Why do people you never hear from send Christmas cards

That's how they find out. If they get no return card within a couple of of years, assume deceased or parked in a home. I have people who email me every couple of years to check if I am still around.

I sometimes put a return address in a card to elderly (compared to me) friends, just in case.

I was told by an old work colleague who still insists on sending a birthday and Christmas card, that I was on her 'list.'

I was a bit offended by this- I think I'm worth more than just being on a 'list.' Maybe an occasional phone call? An invitation to a meet-up? No, just a list.

People are very strange...

Christmas and birthday cards are nice to receive .
It's nice not to be forgotten .

But I'm conscious of people ,who know of my close proximity to London and are keeping me as a contact ,because it's useful if they feel like a stay !

We always used to get a card and a letter from some friends abroad. We haven't received anything for the last two years, so we assume they have died. They came to see us about twenty years ago and neither of them was in good health even then.

It irritates me because all they say is love from X and Y. I received a card today, haven't heard from them for years and it was giving me a change of address. It would have been good to know why they moved.

I haven't decided yet whether to send them a card.

An old work colleague and friend of mine, we always send each other Christmas cards, and always write in them ‘We must meet up for coffee sometime’. We only live about 6 miles from each other.

But we never do.

But this year, I decided to get on and do it!

We are meeting up for coffee, cake and a good catch up tomorrow.

☕️🍰

Good for you Calendargirl.

Slimswim

I know there’s another thread regarding Christmas cards but my question is, why do people you never hear from send Christmas cards? I ask the question because someone I know sent one but how do they know if we are both still alive as we never hear from them.

But a. they presumably send you one every year? So that is "hearing from them" albeit not that often.

and b. you do not send them one back?

keepingquiet

I was told by an old work colleague who still insists on sending a birthday and Christmas card, that I was on her 'list.'

I was a bit offended by this- I think I'm worth more than just being on a 'list.' Maybe an occasional phone call? An invitation to a meet-up? No, just a list.

People are very strange...

It means she still thinks of you.
Positively, not negatively or else you'd be off her list.

I still think of people although we never see them now.

There are two people, old friends, I exchange cards with that I haven’t seen for years. We summarise our news in Christmas and birthday cards, don’t expect to meet for many reasons but do care about each other. There were half a dozen acquaintances who sent cards, I looked and thought who on earth is that before the light dawned. I stopped sending them cards, gradually theirs petered out. Both approaches feel right.

Oh goodness, calendargirl, I do exactly the same with an ex colleague who i really like. I am going to do it this year!

I've sometimes received cards from 'oh-my-goodness-we-never-sent-them-one', and one card was unsigned but whoever it was had just had the other hip done!

We have friends from way back. We haven't seen them for over 10yrs and phone every 6months or less - and yet it is always as if we met the day before. Conversation flows and dh and friend have so much in common even after such different lives. Good friendship endures. Family wise we rely on one member to keep us informed of the several health issues.

keepingquiet

I was told by an old work colleague who still insists on sending a birthday and Christmas card, that I was on her 'list.'

I was a bit offended by this- I think I'm worth more than just being on a 'list.' Maybe an occasional phone call? An invitation to a meet-up? No, just a list.

People are very strange...

It works both ways though. Can’t you do the phoning or issue the invitation? Why is it her responsibility, not yours?

Every year we receive a card from Bill and Anita addressed to the previous owners.
We have lived here for over 20 years. There is no way to inform them Ann and Cyril have moved.

I enjoy receiving cards from friends in places where we used to live. It is impractical to meet up, but lovely to keep in touch once a year, especially if there are a few words of news in the card.

To show that they’re still alive….
Our Christmas card list is rather shorter than it was 10 years ago.

Allira

keepingquiet

I was told by an old work colleague who still insists on sending a birthday and Christmas card, that I was on her 'list.'

I was a bit offended by this- I think I'm worth more than just being on a 'list.' Maybe an occasional phone call? An invitation to a meet-up? No, just a list.

People are very strange...

It means she still thinks of you.
Positively, not negatively or else you'd be off her list.

I still think of people although we never see them now.

Yes, I am sure she still thinks of me, and we have good shared memories of when we worked together.

I don't see what this has to do with sending cards though.

Flippinheck

keepingquiet

I was told by an old work colleague who still insists on sending a birthday and Christmas card, that I was on her 'list.'

I was a bit offended by this- I think I'm worth more than just being on a 'list.' Maybe an occasional phone call? An invitation to a meet-up? No, just a list.

People are very strange...

It works both ways though. Can’t you do the phoning or issue the invitation? Why is it her responsibility, not yours?

It isn't a 'responsibility' aren't friendships worth more than that.

Calls not returned, e-mails not replied to, no actual friendship any more, no arrangements to meet-up responded to.

So why the cards? I'm just on the list!

Only one list I'm worried about being on & that's between me & Santa

Just to let you know they are still alive probably.

One way of keeping up with people is including a letter keeping people up to date with how your life is.

I am sure this suggestion will trigger a thread on hating round robins.

If it’s to someone I’ve not seen for years I always write a few lines and generally get a few back.
Most often I save cards from year before to refer to when writing following years.

My parents had a lot of contacts whom I knew from childhood. When my parents died I wrote to all their contacts about their passing in Christmas letters. Some stayed in touch but after ten years there is now only one and she is in her 80s. I assume the rest have either given up or passed away. If I don't hear from someone one year, I don't send a card from them the next. Often, via the internet you can see who is sadly no longer with us.