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Christmas

Why do people you never hear from send Christmas cards

(63 Posts)
Slimswim Wed 03-Dec-25 17:43:52

I know there’s another thread regarding Christmas cards but my question is, why do people you never hear from send Christmas cards? I ask the question because someone I know sent one but how do they know if we are both still alive as we never hear from them.

Allira Thu 04-Dec-25 10:59:51

Why do people you never hear from send Christmas cards

That's a contradiction in terms.

You do hear from them once a year. They send a Christmas card.

AGAA4 Thu 04-Dec-25 11:27:55

I like getting Christmas cards even from people I haven't seen for years.
It's good to be thought of and to remember them. Sadly my list is getting shorter as old friends have died.

Elegran Thu 04-Dec-25 11:28:28

I'd say the reason they send you a Christmas card is because that is the only time they and you are in touch - but they still value your old friendship and your shared past, and Christmas is a time to remember "absent friends"

If you don't want any contact any more, stop sending them a card yourself - or if you have already stopped, just keep on ignoring them and they will eventually get the message.

If you wish you had more contact with them, send them an Easter card or a birthday card or - better - write them a real letter.

Gummie Thu 04-Dec-25 11:34:21

Every year cards land in my letter box for the previous owner of the house. So pointless as they clearly haven't been in touch with them or they would know where they live and that they moved out years ago. Such a waste of time and money and all that happens is I put them back in the post box and the Royal mail probably bin them.

I gave up Christmas cards years ago and am not really happy to receive them. I'd much rather they called and had a chat than sent a pointless card.

Knittypamela Thu 04-Dec-25 13:46:15

I have sent and received cards from an old friend for 50 years. This year I got no birthday card. I'm worried about sending a Christmas card in case I upset her family.

Calendargirl Thu 04-Dec-25 13:52:20

Knittypamela

I have sent and received cards from an old friend for 50 years. This year I got no birthday card. I'm worried about sending a Christmas card in case I upset her family.

I would send one, say you hope things are ok as you haven’t heard from her lately, and write your address down.

If she has gone in a home or died, they might let you know then.

If they haven’t told people, then it’s too bad if they’re upset.

Delila Thu 04-Dec-25 14:05:04

I receive cards containing just “love from”, and a couple of others containing letters which describe in minute detail everything that’s happened in the preceding year. I don’t know which I prefer, but both are welcome.

Stillness Thu 04-Dec-25 14:10:24

I actually dislike them. If we haven’t been in touch for years, I don’t see the point. Of course you wish them…and everyone well…but I don’t understand why they do this. I’m hoping with rising costs, it won’t happen this year as I’m afraid I just give cards to close family and friends.

labazs Thu 04-Dec-25 14:25:59

worse than that there is the cards that arrive and for a previous tenant or owner. We have lived here for over 7 years yet still get cards for previous tenants; we know that the landlord had a lot of trouble with tenants before. as far as we know 2 had to be evicted via courts. But surely after 7 years they would either be thinking why do they not answer or if they are in touch they must have been to their new home?

grandMattie Thu 04-Dec-25 14:44:59

I get cards for th3 two previous owners of my flat. They have both died ages ago - I live in sheltered accommodation.
What annoys me is people I barely know in various organisations giving me a card. It feels like I’m being blackmailed into giving them a card to increase their “tally”.

Jess20 Thu 04-Dec-25 14:58:37

I have people 'on the list' for Christmas cards, when life permits I hope to see them again. Having children and being a carer are both reasons why there's no mental bandwidth to follow up friends more frequently but it doesn't mean they are not valued friends. There are so many things, like illness and changes in circumstances, which stop us getting together with people who are not close to where we live. I'd not be upset, I'd be pleased they cared enough to bother.

Labradora Thu 04-Dec-25 15:38:00

I send Xmas cards because I think of the people concerned and I am at least fond of them , like them or love them.
Sometimes they go to people I haven't seen for a while (I live abroad at the moment). Sometimes they go to people where the relationship is a bit sticky at present.
I think it is a nice, light- touch way of keeping in touch so that if you do get a telephone call , or bump into them then you have a constructive hook to hang a conversation on...... "hope you got my card , I did send one.... how are you?"
I love to get a card even if the sender hasn't communicated for a while.

