I have flu and I want to cancel Christmas

Do not tell them they can come and do the cooking, because by the sound of it they wont , if they were that way inclined they would have been helping on previous years. Tell them you are unwell and don't think you will be well enough to host this year, but that individually they can call in over the few days before or after for a drink and a mince pie. If they say don't worry mum we will sort it if you feel that they will say yes, but you must say me and dad won't be helping , if it all goes pear shaped so be it, ( cheese board and mince pies is lovely) they will never learn if you don't let them.

At 11 am Katya said she was leaving this thread and at 2pm you give her more advice
She’s left Goldenage always best to check the posts before you or how else can you give advice

Tell them all that you're not up to it this year - suggest that if they want the family gathering they can still have it at yours but they must co-ordinate the event including all the cooking and washing up. Give them a deadline by which to let you know. If they all decide on other things you will still have enough time to get what you need for a two-person Christmas lunch if you want one and for once get something ready-made if you want. Show some self-compassion. I hope you recover soon. I

Thanks GNers for all the cheerleading and useful advice. I am going to stop watching this thread now, as I have found parts of it a bit stressful and that's not doing my recovery any favours. Hope the season treats you well. Over and out!

Sandrina

I am sorry you have been laid low. I think perhaps some posters were confused as on Thursday 11th you said this ....

"Mine has only just started"

I hope you feel better very soon and enjoy your Christmas your way.

Yes, that was confusing! What I was trying to convey was that I was well behind my husband, who got it a week ahead of me. So, whereas he might be better by Christmas Eve (as that's when we do the family meal do celebrate Scandinavian roots), it's entirely possible I won't be.

But now I am feeling slightly better I am lying here panicking about Christmas.
Katya, you absolutely must cancel Christmas. You are ill, and worrying about organising Christmas will impede your recovery, plus going out and shopping, organising the house etc

.Don't even think about hosting it; it will be , Mum, how many sausages do I need to get, where do you buy mince pies, where do you keep the cups (I am not joking), is this cooked??? etc etc etc.

TELL your family you are seriously ill and you cannot do Christmas this year and they will have to organise it themselves, and LEAVE THEM TO IT.
(I thought your response to Cumbrian123 was remarkably restrained.)
I am not impressed either with another sweeping statement:
Take no notice of the GN’s who think they know everything and appear to take pleasure in telling you.... a lot of them seem to be in their 80s so we are a completely different generation to them
as I approach my eightieth birthday.

I have never forgotten the Christmas my family got ill on Boxing Day and didn't re-surface until new Years Eve! I recall watching Amadeus on the TV because it was all I was capable of doing.
Some strains of flu can kill, and certainly they take ages to recover from.
You obviously have a close and loving family who should rally round for you.
I also had a Christmas where I had both arms in slings and my DH had to do it all- we never had guests though.
I would let your DH do it if he wants- even if he messes up- but you may also be pleasantly surprised. I hope you are well enough to at least celebrate the New Year in style too!

Assuming you will be physically well by christmas you will not have been able to do any of the prep or shopping and possibly the house will be a mess. I would cancel christmas in a heartbeat and allow your family to make their own arrangements going foreward. Men often say "ofhI wil do it all" but they rarely do whats required except in a disney fashion. Most men are expert in weaponised incompetence.

I am sorry you have been laid low. I think perhaps some posters were confused as on Thursday 11th you said this ....

"Mine has only just started"

I hope you feel better very soon and enjoy your Christmas your way.

karmalady

KatyaStrings

Cumbrian123

I quite agree , real flu and you wouldn’t be able to post on here.
Probably just a bad cold and you’ll be fine by Xmas.

WT actual F!!!!

I would not want to go to someone who responds with such foul language.

Cumbrian has a very pertinent post

Yes, sorry about that, I lost it as I was feeling particularly awful when I read that - but to have people telling you that you don't have flu when you have been in bed for 3 days with awful headaches, fever and joint pains and a very nast cough - and no runny nose or other typical cold symptoms - was hard to take. Plus it was my birthday and I'd had to cancel lots of plans including a long awaited visit fom my distant son.

I have a rare form of inflammatory vasculitis which, when it flares, gives me flu-like symptoms, which I distract myself from by doing stuff on my ipad. Maybe I am better able to do that than others, simply through years of practice?

Not sure what people hoped to achieve by telling me what I did and didn't have, but it really really was not helpful and stressed me right out, as you can tell. Maybe I should have introduced my post saying 'I am getting over the flu but still feel horrendous'.

