's just my son and me here this year. He has MS and learning difficulties and he is not arriving until Christmas Eve.

I have chronic osteoarthritis in my spine, and at the moment a pinched sciatic nerve so I can't get out at all. I put in an online Tesco order for today and just ordered a small frozen turkey- not what I would usually do, but under the circumstances it's just easier this year. Hey ho, got the receipt earlier this morning and no turkey. Or turkey gravy.

This comes from a huge store on 2 floors and I simply don't believe they did not have one turkey in that whole shop that they could have substituted. No scratch cards either - only ordered 2 to pop in my son's stocking, it's the only time I buy them. So Tesco have no scratch cards? Don't believe it.

So yes, I was angry and miserable about it all......until I read a thread on here from a poster whose husband is abusing her and she is seeking help to try and leave the relationship.

Kind of put everything into perspective for me.

I have a roof over my head, I'm warm and I'll have food. Nobody is trying to harm me. It might not be exciting but my son and I will sit and watch TV, have a few drinks and probably eat too much.

Then it will all be over and life goes back to normal - for some of us.

keepingquiet

Oh keepingquiet that’s a poignant read. Lots of good advice here from kindly folk. You have many things at play here - your grief, a cold, the row with your son, awkward non-communication with your sister. That’s enough to put anyone in a tailspin without the added stress of Christmas.

Hopefully you’ll soon see a pathway through this muddle. It will pass. Winter solstice is on Saturday - the shortest day of the year. Lighter days are on their way and will lift your gloomy thoughts.

If you make a list, put the most onerous thing you have to tackle at the top and get it out of the way. I did this today, giving the fridge in the garage a good clean. That I managed to flood the utility room in the process is by the by, but I really felt better about that fridge😁! Now that I haven’t got Atlas holding up the sky to stop it falling on my head, everything seems harder and takes longer. Be kind to yourself keepingquiet. It’s just a few chaotic days and then we can all try and put one foot in front of the other again and move forward💐.

No keepingquiet assuming your son is an adult, start saying no to him and others who expect you to soldier on. If your son arranged Christmas dinner, with your agreement? he can unwarranted it, you’re not well, both physically and spiritually.

Why do we put this pressure on ourselves? I can think of family members who hardly give Christmas a thought and no one is bothered.
I’m still recovering from surgery in October and DC and GC will come here, as usual. I’ve told them I’m still tired and they will have to get on with it. Think of all the years and all the fuss usually down to one person!

I have a table top tree, nativity, poinsettia and they can get the food.
Please, let’s give ourselves a break 🙏🏻