Retired65 Thu 04-Dec-25 15:57:52

I only hear from some people once a year. I do wonder what the point is when they don't write anything in the card. I do send a christmas card to someone with my email address in it, in the hope that when they pass on someone will let me know. They don't send a card back.

sunglow12 Thu 04-Dec-25 17:01:48

A way to stay in touch !

SaxonGrace Thu 04-Dec-25 17:54:37

I gave up sending cards around twenty years ago, money to local homeless shelter and dogs trust, I still receive a couple of cards from folk who I assume have me on their list.

Cabbie21 Thu 04-Dec-25 17:57:48

Now it has been mentioned, I find it a bit awkward regarding cards for people in groups I belong to. Who to give to and who not? Or none at all? I don’t like the idea that some of the group are my ‘friends’ and some are not, but really it is a bit much to give cards to everyone. It is awkward if someone is handing out to some and not others.

Allsorts Thu 04-Dec-25 18:05:46

I have stopped sending cards to people who I don't see or talk with.

cc Thu 04-Dec-25 18:32:21

We also used to receive several cards every year addressed to the previous owners for whom we had no forwarding address. One had a local postmark and was obviously from a family with children - it seemed strange that they weren’t aware for 15 years that they’d moved. The other writing looked as if it was from an older person and stopped after a few years. It made me rather sad.

rocketstop Thu 04-Dec-25 19:25:57

Cabbie21

Now it has been mentioned, I find it a bit awkward regarding cards for people in groups I belong to. Who to give to and who not? Or none at all? I don’t like the idea that some of the group are my ‘friends’ and some are not, but really it is a bit much to give cards to everyone. It is awkward if someone is handing out to some and not others.

That reminds me of the old 'Birthday party invitations' at school thing. People feeling left out, people being invited because you just didn't want to leave them out, and the awfulness you felt if you WERE left out . !!!

FranP Thu 04-Dec-25 22:18:48

Charleygirl5

It irritates me because all they say is love from X and Y. I received a card today, haven't heard from them for years and it was giving me a change of address. It would have been good to know why they moved.

I haven't decided yet whether to send them a card.

Write in your card thanking them for a change of address, hoping they are settling in to their new home, adding a line or 2 about what you have been doing.

Madmeg Thu 04-Dec-25 23:25:11

Over the years we've had lots of cards from people we rarely see or hear from but we still think of them often and get invited to major things like golden wedding parties. But my DH has friends from his Uni days that I've never met and DH has never met their wives and nor do they phone each other. He has no idea about their lives, what jobs they did, children etc. I can't see the point in that.

I have one friend, an ex-colleague from 45 years ago, who moved around the country quite a bit and led a very busy life. She retired to live within reasonable distance from me and we renewed contact about 10 years ago and found we still got on well. I even got to know her sons and after her death% last year we are now in touch too.

Deedaa Thu 04-Dec-25 23:58:03

I have just telephoned an old friend to make sure she is still alive. She is nearly 90 and I know she can't get out much to buy and post cards, so I like to check for fear of upsetting her family with a card if she had died. We've only met up a couple of times in the last 25 years, but I'm very fond of her and I like to keep in touch.

srn63 Fri 05-Dec-25 00:07:16

I can't see the point in sending cards, any cards, to people you see all the time. You wish them Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday or whatever and then give them card, it's as if you are saying "I've written it down as well". I love the thought that someone has taken the time to think of me even if we never meet up in person, I love it even more if they put a bit of their news in as well, I always do.

CabbageWars13 Fri 05-Dec-25 01:07:58

I think that if you receive ANY cards through (our exceptionally dysfunctional) Royal Mail then the sender has done it to demonstrate that they are rather well off, given the eye-watering cost of a stamp.

Ali61 Fri 05-Dec-25 07:33:14

I think it's nice to send Christmas cards, especially to older friends and relatives who you don't see very often but they are thought about and especially at Christmas. I have a few ex colleagues who I was in touch with and we used to swap birthday and Christmas cards but they have gradually fizzled out. I think sending Christmas cards is a tradition we need to uphold! It shows you care 🎄🥰🎄