I think this is a bit out of hand with people who have no idea telling the poster what she has and doesn’t have, and then her getting upset and having a moment.
Let’s all calm down, it’s no one’s business what type of flu she has, but she obviously feels very unwell as is her husband and shes concerned and disappointed that she’s going to mess the plans up and it’s worrying her on top of feeling unwell. That’s all justified
There is another 12 days to go so if you start to feel better and think you can manage it then go ahead but …..please, please, please designate the jobs out … ‘Samantha can you bring the pudding’ ‘Jack can you do the starters’ John and Mary can you wash up snd clear away’ and and your husband put your feet up and have a nod off . Hopefully they can spoil you a bit and will understand

If there’s no improvement then have your get-together at New Year it ll be something to look forward too when hopefully you re both feeling more up to it

KatyaStrings
Take no notice of the GN’s who think they know everything and appear to take pleasure in telling you. Also a lot of them seem to be in their 80s so we are a completely different generation to them (I’m 66).
I hope you’re recovering well, don’t cancel your Xmas but I would 100% ask your family to prepare or help with the dinner. Ask the most organised one to sort out a work sheet so everyone knows what they are expected to do.
I have worked every Xmas day for the last 3 years and my daughters and husband cooked Xmas dinner, I just came home and enjoyed it. I retired in May so it’s my turn. I do lots of lists.🤣 I am doing my Xmas shopping on Monday so all I need Xmas eve is the fresh stuff.
I have had flu twice in my life and I was in bed for about 3 days each time, I was really tired after that and had to rest a lot for about a week but then I was fine.
Enjoy your Xmas.

KatyaStrings

Cumbrian123

I quite agree , real flu and you wouldn’t be able to post on here.
Probably just a bad cold and you’ll be fine by Xmas.

WT actual F!!!!

I would not want to go to someone who responds with such foul language.

Cumbrian has a very pertinent post

I don’t think I’ve ever had real flu I’ve only ever had the sort you feel bad for three or four days and then back to normal
If you are both that bad why not cancel till New Year then maybe have a get together then
I don’t know your age but you have 6 adult children with houses flats etc and none have ‘taken over’ Christmas yet 🤣 my daughter took over Christmas when I was in my early 70 s
I just sit back and get cooked for for two days usually the grankids who are both good cooks do most if it but they’re both away at Christmas this year so we ll probably both be brored neither of us are Christmas people just go through the motions to be normal 🤣

Just cancel. You're not well and it's time to hand the reins over. You'll feel better once you make the decision. They will have plenty of time to get themselves sorted.

sandelf

Sorry but if you have flu you're being irresponsible to invite anyone to spend time with you.

Christmas is in two weeks time. I will nt be contagious by then obviously.

MaluCatchu1

Can’t be flu or you wouldn’t be able to see to write on here to be honest. Real flu floors you and you can’t do a thing. It’s probably a cold but it’s not flu

Another one! I am finding it really really disrespectful of all these people telling me I do not know what I have!!! Are you really suggesting I want to wriggle out of Christmas on the basis of having a nasty cold? Are you teally suggesting I have reached the age of 68 without kniwing the diference??? It borders on gaslighting!

I would not have been able to write on here 3 days ago. But now I am feeling slightly better I am lying here panicking about Christmas. I can soooooo do without ignorant people telling me I have a cold when not only me and my poor husband but others in my circle have been floored by this virus. Imhave asked for help in deciding what to do. Not to be trolled by people suggesting I'm being a hypochondriac or putting one over on my family!

Flu can make you feel like hell even if you're over it by Christmas you might still feel off .
It's okay to cancel Christnas if it's just too much.
Or if you are well can the celebration be modified so that you can delegate and relax ?
Not easy if everyone expects a banquet and you to be worn to a frazzle.
Do what's best for you and don't feel guilty.

Just tell them they are welcome to come, but you’re not well enough to cook, so it will be a Chinese takeaway!

Looks like this is the year when the younger members of your family can step up and organise something instead of relying on you and your husband every year. Whether it's a bad cold or flu doesn't matter, you're feeling rough and you need to rest.

Sorry but if you have flu you're being irresponsible to invite anyone to spend time with you.

Just what I was going to suggest, they are adults perfectly capable of organising themselves, one brings and cooks meat, one veg etc. your husband can ensure they clean up after, you can stay in bed and if you feel up to it get up for Christmas lunch. If they don’t want to do that then cancel it all and get together in January hopefully when u feel better, too much emphasis and stress is put on this one day ( says her who is feeding 12)

Can’t be flu or you wouldn’t be able to see to write on here to be honest. Real flu floors you and you can’t do a thing. It’s probably a cold but it’s not flu

Do not even consider hosting Christmas at a later date. Suggest your family might like to organise a get-together in the warmer months that you can attend, if fully recovered!

Let everyone know you have flu, cancel your arrangements immediately and let it be known you would appreciate some food and medication shopping done for you as you are unable to go out.
Do not consider 'seeing how you feel' nearer the time as you will be washed out and should not contemplate providing Christmas for your selfish family. It may be a wake-up call for them.